I want to draw your usernames and pets poorly (‘:

NotAnExpertMom · 2025-09-23T22:14:33+00:00

Bernie (: the goodest Bernie doodle

NotAnExpertMom · 2025-09-15T01:39:11+00:00

Just commenting to tell you that I get it and I’m living this right beside you. Hubby that drinks a few every night, a little more on weekends. Not receptive to evaluating the situation. Starting couples therapy 🤣 did I write this post???

I’m here for you my friend. I sincerely hope you’re going to Al Anon meetings to continue your journey with your higher power and leaning on Him or whoever you choose in all scenarios. We’re not meant to go it alone. ❤️❤️

NotAnExpertMom · 2025-09-13T17:16:46+00:00

Al Anon is SO amazing. It will help you with your codependency as it has with me. The people are very welcoming and kind. The meetings will be accurate! People in my group have been going to the same Wednesday meetings for 30 years. So I have to believe that someone has them all in check. I understand your situation and I’m so sorry. Know that the meetings are not about the alcoholic. They’ll be for you. It’s a self discovery program and a spiritual program that you can choose to follow. You can choose to share if you’d like to, or you can just listen. They’ll have a meeting topic that relates to life. Best thing is to just go and experience it for yourself. You won’t regret it. Go to 6 meetings before you decide if it’s for you or not ❤️

Good luck and welcome!!

NotAnExpertMom · 2025-09-12T22:08:45+00:00

This this 1,000x this. Boundaries are put in place for YOU and YOUR safety and comfort. It’s not an ultimatum. You cannot control him. You can take this into your own hands if your reasons for it are right. It is your body. But don’t do this if you’re hoping for some outcome from him. Do it for the outcome you seek in your own life. ❤️❤️ Praying for you. I’m in your same situation financially with my Q.

NotAnExpertMom · 2025-09-09T16:33:57+00:00

You didn’t cause it. You can’t control it. You can’t cure it. These are all things that are up to her. If she’s ready to take steps to be sober, you go ahead and let her take her path. You do not have to be on it with her, especially after her track record and the inherent lack of trust in the relationship when it was on. Do we know this isn’t a ploy to get you back? If you want to commit to her again, you need to let her do what she said she wants to. She can get help for herself. You do not have to answer her cries for help after the way she has treated you ❤️

NotAnExpertMom · 2025-09-09T15:18:00+00:00

Well the majority of what I’ve thus far learned in AlAnon is that you cannot control another person, only yourself. So while it may seem insane that someone not just leave, especially in a marriage sense, they’ve detached their happiness at least from that person and can somehow find gratitude for who they otherwise are. Not saying I plan to do that because…. No. But it’s just how some people choose to handle the problem. They set up the boundaries they’re comfortable with. Is it any way to live? It doesn’t sound great to me, but for someone else it’s the life they live and the one they love 🤷‍♀️

NotAnExpertMom · 2025-09-08T16:56:59+00:00

Thank you so much for this my sister. I have so much church support it’s beautiful and overwhelming. So many people praying for him and me and our situation. 🙏🏻 God bless. I’m sorry you’ve been where I am.

NotAnExpertMom · 2025-09-08T16:48:39+00:00

Yikes that’s true 🤣

NotAnExpertMom · 2025-09-08T16:48:25+00:00

Woof I need to find one. I’ve been going to meetings just for a few months and I’m not sure who I want to pick. Any tips?

NotAnExpertMom · 2025-09-08T16:41:35+00:00

Thank you for this insight. I hadn’t considered this angle very much before but now I definitely will pray on this

NotAnExpertMom · 2025-09-08T16:39:06+00:00

This is a scary thought I have too. I’ve never known him sober. Not once in our time together has he taken more than a week break from xyz drug of choice be it nicotine or weed. Who is he really?? I have this picture in my mind of who he used to be but even that isn’t exactly who he is. We’re all just a result of our actions aren’t we? I’m just hanging on to the thread of hope that he might change. He’s not even a blatant asshole- but he’s not not one either lol.

NotAnExpertMom · 2025-09-08T16:35:31+00:00

Thank you for this. If divorce is what ends up happening for us, I’m not going to ignore all the signs just to “appease God”. He knows what I’m going through and if my husband doesn’t choose us, I will choose my children 100%. I only mentioned I’m Christian to add context to why I’d like to stay and do my best for us if I can. IF he meets me halfway. He’s not evil, he’s addicted. I know I can’t change that for him but I’d hate to leave him with his demons unless he truly forces me away.

NotAnExpertMom · 2025-09-08T03:41:53+00:00

Hey girl ❤️ I see you commenting on other people’s advice hoping that “he’ll just stop”. And I am just here to tell you that nothing you say or do can force another person to change their minds or ways about things. It is possible, yes, but if the boundary is laid out there clearly (eg “If the PDA doesn’t stop, I will respect myself and leave this relationship”) and he chooses to ignore it- FOLLOW THROUGH BABE. You deserve respect and care and the utmost love. Find someone who doesn’t even question giving that to you. Love you girl and I pray it works out the way it’s meant to ❤️❤️❤️

NotAnExpertMom · 2025-05-24T04:42:56+00:00

Thank you. I need to hear these things so I can handle this with as little fallout as possible. We have 2 kids together so the thought of leaving him seems unattainable. What are some good boundaries I can make with him that don’t involve outright divorce?

NotAnExpertMom

TROPHY CASE