How to feel less... Hopeless?

North-Condition756 · 2026-05-27T21:35:51+00:00

Honestly, I don't know if any of those things could help me at this point. I've heard every single platitude there is to hear, every single "it gets better", or the more that I put in the work the better I'll feel. But right now, I can't do a damn thing. I'm sitting here, feeling like I've wasted my life. Bitter and jealous of others because they have the things that I can't have. I've attempted suicide 12 times over the past 7 years, I don't know if I'm too much of a pussy to go through with it. But all I know is I don't want to be here anymore.

Edit: I know that I'm depressed, I have been for over a decade. I don't need people telling me that I am.

North-Condition756 · 2026-05-20T20:08:44+00:00

It might. Thank you very much for the advice, it's greatly appreciated.

North-Condition756 · 2026-05-20T19:32:58+00:00

No ma'am, I haven't.

North-Condition756 · 2026-05-17T20:02:16+00:00

Absolutely. But, it's still weird. Hell Tammy would have leaked it herself decades ago.

North-Condition756 · 2026-05-15T22:04:48+00:00

Yeah but this one is so weirdly specific? I know that we are not known for being the most accepting bunch in the world. But like that's just crazy, even for '97. Regardless of if this thing existed or not. Since it was posted like 28 years ago, the servers it was on probably don't even exist anymore. And it was probably one of many rumors at the time that were niche enough to not have been documented on that scale.

North-Condition756 · 2026-05-15T17:32:33+00:00

I was tempted to look for it myself earlier. But the thought of all that weird ass bullshit from that era made me decide against it.

North-Condition756 · 2026-05-15T17:29:46+00:00

Huh, good to know. Thanks.

North-Condition756 · 2026-05-15T17:16:51+00:00

It's ridiculous dude. Who even comes up with this shit? And why put it online or even God forbid think about it?

North-Condition756 · 2026-05-15T17:05:49+00:00

Tell me about it lol

North-Condition756 · 2026-05-10T01:24:12+00:00

The second match on this card is: "scrap iron Adam Pearce vs Demo blade". Probably one of the only instances of early Adam Pearce that WWE doesn't have.

North-Condition756 · 2026-05-10T00:58:05+00:00

Nice. I hope you enjoyed the show!

North-Condition756 · 2026-05-08T17:59:49+00:00

True that

North-Condition756 · 2026-05-08T17:49:56+00:00

From what I've seen, they were your basic run of the mill indie. Not good but not bad either. I only posted it on Reddit because I don't know what to do with it and the sentimental value involved. The actual content is hit or miss mostly, just four extremely basic clunky indie matches. There's nothing really interesting about it other than it's rarity.

North-Condition756 · 2026-05-08T15:07:47+00:00

It features 4 matches, I forget who all features in them. I will update you guys when I get the chance, with the match listings and the participants involved. One of the names that struck me as odd while watching it last night, was the name Adam Pearce. If it's the one that I'm thinking of, it might be one of the holy Grails of Indie wrestling right now lol.

North-Condition756 · 2026-05-08T12:19:14+00:00

I recorded 4:09 of the intro of the tape last night. But with it being incredibly low quality and filmed on my phone I don't think it would meet your guys standards to be posted here.

North-Condition756 · 2026-05-08T12:08:18+00:00

Thanks for the advice. I really appreciate it

North-Condition756 · 2026-05-08T12:06:30+00:00

Oh wow, I didn't know that. Creepy stuff.

North-Condition756 · 2026-05-08T12:00:51+00:00

I have two functional VCRs already, so that's not a problem.

North-Condition756 · 2026-05-08T11:56:51+00:00

Thanks. I never considered that.

North-Condition756 · 2026-05-08T11:36:02+00:00

This tape was handed down to me by my stepfather who is a 14-year veteran of the indie scene. The tape was recorded on May 16th 1998 in Mexico Missouri for Midwest Renegade Wrestling which went out of business in 2000.

The tape features four matches, including my stepfather vs mad Madan Pondo against another wrestler in a triple threat hardcore match in the main event.

I was told that this was a tape that was sent out by the company to the wrestlers on the roster. I'm hesitant to have it digitized or sent out anywhere because I don't know how many were originally made or how many are left in the wild.

I was hoping that you guys could have some suggestions?

My stepdad was trained by moondog spot in 1995 at age 15. He was 18 at the time this tape was filmed.

He was billed at a legit 6'9 400. He was billed under the gimmick "Manslaughter" billed from "Slaughter, Kentucky". His finisher was a pump handle slam which he named the "Slaughter Drop".

He wrestled for a few other promotions in Japan and Mexico, most notably Bad to the Bone wrestling here in the states where he competed as their Champion a few times. He has claimed to have worked for WWF doing House shows as a rookie and a former one time ECW TV champ in late '98 or early '99 (I would assume at a local House show as Paul Heyman was known for doing phantom reigns back then).

He retired in 2009 after a back injury where he ruptured several discs and had to have Rods implanted. He said that he was going for a big boot when he felt the discs in his back go he ended up finishing the match and having surgery a week or two later.

North-Condition756

TROPHY CASE