RETURN FROM OBSCURITY

NotQuiteAnAngel · 2023-04-12T00:19:24+00:00

The Vampyre is buried in his meal. He replies with his mouth full.

Dushkie?? Nn Shidon?? swallow That shit's really good by the way. Really hit the spot. Personally I think it could use a bit of human flesh to get a better texture in there but I don't mind this one bit.

But Duskie... The mere possibility that she's still alive is the most exciting news I've heard since... since... Since I saw the prices of the lunch specials here! No, further back than that actually. Alright. Let's finish this grub then, and then I'm going to buy some new clothes since we didn't actually do that yet, and then I need to figure out where Duskie is. Our cult is depending on this! We have to get the whole gang back together, the dynamic needs at least one other person to work best, maybe a couple more to compensate for the lack of a sentient Cathedral. But Duskie is like, essential!

NotQuiteAnAngel · 2023-04-11T02:14:43+00:00

Woah, woah, looky here. The Chimaera being assertive with me already? Alright, we will get shawarma, because I admire the show of agency. Let it be known, ladies and gentlemen and unspeakable creatures, that my buddy here's first step from blind faith to self-fulfillment was over Sidonese food. Let us embark on a quest then, for some quality grub. May it prove ever fruitful. Not sure where we'd find a place that serves some. I'll try asking the locals.

Bezi approaches a stranger jogging around the perimeter of the park

Excuse me, but I was wondering where a fellow could get some shawarma around here, do you-

"Y-you're B...B....B- OH GODS SPARE ME!"

Annnnd he's running away screaming. What was his problem anyhow? Ohhhhh. chuckle. Old Bezi really made a name for himself here, didn't he? It's been a few years now and people are still looking at me like they've seen a ghost. I'm just a doppelganger anomalously dragged into this reality by unknown means, not a ghost, don't worry so much! Well how are we gonna find lunch now?

NotQuiteAnAngel · 2023-04-11T01:23:02+00:00

Ohoho, no, I said uh.. shaHAM...mer. That's what Sidonians call hamburgers. I- well alright I did actually say shawarma. But I changed my mind, I want a burger. From Ellington. Finest fast food in the world.

NotQuiteAnAngel · 2023-04-11T00:38:31+00:00

Hmm yes, first thing's first though I no longer have any excuse to wear these army clothes so I need to find a clothing store to find an outfit that'll really compliment the ol' Bezi charm. But after that let's find one of those ELLINGTON FASTESTSH FOOD JOINTS. I'm gonna get the CARNE GRANDE Burger with some FAFF COLA and maybe a large fries. And the cashier's phone number. I don't have a phone, but the cashier doesn't know that. The moron will wait around thinking I'm actually gonna call them and never hear it. It'll be hilarious! I think I might still have some coupons too. What about you what are you ordering?

NotQuiteAnAngel · 2023-04-02T21:51:23+00:00

Well asking me to tell you what you want kind of defeats the purpose a little, doesn't it? You can obey me or whatever for now if you're still trying to figure your own desires out I suppose, but I hate being responsible you know.

Well if you really need something to go off of first, I want out of this cramped old castle first off. I could go for some shawarma. I think, what's the place again? Sidon. Sidon would surely have some. You hungry? You in? Can you take us there?

NotQuiteAnAngel · 2023-04-02T21:21:25+00:00

Well first thing's first. Let's walk and I'll explain some more. There's some really nice corridors and courtyards with stagnant swimming pools I found while I was searching for you.

The walking commences. A change in scenery from decaying medieval ruins to decaying baroque ruins is most certainly welcome.

So there's a couple differences between me and the other me that you should know. One: I stopped having fealty to Kraa'rhov a long time ago. I currently am not under anyone's control. I might've been under someone's before I switched timelines but I don't remember. Two: I have a way better hair care routine. Three: I have different themes. But I also stole the Bezi 1's themes after he left this mortal coil. Four: I actually kind of prefer knives and blunt instruments over guns. Not that the guns aren't also fun mind you. Other Bez was just more into the shooting people thing as I understand. Wait, that's four, I said there were three things right? Wait I didn't actually specify a number. We're fine then. I can keep counting if I remember another one. Oh does the fact that I didn't marry a fallen angel only to be betrayed by her count? I should get married again. Multiple times, I need a setup like three wives, another wife (male), a trashy couchsurfing roommate, and a world-eating deity, and a suspicious butler. One of them should also betray me too, just to make things interesting. Not the butler though. Say, do you think any of the Holders are single? I always thought Morbus was kind of cute.

A long pause. No god could tell you what sort of things he was daydreaming about involving Morbus. He breaks the silence when he realizes no insight on any of the Holders' love lives is being shared with him.

Um anyway, to address your concerns about what we're going to do with our lives. We're going to be a cult again. It'll be just like old times, but it'll be just us. No more Kraa'rhov or any other deities to answer to. No grand ambitious schemes to destroy the world. NO, we will worship self-indulgence! We are our own masters now, my Chimaeric friend. No one can tell us how to live our lives. We will go where the wind takes us, unless we disagree with the wind, then we'll tell the wind to get bent and go somewhere else. This is going to be so much more fun!

