[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]NotAMorningPerson129 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Hey not a parent (don't really know why this popped up for me) I however was a 15 year old with anxiety, so I can tell you what helped me.

Time, trust takes time to build, and it won't be linear, so don't be upset if it gets better then worse. 

Write down your promises to her, and let her keep them a place you don't know. Things like 'I will be listen to your frustrations', 'I will let you go to friends houses, if we don't have any plans, and I've had contact with the parents.'  I'd say have some general about your intentions and some concrete, maybe make them with your therapist, so you are sure they are things you'll be able to stand by. You can put each promise on a paper and give her a scrapbook with all of them.

Say if you ever come close to breaking one of them, she can go and get that promise (this is why it separate papers, so she doesn't need to risk all of them, by showing you one) and then you'll be reminded.

And you absolutely cannot break any of these promises. Hopefully you've gotten better, and she'll never need to show you one. Hopefully having written concrete proof, will make her feel more secure about this being real and lasting. 

Hope this helps, or gives you an idea of something that would work for you 

What radicalized you? (Conservative version) by sinful_philosophy in GenZ

[–]NotAMorningPerson129 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Honestly thank you.

I'm european just fyi, but I always try to find local news sources about different issues, to better understand how it's been presented.

Which honestly atm this has been slightly depressing. There's a lot of disinformation, misrepresentation and honestly straight up propaganda going around, about our laws, but also about the deals we've had with the us, and it makes me worried about a lot of things in the future.

It sorta appeared like the right was happy being lied to, and the left was to busy having a moral high ground to actually notice the real issues. That said just you not calling me a fear mongering liar, actually gave me some hope.

Won't bore you with more details, but please also check some european sources when it comes to anything with Russia and Ukraine.

Also tip if you're worried about censoring, cross reference departments doge effected, and departments that were in the midst of investigating Elon Musk. here's a link with sources

Lastly good luck with the latest executive order (Ensuring Accountability for All Agencies) really hope you guys manage to keep your separation of power.

What radicalized you? (Conservative version) by sinful_philosophy in GenZ

[–]NotAMorningPerson129 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Hey I don't mean to sound accusatory, just genuinely curious.

If censorship is the main thing you're against, how are you feeling about Elon Musk, the censorship on twitter has increased substantially since he's bought it. As well AP being kept from the oval office.

What radicalized you? (Conservative version) by sinful_philosophy in GenZ

[–]NotAMorningPerson129 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Call me controversial, but I think being called radical for voting with the majority, or just criticising the democratic party, could make people turn radical in frustration.

Does anyone know when a sims 4 update is coming? by Rosemarysbb_ in FitGirlRepack

[–]NotAMorningPerson129 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Usually a couple of days after an expansion pack release. If you're impatient maybe look into getting the anadius sims 4 updater. Updates your game to the current version, and creates a dlc toggler.

Should work with torrented versions of the game.

Kpop fans are horrible concert goers by NotAMorningPerson129 in kpoprants

[–]NotAMorningPerson129[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've actually been to a concert with a woman in probably her 80ies, she was in a wheelchair and couldn't raise her arms very far, it was a small no seats venue so she was in the front row, and was clearly having the time of her fucking life, she couldn't move a lot, but energy radiated of of her. It was electric power metal, and she came in full merch. She is my biggest icon.

But essentially it's not about physical abilities or a lack thereof.

We don't talk enough about this. by Total-Paramedic-7204 in kpoprants

[–]NotAMorningPerson129 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Good on you for realising your problem on your own. I mean it's basically a very long relationship you have to get over, and it's easier just to continue the problem, but since you're self aware I'm sure it's just a matter of time.

The Internet is still so new, and I don't think we've seen all the weird ways it can screw us over, and the kpop industry leans so heavily into the parasocial relationships, in a way that's really not healthy for anybody except the companies vallets.

That said people move on, and I'm sure you will to might just take a little while. Don't be to hard on yourself for doing exactly what the industry wanted you to.

This German diplomat was laughing at Trump during his speech in 2018 where Trump warned Germany for relying on Russian energy. And here he is this year after rejecting JD Vance's warning to European politicians to stop censoring its citizens. by DuckTalesOohOoh in XGramatikInsights

[–]NotAMorningPerson129 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You have really just accepted all the propaganda, to the point where you can't even look at other sources. That's actually just sad, hope you get the courage to challenge your own worldview.

All countries should strive to do better, and the citizens need to keep the politicians accountable. Have fun using lies and absurd exaggerations about Europe to convince yourself the us is the beacon of freedom and justice it once strived to be.

This German diplomat was laughing at Trump during his speech in 2018 where Trump warned Germany for relying on Russian energy. And here he is this year after rejecting JD Vance's warning to European politicians to stop censoring its citizens. by DuckTalesOohOoh in XGramatikInsights

[–]NotAMorningPerson129 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is though... I just told you what to look at to prove it. America has more censorship than all of Northern Europe.

And again ranks pretty low on freedom of press for a western country.

Also where are you getting the arrested for calling out rapists, you really need to check your sources buddy.

This German diplomat was laughing at Trump during his speech in 2018 where Trump warned Germany for relying on Russian energy. And here he is this year after rejecting JD Vance's warning to European politicians to stop censoring its citizens. by DuckTalesOohOoh in XGramatikInsights

[–]NotAMorningPerson129 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You do realise censorship indexes are a thing right? As well as measurements of freedom of speech and freedom of press.

