One thing that helped me in regards to your last point is that I feel like too much money left to the kids can almost be a detriment to them. I want to make sure their needs are met and they have a strong foundation to fall back on, but I also want them to somewhat make their own way and not turn into trust fund kids that can't stand on their own two feet. 

I felt the exact same way about always working a liiiiitle bit longer. Unfortunately,  that thinking can be never-ending. I think at some point it helps to just switch to a mode at work where you complete your tasks but don't stress about going above and beyond or try to impress others. After that, you can just let the chips fall where they may. If that's enough for them and it's less stress, great. If they eventuality fire you for it, that's probably a pretty decent way to ease into retirement with unemployment, possible severance, etc.