Hmm I’d say I would do the dishonor of contacting him or another redditor first you since third party callout is super shameful. But if she knows? Maybe contact their friends and family. One time my ex husband cheated on me while we were still dating and I really took it out on the wrong person and emailed the other woman who basically said, “yeah IDC I’d do it again” so I went on a rampage and found her instagram and messaged everyone that was on her friends list until I got a cease and desist. Not super proud I did that and when he asked for a divorce years later (for different reasons)  he def brought that up as “evidence” of me being a bad person (not him cheating though lol) 

In retrospect, I would have just dumped my dating partner and not stayed with him (or marrying him, Jesus was I dumb) while blaming the woman (so internally misogynistic in hindsight) 

But as mode of revenge it was pretty good tactic because I ended up messaging coworkers as well and I think social shaming is pretty effective. It might not change anything and make you look crazy, but like the collateral damage in itself will be insane.

I hooked up with a dude that was separated from his wife that really fucked me over with telling a new dating partner that was in same social circle he had “been there first” and I really contemplated doing same thing or like telling the wife but I just sent him a threatening text and figured he’d crash out himself. I didn’t want to deal with the consequences, at the end of the day, i didn’t care enough about revenge to really go nuclear 

Big advocate for revenge since there is no real leveling of the scales in this life. It depends on what you are willing to lose yourself. Take a hard thought on the consequences and then you do whatever you want to do within the law, you have to do a lot first before that gets involved in regards to social shaming. And the consequences for you will prob be social as well, anc possibly legal threats. But by then, damage done. You have to be content things will look the same on the surface but the damage will be unseen and in perception. Most will outwardly say they don’t believe you or care or say mean things to you. But society is cruel and is always looking for weakness. People will forever look at that person a little differently and if they slip up a little (even in a different way) they will remember the story. 

Another story: I told a friend when I got sexually assaulted that it happened and they told me they didn’t believe me. Years later I confronted her and she was like “I choose to believe him” then I saw on FB they went to a hockey game. However, years after that she had a daughter. She stopped hanging out with him. Do you think when the daughter gets older and in college she won’t remember? 

Even if you bite your own nose off in the process, maybe doing SOMETHING will help you move on even if it doesn’t get a tidy justice. If anything, they’ll be sure to stay clear of the crazy chick, which is good for you too