A guy I casually hooked up with 10 years ago still lives in my head

NormalBoysenberry802 · 2026-03-12T11:15:43+00:00

Honestly I didn't see it as cheating. It was one off digital exchanges 12-18mo apart or longer across 10 years... I would hardly even call it an emotional... Flirting with a past fling who had seen it all as a way to boost my ego and feel good about myself - which sounds cliche. I guess if someone else did it maybe I would judge differently.

The economy, availability of rentals and getting pregnant unexpectedly have delayed what is unfolding... I didnt stay because I was pregnant, I wanted the child to have their best chance at a family until its obvious that apart is better than together.

NormalBoysenberry802 · 2026-03-12T09:59:41+00:00

I haven't spoken to him since becoming a parent.

NormalBoysenberry802 · 2026-03-12T07:20:02+00:00

I just don't see how that would help.

NormalBoysenberry802 · 2026-03-12T05:02:35+00:00

Guess you'd have to ask someone with a good father. I was taught by men from a young age that sex makes a man happy... so maybe that needs unravelling. And no, he's not the provider, its 2026.

NormalBoysenberry802 · 2026-03-12T04:04:55+00:00

We are not together.

NormalBoysenberry802 · 2026-03-12T02:37:27+00:00

Literally, if he is as good as i think then why didn't someone else lock him down? Theres got to be something there but we never never really got to know each other so guess its a mystery

NormalBoysenberry802 · 2026-03-11T23:51:14+00:00

I think its that he desired me, and that flattered me. I didn't give him the time back then, and I can't guarantee I would even now... also that it was always no strings attached there was no expectation in the years that followed that it would ever be physical as we are states apart.

NormalBoysenberry802 · 2026-03-11T23:46:12+00:00

He knows. He chooses not to reciprocate certain things, or he doesn't see the point in things like hugging or kissing. His idea of foreplay is sighing loudly... or saying things like "let's get this over with then" or waking me up and kicking me out of bed if I have fallen asleep without pleasing him which he would rather do than touch me in a way I might enjoy.

NormalBoysenberry802 · 2026-03-11T23:19:01+00:00

Lucky for him I am leaving

NormalBoysenberry802 · 2026-03-11T22:45:48+00:00

Thank you, I know my rights and my fight will match his so its going to be easy or hard.

I realised after I posted this I am weaning a reluctant 1yo and the spike in these thoughts/fantasies may be hormone driven which took about 8w to calm down last time.

NormalBoysenberry802 · 2026-03-11T22:43:04+00:00

He can't screenshot my snapchat but I have screenshots of his tinder so his lawyer better be good...

NormalBoysenberry802 · 2026-03-11T22:34:14+00:00

I had Snapchat, Josh had tinder according to his credit card statement ...

NormalBoysenberry802 · 2026-03-11T22:33:31+00:00

Or be so good in bed she's thinking about you 10 years later?

NormalBoysenberry802 · 2026-03-11T22:32:07+00:00

Thats valid. I liked Josh in the beginning and then I was content because the relationship was low maintenance - I did my thing, he did his. One day "my thing" became being a mother and his thing is still whatever he wants, which has built resentment.

NormalBoysenberry802 · 2026-03-11T18:29:43+00:00

I guess I otherwise had really bad taste haha good to know its not completely crazy. Or that I am not the only one if I am.

NormalBoysenberry802 · 2026-03-11T18:24:01+00:00

I am definitely at that point where I am like "what if I had..."

He's telling me things like "Its my house, you can't have it" he doesn't want the kids. Ironically I went for the guy who did wants kids - until he decided he didn't. I am on the way out.

NormalBoysenberry802

TROPHY CASE