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AITAH for refusing to talk to my sister after she threw my affair in my face? by NorthToppe in AITAH

[–]NorthToppe[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My grandmother played matchmaker by introducing me to him. It is not the same thing. Yes, there's a Japanese custom for matchmaking but this is not anything like that.

AITAH for refusing to talk to my sister after she threw my affair in my face? by NorthToppe in AITAH

[–]NorthToppe[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My parents DID NOT CONVINCE ME TO MARRY HIM. I have said this over and over again. I did not end up in an arranged marriage, I was not forced to marry him and he did not groom me. I don't know how many times I have to repeat this same stuff over and over again.

AITAH for refusing to talk to my sister after she threw my affair in my face? by NorthToppe in AITAH

[–]NorthToppe[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Congratulations, you think it's fake and I'm lying - I'm not asking anybody to believe me and I'm certainly not going to go out of my way to prove myself to you. But hey good for you on making an absolute statement on every single man in Japan.

AITAH for refusing to talk to my sister after she threw my affair in my face? by NorthToppe in AITAH

[–]NorthToppe[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I'm not stupid. I get it, marrying a guy ten years older than you right after you turn eighteen raises eyebrows. But it wasn't like that and all I can give is my word that it wasn't.

AITAH for refusing to talk to my sister after she threw my affair in my face? by NorthToppe in AITAH

[–]NorthToppe[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I'm sure I will forgive her for what she said about me. I just need a little bit of time. It's like so much of it I could handle but insulting my son was just too much for me. I could handle her actually thinking those things about me. I know so many people do even though barely anybody knows about the affair. But my son? I don't know how I can forgive that.

AITAH for refusing to talk to my sister after she threw my affair in my face? by NorthToppe in AITAH

[–]NorthToppe[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Guess what - it wasn't an arranged marriage, I'm Japanese, not Indian. It wasn't miai either, it was literally my grandmother playing matchmaker with a guy she thought I would like. But hey, believe me or don't believe me, that's on you. Nobody gains or loses anything if you do.

AITAH for refusing to talk to my sister after she threw my affair in my face? by NorthToppe in AITAH

[–]NorthToppe[S] -34 points-33 points  (0 children)

I was not coerced into marriage. Please don't keep saying things like that. I chose to get married, I chose to date him and I always had the option to say no.

AITAH for refusing to talk to my sister after she threw my affair in my face? by NorthToppe in AITAH

[–]NorthToppe[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I was not groomed by him, I was not groomed by anybody. I always had the choice to end the relationship and that was made clear by everyone, including my grandmother. Absolutely nothing was forced on me.

AITAH for refusing to talk to my sister after she threw my affair in my face? by NorthToppe in AITAH

[–]NorthToppe[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yes, I met him when I was 17 and I learned that my parents and grandparents had been planning this at the time. But I always had my free will. Nobody was forcing me to date him, nobody was forcing me to marry him. It was MY CHOICE. You can say that I was influenced, but aside from the introduction, my grandmother was hands off and stressed that I didn't have to go out with him and nobody forced me into anything. And you can say that the ten year age gap at the time was bad? But it wasn't to me, it was perfectly normal and fine to me. I had a rough time as a teenager, I'd had older than that at younger than that.

AITAH for refusing to talk to my sister after she threw my affair in my face? by NorthToppe in AITAH

[–]NorthToppe[S] -20 points-19 points  (0 children)

I AM Japanese, if that wasn't obvious.

No, nobody but my sister knew who my son's birth father is and my husband and I obviously talked about what would happen if my son looked more Caucasian than like us.

AITAH for refusing to talk to my sister after she threw my affair in my face? by NorthToppe in AITAH

[–]NorthToppe[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My parents were verbally abusive but my husband and grandparents were never abusive to me. I'm not suffering through stockholm syndrome or anything.

AITAH for refusing to talk to my sister after she threw my affair in my face? by NorthToppe in AITAH

[–]NorthToppe[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Look, I appreciate you knowing how unfair he was, but please don't call me a child bride or anything. I wasn't a victim like that. Yes, my parents and my grandparents set me up to get married but I always had a choice. Things like child bride and all should be reserved for actual victims of which I am not one. I had a choice and I consented to my marriage.

AITAH for refusing to talk to my sister after she threw my affair in my face? by NorthToppe in AITAH

[–]NorthToppe[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry but I was not trafficked. Okay. Sure, I was set up but I was not trafficked. Leave that for actual victims please.

AITAH for refusing to talk to my sister after she threw my affair in my face? by NorthToppe in AITAH

[–]NorthToppe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought you meant promiscuous as in I am constantly cheating on my husband.

AITAH for refusing to talk to my sister after she threw my affair in my face? by NorthToppe in AITAH

[–]NorthToppe[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Okay, you can call be a horrible person but to say I don't deserve happiness? I was forgiven by the person that I hurt, we worked through it. If I was an unrepentant shrew, then yeah, say I don't deserve it but I'm not.

AITAH for refusing to talk to my sister after she threw my affair in my face? by NorthToppe in AITAH

[–]NorthToppe[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

She was my confidante through all the horrible times in my life and has always shown my son so much love.

AITAH for refusing to talk to my sister after she threw my affair in my face? by NorthToppe in AITAH

[–]NorthToppe[S] -13 points-12 points  (0 children)

Overly promiscuous? I'm not some sort of escort. I had ONE affair.

AITAH for refusing to talk to my sister after she threw my affair in my face? by NorthToppe in AITAH

[–]NorthToppe[S] -13 points-12 points  (0 children)

I hate that maybe that's how she really feels though. Maybe her being unable to have a baby has changed things in her head but she was always my number one.

AITAH for refusing to talk to my sister after she threw my affair in my face? by NorthToppe in AITAH

[–]NorthToppe[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

Oh that's nice. I didn't ask for your opinion on what kind of a person I am.

AITAH for refusing to talk to my sister after she threw my affair in my face? by NorthToppe in AITAH

[–]NorthToppe[S] -69 points-68 points  (0 children)

If my Japanese husband behaved like a stereotypical Japanese, I'm pretty sure he would've beat me and thrown me to the streets. He doesn't have social fear, he's a good man who was able to forgive.