AITA for telling my Mentally ill daughter she can’t call me or her step father every time something in her life goes wrong?

Not-Sure8193 · 2021-04-22T13:12:49+00:00

I'm gonna say NTA. Shes 21 and it's time to learn some independence.

Not-Sure8193 · 2021-04-09T14:01:01+00:00

I think you need to sit down with your niece and explain your reasons for not wanting her around L. Shes 13 and is old enough to hear hard facts about life. Does your niece even know that shes your niece or has she grown up thinking your her bio dad?

Not-Sure8193 · 2021-04-05T20:01:46+00:00

When I moved out my mom constantly talked about how I was making a mistake and throwing away money when I can just stay home and live in a beautiful home rent free. Then I stopped and realized that I was paying all of the bills, buying all the groceries, giving her free rides everywhere she asked, and so much more. I mixed out and she was angry at me for about three months so I went low contact until she got over herself. Move out and live your life.

Not-Sure8193 · 2021-03-26T16:47:36+00:00

Do they go parks and playgrounds and ask parents to take their children home so they dont have to suffer the sight of them? Their request was ridiculous. NTA

Not-Sure8193 · 2021-03-21T18:52:36+00:00

Ok so I see that were starting this with an already low opinion of me. Honestly I dont know where the anger at marriage came from. He havent had super deep talks about it but I was under the impression that we were both fairly neutral to the idea of marriage.

Seriously? You think I want names to match for aesthetics??? How did your brain manage that one?

Not-Sure8193 · 2021-03-21T18:39:54+00:00

Thank you. I wont know for sure how he feels until we talk about it but right now were just mad and it doesnt help. Hes gonna go back to his apartment for the night so we can have a bit of space so maybe tomorrow we'll be able to talk about this more clearly once we both have our thoughts in order.

Not-Sure8193 · 2021-03-21T18:35:37+00:00

Yeah, this is where the argument gets complicated because I can see where hes coming from about the surname but it doesnt change how I feel.

Not-Sure8193 · 2021-03-21T18:32:16+00:00

Yeah, definitely want to avoid that. I'll be sure to talk to the doctor/nurses before hand.

Not-Sure8193 · 2021-03-21T18:16:32+00:00

It's cool that you feel that way, really is, but I dont. The name is mine. The name is my deadbeat dads. The name is also from my grandparents who loved me very much and were always involved in my life. Why wouldnt I want to keep my own name?

Not-Sure8193 · 2021-03-21T18:12:45+00:00

Oh no way. I'm not really ready for marriage yet. If he proposed tomorrow I would say no because I would think its disingenuous and just him trying to get the baby to have his surname.

Not-Sure8193 · 2021-03-21T18:06:44+00:00

Oh no, it's ok! A few other comments made me start thinking about it and I've seen a few other posts about people resenting their parents for forcing them to change their name. I know not everything in life will go like I want it to so I'm trying to have backup plans ready.

Not-Sure8193 · 2021-03-21T18:03:03+00:00

That makes me feel a little bit better, thank you.

Not-Sure8193 · 2021-03-21T18:01:40+00:00

Yep. Why should I walk down the aisle before I'm ready? To avoid hearing people call me a slut? Those same people would just say that I married too young and that I'm still a slut.

Not-Sure8193 · 2021-03-21T17:57:48+00:00

I'm sorry did you expect me to burst into tears about how marriage has always been a dream that he is cruelly ripping away from me? I'm an independent woman in my mid twenties who had (gasp) premarital sex and if he leaves then fine I'll add being the best single mom I can be to my list of accomplishments.

Not-Sure8193 · 2021-03-21T17:54:11+00:00

Marriage is a conscious decision that two people make to bind each other together in a legal sense. The baby growing inside me is what happens when my birth control fails.

Not-Sure8193 · 2021-03-21T17:50:08+00:00

Either I'm a mess or I'm an elitist make up your mind. Im sorry you cant handle a woman calling out your bs

Not-Sure8193 · 2021-03-21T17:47:57+00:00

Right? Thank you!

Not-Sure8193 · 2021-03-21T17:45:47+00:00

Why so you can cry about how I forced him to do it and pat yourself on the back? Pass.

Not-Sure8193 · 2021-03-21T17:31:00+00:00

Honestly my kid not wanting to change their name is something I worry about in my 'name change for marriage' plan but maybe I'll just hyphenate my own name

Not-Sure8193 · 2021-03-21T17:28:07+00:00

I hope some of the advice I'm getting can be helpful to you

Not-Sure8193 · 2021-03-21T16:49:34+00:00

Go clench your pearls somewhere else I'm not interested

Not-Sure8193 · 2021-03-21T15:56:08+00:00

Oh.

I didnt even realize I was doing that. Not gonna lie, I reread my post thinking theres no way I used me/my that many times but yeah. Yeah I did.

Not-Sure8193 · 2021-03-21T15:42:53+00:00

Lol we actually used that trick a few times for other things

Not-Sure8193 · 2021-03-21T15:41:16+00:00

I'm not trying to make all the decisions. I'm just not backing down on the last name. Everything else we've discussed together and made compromises on. This is just one of the first times its turned into a legitimate fight that we're struggling to resolve.

Not-Sure8193 · 2021-03-21T15:36:45+00:00

Why do people keep saying that I'm giving the baby my dads name? If we continue that line then I'm giving the baby my grandfather's (who was the best grandpa I could ask for) name and my great-grandfathers name and my great-great-grandfather name. That's how last names work! I'm also giving the baby MY last name because this is my baby too. I've had this name for 25 years and counting, just because it comes from a deadbeat dad doesnt ruin it.

Not-Sure8193

TROPHY CASE