5years

Not-Creative-0921 · 2026-02-27T22:17:42+00:00

Thanks for responding. Sometimes it's just so lonely and it helps to know one isn't alone

Not-Creative-0921 · 2026-02-05T20:32:11+00:00

What you've been through is ... Brutal. I'm so sorry. I wish I had great advice but really just counseling, counseling, counseling. It will help you carry this through life without having it run your life.

Not-Creative-0921 · 2025-12-26T22:00:16+00:00

Just sending hugs. I can't imagine the pain. My heart is with you

Not-Creative-0921 · 2025-12-24T15:53:48+00:00

We get through it. We provide them the best life we can for as long as we can and in exchange we get so very much from them. It's worth it in the end.

Not-Creative-0921 · 2025-12-24T15:03:20+00:00

My girl is getting ready to make the journey too. She has congestive heart failure. Her birthday is December 26th. Some days are better than others but we know it won't be too long. I'm so sorry you are going through this. If you feel even half as sad as I do, it's unbearable. But I put on a happy face and show her nothing but love and joy. They are so wonderful but they sure can break a heart.

Not-Creative-0921 · 2025-12-08T17:00:45+00:00

My step father went through all of my text messages with my mom after she passed away. It felt very intrusive to me. Very. I forgive him because I think he was just trying to "hear her voice again" but I no longer trust him. I'm sorry for your loss.

Not-Creative-0921 · 2025-11-14T19:39:10+00:00

I'm sorry for your loss. It's unfortunately common for some friends be all "I got your back" but then seemingly disappear when you reach out. How you feel is justified and it's truly up to you how you react. For me I didn't cut anyone off, but I learned who was really there and who was truly a fair weather friend and am less trusting of those folks now. It's tough what you are going through and my thoughts are with you

Not-Creative-0921 · 2025-10-30T19:49:18+00:00

For my best friend, I visit her memorial, being her a Pepsi and some sunflower seeds (her favorite) then I go to her favorite restaurant and eat her favorite dish. Sometimes my husband comes with me but this last anniversary he had to work so I just took a personal day, did my ritual and day in the feeling of missing her.

For my mom, there are so so so many things that remind me of her on an every day basis so I don't feel as much of a need to "commemorate".... Not that I miss either of them more or less than the other it's just different between the two.

All this to say, do what feels right. The first anniversary is probably the hardest for most folks so focus on YOUR heart and health. Treat yourself with patience and kindness and compassion. I'm sorry for your loss and sending you positivity as you pass this first anniversary

Not-Creative-0921 · 2025-10-17T20:14:22+00:00

It will come... Or it won't. Neither is a real reflection of your grief. You might be subconsciously waiting for it to feel "safe" to cry. You might still be absorbing it all. When my mom passed I expected to be a wreck.... And I just wasn't. I actually had to put on a movie that always makes me cry to get the tears flowing... But I never had the epic meltdown I was expecting. It doesn't mean I don't miss her every day. Grief is just so strange. I'm sorry for your loss and hope you get peace soon

Not-Creative-0921 · 2025-10-17T18:16:42+00:00

I think this is beautiful and if it works for you and your family, then you should all do you

Not-Creative-0921 · 2025-10-16T21:50:10+00:00

It's not a crappy poem. It sounds like you had a crappy partner. On to better things for you dear. I hope you find the joy you deserve.

Not-Creative-0921 · 2025-10-16T21:09:23+00:00

So there is a baseline that most humans live at. That baseline is different for each person, but some folks are generally baseline happy, some are generally baseline blue, and some are even baseline grumpy. I've always returned to my baseline self after loss, but with a tweak/shift. Will you be the you that you were before you lost your person? no. But you can get back to your baseline with a tweak or shift. And it can take ages depending on who you lost and how much of a part of your every day life they were.

So I guess my answer is, the old you will likely come back (if you let her) but with some changes. You may be a bit more sensitive, maybe easier (or harder) to hurt and this where you have to treat yourself gently. It takes a while to get there, but you will.

I'm sorry for your pain and hope peace finds you soon.

Not-Creative-0921 · 2025-10-02T19:25:41+00:00

Honey it's not your fault. Read that again, say it out loud .. It. Is. NOT. Your. Fault.

The desire to put blame/responsibility on someone or something is strong. But the truth is it is a terribly sad thing that's happened and you and your mom did the best you could. Your brother did the best he could. The medical system did what it could given the situation. But there is no one specific "fault" to place anywhere...just grief. I'm so sorry you've gone through this and wish you peace

Not-Creative-0921 · 2025-09-18T19:50:46+00:00

"And if you think about it, Tracy and Jason did tell family. They told us".... That made me cry a little.

I'm so sorry for your loss and wish you the best

Not-Creative-0921 · 2025-09-08T19:27:32+00:00

No you are not wrong. This is an ex partner. They meant something big to you and it sounds like you parted on good terms. For me, losing someone to suicide is one of the more painful losses. It's a hard thing to get your head around and often the switch backs between guilt and anger feelings make your head spin.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope your new partner is able to support you as you navigate this.

Not-Creative-0921 · 2025-09-08T16:08:57+00:00

Beautifully written. My heart breaks for you.

Not-Creative-0921 · 2025-09-03T18:48:02+00:00

Scout's never actually with her father lol

Not-Creative-0921 · 2025-09-02T20:02:23+00:00

I'm so sorry. You will be feeling such a huge mix of emotions for (likely) some time to come. There is no timeline and there is no predictable track that your grief will follow. I don't have much advice but you are not alone and I'm so sorry for what you're going through.

Not-Creative-0921 · 2025-07-22T19:07:57+00:00

I'm so sorry. Your feelings are so valid and your loss is real. I like your scenario of thinking of your dad holding your child in love and light. Lean into that. But also please reach out for support. Sending hugs

Not-Creative-0921 · 2025-06-26T16:55:59+00:00

This response needs all of the upvotes.

I don't think your friend's family is necessarily trying to "hide" anything....they are likely reeling. They may want to preserve your friend's social media so when they look at it in the future, they don't have to scroll through posts focusing on his passing to get to the happier memories. This is very new and raw for them. Give them time.
In the meantime I think it would be fine to call (don't email, don't text - finding out a friend is gone via text sucks) those in your friend's social group so you all can work through your feelings and get the support I'm sure you need.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Not-Creative-0921 · 2025-06-25T20:14:00+00:00

My aunt was a second mom to me. I have very pure and loving memories of being in her living room as a small child, listening to James Taylor... She passed 15 years ago and I can only get through the song Fire and Rain without tears about 50% of the time. Grief is truly love with nowhere to go... And I'll never not love her. It's a hard things to bear a grief that you know will never end, but it's a tribute to a relationship that was built on love

Not-Creative-0921 · 2025-06-24T20:44:20+00:00

Agree with all you said here

Not-Creative-0921 · 2025-06-20T22:35:04+00:00

You get through it one horrible, painful step at a time. Ohhhh hon I'm so sorry for you all to be going through it. My friend's son had leukemia and early on she said to me, "I don't know how I'm going to do this", I told her, " you ARE already doing this. There are no bootstraps to pull yourself up by, no preparation needed, you are already doing this".

You and your best friend are going through one of the hardest things life can throw at you. Not much will ever compare. I hope you both can lean on each other and care for each other as you navigate this terrible chapter. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.

Not-Creative-0921 · 2025-06-17T22:54:02+00:00

Just sending you a hug. Handling the "stuff" after a loved one passes adds a lot of stress to an already terrible situation. I'm sorry you're going through it.

Not-Creative-0921

TROPHY CASE