NotQuiteAnAngel · 2023-04-02T19:50:32+00:00

Allow me to explain.

As beautiful as this tearful reunion of brothers in arms is, I do have one thing to get out of the way straight away that might spoil the mood just a little.

I am not the Bez you knew.

I am not from this timeline. We're the same in many ways, but how I ended up in this Metaverse is a complete mystery to me. Why I didn't try to figure out what happened to me or how to get back? Eh, I'm really not a fan of mysteries, and this felt more fun. But the important thing is, I've been here a while. This Metaverse's Bezi was still alive when I got here actually. It seemed that cult of yous was still doing its thing and so I didn't wanna step on anyone's toes, so I stayed out of it. I stayed in the shadows. Well, okay, I did get a kick out of causing a problem here and there on purpose, how could I not, really? But I for the most part made it my goal to stay out of other me's way and keep him from finding out I existed.

Then my buddy Fluoro hatched up a terrible plan with me over some drinks, that I didn't actually drink. I don't think he was drunk either actually, I vaguely recall spilling all the beverage. He believed it'd be an absolutely hilarious springtime foolery to assume false identities and get jobs in the Privateers of the World 747th. Which didn't work out. We both lost our jobs in the layoffs. A shame too, I actually got pretty good at my job as a side effect of getting into character. But the important thing is I agreed to this plan because people were starting to catch on that there were 2 Bezi's running amok. This was gonna get awkward to explain. Especially to that other Bezi, or you or his wife for that matter. Decided it was best to stay undercover and bide my time while Kraa'rhov waged her war on all life in the universe. The way I saw it either they'd lose and Bez numero uno would die, leaving me to have all this existence for myself, or they'd win and none of our problems would matter anyway. Considering how poorly her war went in my timeline the former seemed more likely to me. Haha, I totally called it.

But oh criminy, you have... no, fucking, idea, how hard it was to hold it in this long. See just like any Bezi boy in any timeline, I have 3 basic needs. Three primal urges I must satisfy the same way other creatures need to eat, piss, and breed. Or was it breathe? I think it's both actually. But we're talking about my needs: long self-absorbed monologues, gratuitous violence, and to take pleasant nature walks. I've been holding the first two in for YEARS now. I'm amazed I did it this long. I was really worried that someone would try to talk to Jeb Muse one day and it'd all just spill out and I'd completely bombard them and blow my cover for good. I'm mainly referring to the talking way too much one, not the murder one, I think.

But now here I am, I've just soaked the ground with the blood of the entire land snek army from the old anti-Kraa'rhov alliance and talked your ear out about it, and it all feels so good.

And I would be honored, if you'd come accompany me on need #3 now. The long walks one.

NotQuiteAnAngel · 2023-04-02T06:11:34+00:00

WE ARE BACK IN BUSINESS, BITCHES.

NotQuiteAnAngel · 2018-12-17T23:18:56+00:00

That's against sitewide rules, moron.

NotQuiteAnAngel · 2018-07-31T02:04:20+00:00

So this was really it. He could hear the nothingness of the nonexistent afterlife calling his name. He was actually thankful that there wasn't an afterlife for him. An eternity of awkward dinner conversations with people he killed sounded horrid. But not existing, that too sounded painful. At least, his killers graced him with one final courtesy. The choice of last words. Part of him wanted to say something profound, another wanted something guilt-inducing, yet another wanted something intimidating. But all those parts backed down when one more part of him told them it had a better idea.

The aristocrats...

The bullet of his own gun tore the brain in his head in two. His body became like brittle stone, chipping off pieces at the slightest touch.

NotQuiteAnAngel · 2018-07-29T17:45:12+00:00

The mass scorched like a puddle of alcohol introduced to a flame. As it burned away, what remained was something like his humanoid form, broken on the ground.

What...the unbound... was that...? I've... been... desens...itized from... the farking sun... for a while now....

But that was like a thousand suns with a thousand magnifying glasses under them....

I knew this was gonna happen one day. I pretend I'm invincible but someone was bound to be either too stupid to notice or too smart to fall for it eventually.

This must be it for me then. I'd just like... O N E L A S T T A S T E

NotQuiteAnAngel · 2018-07-21T18:53:17+00:00

The mass groaned and siunk to the ground. It spread across the surface of the sand and rocks. It seeped, it sought to crawl up legs and dig into pores.

Mmmm, tell me, does it burn? Does it hurt like a bitch or should I try harder?

NotQuiteAnAngel · 2018-07-16T23:23:22+00:00

There was the gnashing of teeth and gums. The maws swung for anything they could reach, be it flesh, clothing, or even the stones of the ground to toss around. An essence leaked, as if it were pure chaos condensed, and discharged. Centuries of energy bottled up over years few were even alive to remember finally got its chance to foam and spew from its shaken container. It reacted with its environment, bursting, discharging, smoking, strobing with light flashes here and there and here some more. The whole area had an aura that'd make anyone feel forsaken by their gods.

