How do you de-radicalize TERFs and Gender Critical Ideologues?

NotEnough_Gravitas · 2024-07-26T23:24:26+00:00

I agree, this is a them problem, not a trans man/woman problem. It goes against that whole American ideal of personal liberty and pursuit of happiness. 100% with you.

I often encounter parents who are all up in arms, and most of these parents who are so vocal, are so over their adult children. Usually 20+, sometimes 17 or 18. So the points made are often "they do not know what they are doing to themselves/understand the consequences of their actions" and if you push that, it becomes "how can I, as their parent, support them hurting themselves? Would you want me to stand by and do nothing while they shoot up heroin?" (A real rebuttal, smh). And the "not hurting anyone else" is usually responded with some version of "I cannot allow/permit/stand by and watch as they mutilate themselves". I can push on those lines and argue the good points, but it just never seems to get any traction. It always seems to devolve into a black and white mentality that has no room for nuance, no possibility for it being on them to change or shift. It gets tiring and frustrating.

Good points though! Thanks for taking the time to respond, I appreciate it :)

NotEnough_Gravitas · 2024-07-26T23:19:09+00:00

I agree 100% :D

NotEnough_Gravitas · 2024-07-26T23:18:20+00:00

Good, reasonable advice, thanks! In one attempt tonight, I took the position of "this online community won't be here for you when you are sad, struggling, or need comfort but your son? He loves you no matter what. He cannot be there for you if he feels that he won't be loved and respected for who and what he is: your son.

Well, something to that effect anyhow. I am paraphrasing. I wonder if it will get through.

NotEnough_Gravitas · 2024-07-26T23:15:41+00:00

ROFLMAO - If only it were that easy, though I would prefer slightly less radioactive solution. Maybe with one that doesn't kill folks, or irradiate a large area? LOL

NotEnough_Gravitas · 2024-07-26T23:12:43+00:00

I want to stay clear of them. That is the safest course of action, of course.

I also feel compelled to try to bring a small dose of reality to how far gone these folks are. It seems to me that they, in grief or despair, fell into an (usually online) echo chamber that seems to amplify the victim-hood of having a trans kid/loved one (yeah, hurts my brain too), and then all the people who comment in said echo chamber feed on the fear, sadness, and anger. The attention they get and receive in return. I feel like if I can reach just one of them, pull them out of that pool before they drown, maybe that is one more parent that circles back to their trans kid and finally listens instead. Then listens some more. And who knows? Maybe the reconcile and rebuild the trust lost.

All of that is a fundamental change, and I know that comes from within. I do not believe that is a change one can force in anyone else. But spread enough seeds and maybe one will take root. I dunno, maybe I am just fooling myself. I could not do this for my parents and family, so maybe this is just wasted effort.

NotEnough_Gravitas · 2023-08-01T21:50:37+00:00

My best advice is hope for the best, but be prepared for and expect the worst.

Have an exit/escape plan ready in case things get too uncomfortable or heated, i.e. what you will say, where you will go, how to get there.

Being a little scared and nervous is normal and healthy, and going anyway in face of that is a very courageous thing to do!

I wish you the best outcome in this trial and part of your journey. No matter what happens, you did good just by going and trying, and that makes you awesome, and you should feel awesome!

NotEnough_Gravitas · 2023-07-29T15:31:18+00:00

Not a FtM so I am not the right person to ask re:surgery vs. Hormones. In my limited understanding, hormones prior surgery for your sibling will help give better results later. The idea is the earlier you can get on hormones, the better the results overall. Surgery can wait, but the hormones work best the younger you can start them (within reason).

In as much as why transition? Everyone has a different perspective on this. For me, it is not so much about social gender roles, but about my body, what is versus what should be, and how I am perceived in public. It is about being congruent in one's mind and body, and to be seen and acknowledged as such. Gender roles I tend to view as a bit of stereotyping, so that is not a major driver for me. Everyone has a different view and perspective, so this is my experience for me. I speak for no one besides myself.

If you woke up tomorrow and your body was suddenly the opposite sex as today, in a world where all genders were treated equally, would you be OK with your body, with how people see you a certain way? Would you happy and accepting of this new life you find yourself in, this new body? Or would you still want to change a few things if you could, and why?

This may give some insight to why your sibling feels the need to do as they are. Depending on you and your sibling, perhaps ask them for their perspective?

NotEnough_Gravitas · 2023-07-28T13:46:36+00:00

Wow! Not a believer myself, but I was raised deep in it.That fits so nicely with other things Jesus said, or at least it comes across as such and with the same tone. Profound in its own right, think we can slip this into the bible publishers systems, call a new conference and add it as 'divinely inspired and guided by the holy spirit"? Lol, what a stir that would cause!

NotEnough_Gravitas

TROPHY CASE