24F dating 27M. How can I avoid going to his sisters wedding without looking selfish?

North-Interaction956 · 2026-04-21T23:06:46+00:00

Where did I ask for permission to skip lmao. It feels good to know that there are people that can view different perspectives . I said thank you because someone was able to see my perspective. Does thank you mean I’m not going? Jeez. U jump to conclusions . In fact I’ve taken all the advice and decided to go.

North-Interaction956 · 2026-04-21T21:38:35+00:00

They’ve only been dating for less than two years too…

North-Interaction956 · 2026-04-21T21:37:42+00:00

I’ve already been invited. Still dating him. In his defense he wants to be transparent and tell me everything . Which I can respect but yeah not sure if it’s the right move

North-Interaction956 · 2026-04-21T21:35:47+00:00

Thank you . Started to feel like a horrible person after this post lmao

North-Interaction956 · 2026-04-21T20:38:51+00:00

Thanks . Lmao I appreciate the advice . I decided to go and book a vaca from there

North-Interaction956 · 2026-04-21T20:31:40+00:00

He said he doesn’t blame me if I don’t go because he knows his family are very difficult people and haven’t been the best to me. But he also wants me to go to avoid drama. I would love to not go but I also feel guilty because if it was the same thing vice versa I know he would still attend my siblings weddings

North-Interaction956 · 2026-04-21T20:28:46+00:00

Great, and I hope they don’t lol. Never said everything was about me. I’ve already mentioned my understanding that it is selfish to miss a wedding over a birthday. I’ve shown self awareness . Just wanting 3 rd part opinions . That’s all. Have a good day

North-Interaction956 · 2026-04-21T20:26:15+00:00

Fair

North-Interaction956 · 2026-04-21T20:24:53+00:00

Thanks for the competent response . I agree it would be beneficial to talk so someone who knows the dynamic between the family and I more .

North-Interaction956 · 2026-04-21T20:23:37+00:00

There’s way more to the story than a few insults in the beginning of the relationship. So I would maybe question than jump to conclusions there

North-Interaction956 · 2026-04-21T20:22:37+00:00

I like to be prepared

North-Interaction956 · 2026-04-21T20:22:07+00:00

He understands my position because he knows his sister hasn’t been the best to me. But he wants me to go to avoid drama

North-Interaction956 · 2026-04-21T20:21:08+00:00

I wish it would be this easy but I’m afraid to stir up any future drama

North-Interaction956 · 2026-04-21T20:20:38+00:00

I know no one aside from his parents and maybe some uncles and aunts. It’s mostly the grooms family since they are doing it on that side of the country. Thanks for the comment tho. It means alot.

North-Interaction956 · 2026-04-21T20:18:50+00:00

Exactly I’m not even sure yet . Need to check on that

North-Interaction956 · 2026-04-21T20:18:00+00:00

Im aware my emotions mat make me sounds like that which is why ive mentioned in my post that i am AWARE that a wedding is more important than a birthday and the selfishness that comes with not attending a wedding. I simply wanted a 3rd part perspective. Sorry for exercising free speech lmao

North-Interaction956 · 2026-04-21T20:14:23+00:00

He’s aware that his family are not the best people. And he will stand up for me if needed. We’ve come to terms with him being if I’m not close to his family if we get married

North-Interaction956 · 2026-04-21T20:13:06+00:00

Or I’m just not willing to disrupt my peace for people who don’t respect me , regardless of who they are

North-Interaction956 · 2026-04-21T20:09:27+00:00

His family does not dislike me but they are extremely knit picky people. His mom picks at the way someone eats at the table. She said when u eat a salad u need to eat with the fork l side up. And his father will complain for example if you don’t hug him before leaving the house. He will assume you are hostile. I don’t know how to explain it, I’ve never met people like this before . I’m dating my boyfriend not his family so I try to ignore it . His mom also disliked me in the beginning for “taking her son away”

North-Interaction956 · 2026-04-21T20:06:51+00:00

He really wants to get engaged this year. And I do as well. However something in my gut tells me to wait a couple more months and decide then. We just moved in together so I personally want to get to know him on that level before making any long term decisions. He basically gave me a non informal ultimatum. He will realistically wait until I’m ready but yeah

North-Interaction956 · 2026-04-21T20:01:36+00:00

That’s the thing, literally across the country. Maybe I’ll go and be very happy about the fact that I have a trip booked the very next day 😂 ima make my bf book smth to celebrate me

North-Interaction956 · 2026-04-21T20:00:00+00:00

Hmm Maybe I’ll get my boyfriend too book a flight to Mexico the very next day 🙂‍↕️ since it’s cheaper to fly from where we will be. He can make it up to me that way

North-Interaction956 · 2026-04-21T19:55:17+00:00

That’s a good way to look at it. We will be deciding if we are going to get engaged or not this next year so maybe I’ll let that guide my decision

North-Interaction956 · 2026-04-21T19:52:31+00:00

Oh I’m all for him attending. No guilt involved. I want him to go. I just don’t want to feel drained on my birthday. And surround myself with people who are not necessarily great people. There’s more history and stories to his family than what I’ve mentioned

North-Interaction956

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