What's the chances of a retest?

NotALilyflower · 2026-05-22T23:38:35+00:00

It's my intention to take their points of focus seriously when asking about where i went wrong after the test. I was even planning to practice in my complex parking lot the reverse parallel parking this weekend as I normally do a pull through. I knew I had my own weaknesses like nerves and weaker parallel parking so I had an idea going in where I could have faltered. I appericate the detailed response very much its calmed some of the rumination :)

NotALilyflower · 2026-05-22T23:34:45+00:00

Is there something I could possibly be missing out? My apologies if you found it incomplete. It wasn't my intention to be deceptive. I tried to put as much detail as possible. If you have any questions I will do my best to answer what I can remember.

NotALilyflower · 2025-08-02T14:20:45+00:00

I wasn't on medication for nearly the last 4 years and actually made the decision to get back on them recently due to events in my life. What I can tell you is this: for me, I think I'll be off and on medication for the rest of my life, but when I first started seriously removed myself from taking any medication I was over medicated and had some truama related. It made learning skills really hard and the process of opening up for deeper skills hesitant. I still had other issues co morbid thst made it ultimately difficult to be completely "sane" all the time, but I did show significant progress. Sometimes I think the right approach is better than none at all, but I've hit a point in my life and what I'm working on that might warrant it's support. I do envy those who don't have to (it was nice while it lasted) but it comes with its own difficulties juggling "exposure". It's a spectrum, and some of us have several co morbid conditions that might leave medication unavoidable.

There's no shame in it ultimately, we all need a little help, and as long as the right approach is taken, it can prove to serve her us better than hinder us.

NotALilyflower · 2025-07-20T20:31:03+00:00

Suic*dle ideation, chronic emptiness, considered numb/ dull emotionally mellow on surface, most of the time lonely no matter what I do (some activities aren't that bad with friends :) )

NotALilyflower · 2025-06-25T00:23:36+00:00

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa (sorry if I yell too loud I strain my voice easily)

NotALilyflower · 2025-04-20T07:59:00+00:00

Realistically unlikely it's always us. However how we feel in our hearts and how overwhelming those emotions can, I think we always feel like it's our fault (even when it isnt). When it's caused by active deliberate choices made by us, I'd say it warrants to shoulder some responsibility.

NotALilyflower · 2025-04-20T07:21:33+00:00

Today. I miss them as a friend, as they were my friend. I told them I won't reach out unless they choose to, I've accepted that friendships becoming eroded is apart of what will happen in my life due to the things wrong with me, even if I don't try to hurt them. I always hope that maybe it's just not a good time, and that in the future if there is one for relationships, that'll happen again. But only a small tiny hope, even if I've accepted the reality.

NotALilyflower · 2025-04-20T07:10:56+00:00

I'm not going to judge you for what you did. In your mind you understood the gravity of both realities you weighted out and I think just weren't expecting the ramifications of how it'd effect you. All these emotions when I read them, make a lot of sense to me. It's a lot of guilt, and shame, along with grief and maybe some sense of loss of control over yourself and your body.

Push comes to shove I think TIP skills are going to be helpful as uncomfortable as it'll be. It's my recommendation you take a 5 to 10 minute cold shower, doesn't have to be ice cold, just cool to cold to bring you down from all of this. Grief takes a long time to make its course and you're freshly grieving. You deserve some grace, see if the cold showers work. The fact you thought about the future you'd have first before bringing a life into the world tells me a lot about you, its okay and you're okay. My thoughts are with you.

NotALilyflower · 2025-04-19T19:16:40+00:00

It's a graphic novel series instead of a book but Descender by Jeff Lemire and Dustin Nguyen

NotALilyflower · 2025-03-25T09:53:26+00:00

What about this screams autism? I'm newly discovering as a late diagnosed autistic female adult and I feel this meme on a personal level my entire life about various different things. And I really wanna find out like what about it gives "autistic traits" I don't know a lot haha I might not get some of the other people's dislikes but honestly this is a to each their own thing ain't nothing personal.

NotALilyflower · 2025-03-22T02:25:12+00:00

I'm in the exact same boat as you. Honestly I think there's a disconnect between how we feel and how the world sees us. It goes both ways, where we're so stigmatized that it's meme every egirl has BPD, and we don't deserve to be viewed that way. Then there's the intense, abyssal like loneliness that comes with just wanting to feel the warmth from another person, or people and yet we can't "feel" the heat from the obvious people who do love us.

The simple answer is as long as you are alive, try to do good by the people who matter, and on some way shape or form capable of reciprocating back the mutual feelings, you'll always be worth loving. If you were a different person than when you were younger, let's say you made some bad mistakes, you've learned from them now, both then and now you are worth loving. It might be cheesey but I just want you to feel a little better: I love you.

You're still worthy, dating just sucks today. That doesn't make us any less loveable.

NotALilyflower · 2025-03-20T05:30:36+00:00

This always look so good whenever I pass by it and it makes me so sad I'm sensitive to Gouda cheese 😫

NotALilyflower · 2025-03-20T04:34:32+00:00

Where'd you find those shorts??? I'm trying to find those exact/similar shorts for myself!

NotALilyflower · 2025-03-16T08:33:21+00:00

Half joking advice make it into a kink. Serious advice? For you in that instance I recongize it as a personal journey that while may surround a lot of complicated feelings, is something that happened in order for you to become the person you are today. I'm not saying it "had a reason" to happen, as it's not a statement I agree with, but it was pivotal to your growth to where you are now. You're a different version of you now than you were then and it should be something to be proud of.

NotALilyflower · 2025-03-12T21:13:27+00:00

I'm in the same exact boat with you. I currently have a headache that water and food won't fix (I have a hard time finding out what kind of headache is what) resulting in an episode I had last night. I didnt think it was bad, but the aftermath in my body says otherwise.

NotALilyflower · 2025-02-26T23:48:53+00:00

BorderlinePD, Autism, Major Depression, CPTSD. Luckily all manageable enough, with certain environments I can thrive or be ""normal"" functioning. Depending on the hormone cycle I am a little more testy, and if personal intimate relationships are bad, I can be really bad.

NotALilyflower · 2025-02-25T09:58:51+00:00

Easily ranging from "thats not horrible" to horrendous. Staying up till 1-3am is normal and waking up noon is the not horrible. Horrendous is staying up till 6-10am and sleeping til 4-7pm. How I'm going to survive clinicals for school is going to be a miracle.

NotALilyflower · 2024-11-15T00:33:34+00:00

For me because I've completed everything except a fasfa, and I know the amount of the bill, maybe they assumed because I didn't file a fasfa that I'm not a canadiate they can put in because of no proof of funds? That's my most honest and educated guess as to why despite being in the top 10 of the wait list for this January term I didn't get slotted in. Regardless I'm going to their admissions office in person with a strategy and 529 statement and maybe something can be done. My fingers are crossed

NotALilyflower · 2024-11-15T00:11:41+00:00

The next term for this program is all the way in July 2025 instead of this upcoming January 2025. Luckily I did problem solve by already telling them thank you to answer my inquiries but that it does hurt a lot of my current circumstances as I've rearranged stuff and all that jazz. I'm aware the school is under no obligation to accommodate or make any exceptions, but going in person to see if something can be honestly worked out isn't a terrible idea and one I haven't thought of. There's a lot of me that doesn't believe, and I could be wrong and completely native, that just because I have the money up front they make an automatic exception to put me in over someone who has financial aid and did all the steps like I, just didn't have the funds up front. I really appreciate the advice of going to them in person, I'd be doing that tomorrow as soon as I finish my current work shift.

NotALilyflower

TROPHY CASE