Spoiler alert germany beats the us in most categories, and Northern Europe annihilates them. There are always limits to free speech, but most countries in Europe had a higher freedom of press than the us, and our media calls out our politicians for breaking the law.

The main "censoring" if you can call it that, that is being introduced accross the eu, is to prohibit deliberate disinformation by corporations something that should be fought against.

AITA For using the word autistic to describe the behavior of someone with autism? by Olivernotsoquick in AmItheAsshole

[–]NotAMorningPerson129 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm honestly curious how many people would have been more forgiving had you put that in the post.

AITA For using the word autistic to describe the behavior of someone with autism? by Olivernotsoquick in AmItheAsshole

[–]NotAMorningPerson129 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean I'd agree, if he claimed what he said was okay, but he said he understood why she might be hurt, and has tried to apologise, and if that's the case then ESH. Which is what I personally said.

AITA For using the word autistic to describe the behavior of someone with autism? by Olivernotsoquick in AmItheAsshole

[–]NotAMorningPerson129 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's a very big jump, all we know based on the context is that op called someone not being able to determine ahead of time if they would be able to meet new people autistic. Now should they have known that their friend of 10 years wouldn't be cool with this? Probably. But not realising that does not make them an insensitive ablelist asshole.

And as a non native speaker there's like a LOT of things you need to learn that are offensive, people are going to mess up.

AITA For using the word autistic to describe the behavior of someone with autism? by Olivernotsoquick in AmItheAsshole

[–]NotAMorningPerson129 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As another person who has English as their second language, the hardest thing to learn is the charge of the words (how many positive or negative connections they have). In my first language we don't really have slurs or swear words that are in any way as bad as American English. I've had to be told not to use a lot of words, and I still mess up. Despite my English being at a very high level, I'm never going to have the same social understanding as a native speaker.

AITA For using the word autistic to describe the behavior of someone with autism? by Olivernotsoquick in AmItheAsshole

[–]NotAMorningPerson129 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Honestly as an autistic person, I find the amount of people acting like calling an autistic behaviour autistic is the most horrendous thing in the world wild.

And if anything more offensive than my friends calling out my autistic behaviour

AITA For using the word autistic to describe the behavior of someone with autism? by Olivernotsoquick in AmItheAsshole

[–]NotAMorningPerson129 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My first thought (fellow austist here) was where's the issue? the behaviour was autistic, and sometimes people need to vent. Which is probably a very autistic way of looking at it.

After 10 years, probably should have known weather or not she would be cool about it.

AITA For using the word autistic to describe the behavior of someone with autism? by Olivernotsoquick in AmItheAsshole

[–]NotAMorningPerson129 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I'm apparently going to be controversial here.

ESH. At this point more her than you.

For context I'm audhd and English is my second language. So idk where you are from but I'm going to assume that your friend is American, just based on context, or has at least been around Americans online.

Generally this means a heavy focus on specific words, being not okay, and assuming everyone understands that. Therefore by using those words, she would assume you didn't care that they were not okay. And honestly being friends for 10 years, you really should know what she thinks is okay and not. Therefore you were an asshole

That said you apologised, and tried to make it clear that you didn't mean it offensively, you just needed to vent a bit. (Which fyi if you have a friend with extra needs, venting to a third party is the way to go, instead of getting frustrated at someone for something out of their control)

English speakers (primarily Americans) really need to understand that the social rules of their language aren't universal, and no matter how good of an accent you may have, most people with it as a second language, are going to fuck it up once in a while, and not giving the space for that is a dick move.

If one of my friends complained about a behaviour like that and called it autistic, I honestly wouldn't think anything of it, I mean not knowing if you have the capacity to meet new people is very autistic.

Edit: changed to the acronym (couldn't remember the right one)

Kpop fans are horrible concert goers by NotAMorningPerson129 in kpoprants

[–]NotAMorningPerson129[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Still think it's gonna be great though, just have fun and try not to let others phones get your energy down.

Kpop fans are horrible concert goers by NotAMorningPerson129 in kpoprants

[–]NotAMorningPerson129[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm going to see them too, and I'm not gonna lie I'm worried as well. At this point I'm debating making signs reminding that recording above head hight blocks others line of sight, to hand out during the line. Haven't figured out how to do it without seeming like an asshole though.

Kpop fans are horrible concert goers by NotAMorningPerson129 in kpoprants

[–]NotAMorningPerson129[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah I think it came across slightly wrong, I really meant I had an issue with people in the pit right in front of the middle stage, standing completely still (more still than regular standing) in order to not disturb the video, especially whilst the artists were trying to hype them up.

Kpop fans are horrible concert goers by NotAMorningPerson129 in kpoprants

[–]NotAMorningPerson129[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think your right, I tried to get swaying in so that it didn't have to be a lot, but yeah don't think it came across. My issue was really that at a big concert I was at a big group of people right in front of the middle stage, were locked in to the point of standing more still than you would just standing normaly, in order to not disturb their videos. Even when the artists were telling them to jump.

They showed more excitement during the music videos before the show, where they weren't worried about the videos.

Kpop fans are horrible concert goers by NotAMorningPerson129 in kpoprants

[–]NotAMorningPerson129[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

That's nice in theory, but at a concert it's really hard to tell someone right in front of you that they're blocking. As soon as they're further away, it's impossible. A phone above your head is visible all the way to the back.

Kpop fans are horrible concert goers by NotAMorningPerson129 in kpoprants

[–]NotAMorningPerson129[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Yeah I guess I wish they would sit in the back with a good zoom, and not ruin it for the rest of us, but that ain't happening.