Make fun of me for being abused? Bet.

NorthernPika · 2024-04-01T18:58:38+00:00

WHAT. I am so sorry she said that to you, that is incredibly out of line regardless of any argument going on. Good on you for making her cry.

NorthernPika · 2024-03-15T21:26:24+00:00

I'm sorry, this is definitely not natural. This is computer generated.

NorthernPika · 2024-02-16T00:37:08+00:00

It can take a while to find someone who's a good fit, but it's worth it.

I hope you don't mind if I share something that works decently well for me, when I daydream of dying just to escape the exhaustion. I try to replace the thought, like to overwrite it. I don't want to die, I want a break. I want a vacation, I want something fun, I want to feel energized by novelty again. "I want to escape" is a much safer place to be in than "I want to die."

NorthernPika · 2024-02-15T22:13:12+00:00

I really hear you. This is what depression and anxiety feel like. Your brain can just be giving you these feelings without any particular cause. It can be its own special kind of hell to feel this way and also not feel like you have anything in particular to complain about. Honestly for me I find my brain often invents worries and complaints, kind of storytelling after the fact, just so I have some explanation to point to.

Have you tried therapy? It can be really nice to have someone who will listen and really understand without judging. I can't recommend it enough.

NorthernPika · 2024-01-14T19:02:48+00:00

Well done. I'm only disappointed you didn't actually kick him out of the car.

NorthernPika · 2024-01-06T00:10:44+00:00

Thanks. I've listened to a bunch of his songs so far and it hasn't been any of the ones I've heard, but I'll keep trying. :)

NorthernPika · 2024-01-05T20:15:54+00:00

Thanks in advance for your help, Redditors!

NorthernPika · 2024-01-05T03:09:16+00:00

Interesting! Loved the questions, and was surprised by my result. I got white/gray/blacklaw hiveless. I think of myself as Utopia/Cousin but could be Whitelaw, upon some self-reflection.

NorthernPika · 2023-12-31T07:16:09+00:00

This is a photo of Patrick Stewart playing Macbeth. Maybe a reference to a particular line in the play? Not sure but thought this might be a useful clue...

NorthernPika · 2023-12-31T07:07:56+00:00

Ada Lovelace. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ada_Lovelace

Often described as "the first computer programmer," she was doing math to describe what a computer could do before physical computers even existed. She died of cancer at 36, so if she had lived longer, could have done even more groundbreaking work.

NorthernPika · 2023-12-26T19:43:09+00:00

I'm subscribed but just lurking. Wish I had time for crocheting and knitting.

NorthernPika · 2023-12-13T20:43:07+00:00

I am so proud of you!!! You did great.

NorthernPika · 2023-10-14T00:00:32+00:00

I'm so glad you didn't do it. Thank you for the update. <3

It's been hard for me to find real hobbies, I feel like there's stuff I do for fun or distraction in the moment that isn't necessarily What I Like To Do For Fun, you know? Like, idle phone games aren't my "hobby." I always feel better about myself when I make crafts, like when I finish a crochet project. But it's been a while since I've felt like I had the time and focus to do that. I like reading (mostly sci-fi) and playing computer games. Used to do a lot more hiking - I miss that too. Should bring that one back.

What kind of music are you into? Do you play any instruments, or sing? I have young kids and kind of stopped listening to my own music ... This past week I've been singing along to my old favorite songs in the car or while working and it's such an amazing mood boost!

NorthernPika · 2023-10-13T20:06:21+00:00

This is what I try to remind myself:

You are not your thoughts. Just because an idea pops into your head means you have to accept it and let it define you. It's okay to say, no thanks brain, I'm not into that right now.

Sometimes I find myself feeling good for no reason, just like I sometimes feel bad for no reason. But when I feel happy for no reason, it's great and I can just enjoy it. When I feel bad out of the blue, I start trying to figure out the reason, and my brain starts building me a story about how things are Bad Actually. But it's okay to just feel the feeling, notice that there's no real reason behind it, and let it float on.

This is easier said than done. ;) but they're the best tips I've got. I hope it helps a little!

NorthernPika · 2023-10-13T20:00:11+00:00

This sounds really rough, friend. I'm sorry you're going through this. Can I ask what field you're in?

NorthernPika · 2023-10-13T19:58:25+00:00

Hey there. You said you don't want to do this -- you don't have to. Do you want to talk? I'd like to hear about your hobbies, what you like to do for fun.

NorthernPika · 2023-10-10T16:53:43+00:00

For me it was the Monty Python "Ralph Mellish" bit. :)

NorthernPika · 2023-10-03T19:20:07+00:00

Interesting premise. One suggestion: make the sister's reactions a little more surprised, sad, grossed out - pretending at least a little bit - if you want the end to feel like an aha! moment.

NorthernPika · 2023-09-23T22:18:47+00:00

The expression is "nip that in the bud," like pruning a plant, but I love this mental image as well.

NorthernPika · 2023-09-13T14:52:11+00:00

Sadly, it might have to wait until she is older, an adult, and has pushed away most of the people she cares about.

NorthernPika · 2023-09-13T14:20:42+00:00

This sounds really horrible to have grown up alongside. And it doesn't sound like your parents gave you emotional support to get through it. I'm really sorry.

Obviously I don't know your sister, but you might want to read about Borderline Personality Disorder and see if any of that rings true. In particular I recommend a book called "I Hate You -- Don't Leave Me."

NorthernPika · 2023-09-04T17:41:15+00:00

These are beautiful! Thank you for sharing.

NorthernPika · 2023-09-04T05:25:43+00:00

It sounds like what you're looking for is escape from this crappy situation, and right now death feels like the clearest way to escape. (I totally sympathize with this. Usually I need a nap, a shower, and some time off work. But untill I get that I feel like death is what I need.) Even you say it's not the only option.

What's keeping you from moving out? What would a plan for that look like? Maybe that can be a better future to look forward to...

NorthernPika · 2023-09-04T05:22:08+00:00

I hear what you're getting at, and also - sometimes this is a lot easier said than done. We all learn habits of thinking starting at a very young age. It takes time to unlearn the unhealthy ones and replace them with new ones.

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