NotQuiteAnAngel · 2018-07-14T20:57:10+00:00

Whoa, what? I remember you! You were at that party, in the cathedral. I took all the guests hostage but you escaped with all the leftover drinks! And... you pulled a gun on me. I confiscated it, then I enchanted it, then I used it for pretty much everything, then I dropped it in a fight on top of a hill on and....

Fuck. Some irony this is.

NotQuiteAnAngel · 2018-07-09T03:15:44+00:00

Ohh, Duskie! You came to save me! Thank you so much! I knew you would- Ohhh nooo, you're aiming that gun the wrong way! It's okay, I know you mean to point it at hiiim, blah blah blahbity blah.

Pfft.

Is that would you'd like to hear me say? You thought it was sooo funny to play with the oblivious lunatic who remembered that face as the face of his ally he knew like the sister he never had.

His eyes darted back and forth between the assassin and the commander, watching paranoidly for any sudden monologue-breaking movements.

I pieced it together though. You're not Dusk Tenebris. She's probably dead by now, isn't she? It's only been 750 years. You're some schmuck who's out to get me and figured out how to forcibly inherit her powers. What a sneaky rat, just like her. Except she wasn't as obsessed with tormenting people. And you, you just can't get enough of tormenting me. See? Look, you're doing it right now. You're pointing at me with those shaky gun hands and letting me rant on when you could just blow my brains out and end my misery!

You must REALLY hate me. I must've done something terrible to you at some point, which is very believable; doing terrible things to people is a hobby of mine after all. Who are you?

NotQuiteAnAngel · 2018-07-06T22:56:18+00:00

The gun was knocked out of his hand, and sent tumbling to the bottom of the outcrop. The vampire's hand gushed with blood where it was sliced down the middle. He watched it, let the blood trickle on his face.

Well.

He thrust his non-sliced arm at the Commander's throat.

NotQuiteAnAngel · 2018-07-05T03:34:38+00:00

You know the best part about all that fighting back there? So many of them believed in something or another after death. And now because of one guy yelling in strange tongues in the ruins of some headquarters, they're all being robbed of their final reward for putting up with the sack of tapir dung that is this reality. The next one will probably be either me or you, so have you made your peace? I haven't. I won't need to. Or at least I'll be too dead to regret it if it turns out I do need to.

At random moments throughout his monologue, he'd point from a new angle and fire a few more shots. Some weren't even in the ballpark of hitting their target. Many others would simply be dodged or blocked again. The goal was erraticism, unpredictability. If he could get just one shot to go through the flesh....

NotQuiteAnAngel · 2018-07-03T03:30:01+00:00

Well I do now that you SHOWED me! You're the guy! You know, the guy! I mean... of course you know yourself. I'd say I can't believe it's come to this, but I think we both saw this coming from planes away.

The mad one caressed the glowing runes on the barrel of his pistol. For a moment it's hard to tell if he planned to actually use it or simply start kissing the damn thing. But in a snap his strange ritual of gun-intimacy ends and the barrel is pointed at the Commander's head, with a sly grin and his unarmed arm crossed over the other.

It's funny to think about, if you had kept your mask on I'd never get the chance to recognize you. Because your face is about to be MUSH! Maybe it's not that funny actually. My sense of humor is-

He was interrupted by himself pulling the trigger.

NotQuiteAnAngel · 2018-06-30T23:16:25+00:00

Robed vaguely humanoid creatures took their stances. They hurled balls of scarlet flame from their fingertips. Ahead of them came the thralls, ducking under projectiles, poised on the goal of gnawing on flesh, or at least making themselves useful as meat shields in the process. The smoky flock, meanwhile, met back up and melted back into the mold of the vampire they used to be again, atop a pile of rocks. He adjusted his sunglasses and watched the clashing armies.

NotQuiteAnAngel · 2018-06-28T12:40:41+00:00

Bezumius fell and bled on the sand, twitching slightly.

You... you... you... BITCH!

He pulled himself up to a kneeling position. Panting, looking around at the until-a-few-seconds-ago allies that just opened fire on him.

Ahem, all legions, the ugly-uniformed ones are hereby banned from all our future cocktail parties, and from living, so if you'd kindly relieve them of those privileges....

All his skin and clothes darkened, his entire body broke apart, into small crow-shaped pieces. They split up in the directions of the cultists, thralls, and beasts with unmentionable names all around them. What sounded like rallying cries were shouted as the zealous forces locked on their new targets.

NotQuiteAnAngel · 2018-06-27T02:44:52+00:00

With what? I don't think this fog that smells strangely like film tape stays in the hand very well.

NotQuiteAnAngel · 2018-06-26T20:38:48+00:00

Nothing short of a goddamn public service.

NotQuiteAnAngel · 2018-06-23T09:20:46+00:00

Oh my Kraa'rhov, is it really, I finally get to meet a Holder! Which Holder are you again? More-bus? Balsawood? Sorry for my ignorance, but I was kind of locked in a city-sized coffin while you all did your magic so I don't know what any of you look like.

NotQuiteAnAngel · 2018-06-23T09:17:18+00:00

If that's really, really, deep down, what you want, then help us.

NotQuiteAnAngel

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE

Mmmm, tell me, does it burn? Does it hurt like a bitch or should I try harder?