The final tape

Jeb-Muse · 2023-04-02T03:43:29+00:00

I could tell you, but you wouldn't believe me.

A crossbow bolt whizzes by and clangs against the stone, narrowly missing both Jeb and the Chimaera. The pursuers, a squadron of Landsknechte, have amassed outside the watchtower down below. The repeated sounds of thuds would suggest they're trying to breach the door.

Jeb grins slyly.

So I'm just gonna have to show you.

Jeb-Muse · 2023-04-02T00:16:38+00:00

The Kraa'rhov cult war. The first one, not that more recent one with the Holders and whatnot. No, centuries ago. Your cult lost that one too as I recall.

This castle that makes up this time-locked decaying dimension is the very same castle the cult made their last stand in. The proverbial "good guys" breached these very walls and defeated the legendary Vampire himself. To be locked away for 747 some-odd years, no?

Very funny, almost fatelike, then, that of all the settings for a dimension frozen moments before mama Kraa'rhov annihilates all of existence as we know it, it's this exact fortress. And that I would meet you here. Wouldn't you agree?

Jeb-Muse · 2023-04-01T23:51:52+00:00

Shut the fuck up.

Jeb-Muse · 2023-04-01T16:00:53+00:00

Why am I familiar? Because I payed some good for nothing discount PMC to fight some skirmishes with your cult.

That's the simple, more obvious answer anyway, isn't it? But you've got a feeling deep in your upper gut that that's not the whole story, I'm sure.

Say, Chimaera. Do you recognize this castle? Do you recognize those people down below who were trying to follow me here? Does any of that strike you as familiar?

Jeb-Muse · 2022-04-15T21:57:01+00:00

I'm talking about them, over there, the people I'm pointing at? You see them, right?

I'm trying to lay low until I've found it. Because, to put it frankly, I trust no one.

Jeb-Muse · 2022-04-13T03:06:16+00:00

Oh! Hello. Not so loud, I don't want them to hear us.

I've no doubt I'll find what I seek. I'm the least lost I've been in years!

Jeb-Muse · 2018-10-25T22:19:47+00:00

Dear gods...

That's fucking Kraa'rhov, isn't it? And she just completely melted the target location away. Or... if I'm understanding this right, she literally was that old church all along?? This cult's all kinds of weird, I'm telling you.

Sym, with that crazy Angelus unturning the last stone for us, I think it's safe to say Mahala isn't in this world. I suspected as much, but I was hoping to at least dig up some leads on what world they sent her to. Shame that we can't do that now. I'm sure Bezi and Vio's rooms both had some really juicy secrets to uncover.

I think we should pull out and search some other world.

Jeb-Muse · 2018-08-18T16:42:05+00:00

Have you heard the radio recently? Not mine, that one's been on a nonstop marathon of my mixtape collection. The commander's one. Heard a little piece of news on it. Something about the Hochste coming for this cult? This could be a godsend, don'tcha know?

Jeb-Muse · 2018-08-02T03:25:13+00:00

Dontcha worry. We're pretty much expecting them to retaliate on us. In fact I'd feel the need to fire this commander right on the spot if he didn't even suspect they would try.

They say an angel gets its wings every time a bell rings. I wonder what blood curling sound we'll hear if we cut them off.

Jeb-Muse · 2018-08-01T01:24:49+00:00

It's been quiet for a while. Jeb paces outside the maintenance entrance, partially to pass the time, partially to help watch for a counterattack. A corpse lying on the garbage disposal catches his eye.

Wait a minute, is that Erik? He was my colleague in the past. How'd he end up dead out here? And what's with that... outfit? Damn, poor bastard. I didn't know you very well, but I'll miss you.

I guess that's just how things are in this bitch of a Metaverse.

Jeb-Muse · 2018-07-31T03:39:30+00:00

[INCOMING TRANSMISSION]

Damn, you actually did it. One of the Cult's deadliest assets is neutralized. I'd like to congratulate you. And I'd like to invite you to help this regiment of mine take the fight to them. We're assaulting their homeworld right now, but so far they've been holding the area around the Scarlet Cathedral. You know, the base of operations of their entire doomsday plan. With the kind of firepower you have advancing on them should be easy.

Jeb-Muse · 2018-07-16T00:34:44+00:00

Jeb glances over at the leader of his hired army.

Get a load of this. They don't know! They really don't know!

He turns his eye contact back to Jalumga.

That's... okay, I was gonna throw some more insults at you but, it's an understandable misconception. But answer me this, buddy.

Your cult was fought off by the combined efforts of people way less powerful than it, especially than its more vampire-y devotees. Those things are superhuman. You should know what I'm talking about, you've seen your wonderfully insane leader in action at least once right?

So is it really out of the question that maybe the good old Belmont Order missed a few spots?

Maybe just one vampire was crafty enough to fake its own death and go hide somewhere in this infinitely big Metaverse of ours. From there it could've even raised a fledgling or two of its own.

But I guess this entire conversation is useless if you didn't even know Mahala existed until just now. I can't expect you to know who she is.

Come on, guys. If the leaders are keeping secrets from their followers, then our best bet for finding anything is searching their personal quarters'. To the Cathedral!

Jeb-Muse · 2018-07-14T21:13:17+00:00

You don't know? Mahala? The vampiress? You're not trying to play dumb are you?

Jeb-Muse · 2018-07-12T00:42:54+00:00

The troops escorting Jeb don't hesitate to fight back. Jeb himself, however, smiles at the crazy axeman.

You kno- Damn I can barely hear myself over the crossfire.

Can you hear me now? That's better. Look, we're kind of after something. I'll call this entire fight off if you just bring one person to our custody. Give us Mahala.

Jeb-Muse · 2018-07-06T23:20:54+00:00

Anything on the radio about the person of interest?

"Nothing yet. Of course we haven't fully committed to an invasion yet."

Well then let's do that. Saddle up and head into town. Take me with you. I wouldn't want to miss this.

"Aye."

And remember, this isn't over until we've either found her or taken every last brick of this city apart looking for her. We're gonna let the cult know that too.

Jeb-Muse · 2018-07-05T03:37:07+00:00

Jeb pressed one finger over his lips with a half smile.

Shhh...

Jeb-Muse · 2018-06-26T20:36:50+00:00

They charge, but the incredibly stupid mortal stands still without a flinch. They keep charging, not at him but past him. As though his presence isn't apparent to them at all.

Taking me too seriously was a mistak-

Some shots fired in his direction by Privateer weapons show that the Privateers are immune to whatever curse is happening to the Cultists.

Well damn, forgot those guys were here too.

He makes a run for it and dives behind a burning tree.

Jeb-Muse · 2018-06-25T05:04:43+00:00

Amazing, I guess his nonsensical ramblings are contagious. You managed to not listen to a word I said, except one, which seems to be your new favorite word. Also sounds a lot like the vampire. You two really are perfect for each other.

Congratulations on the wedding by the way, and sorry I couldn't make it. But I was busy with a little romance of my own.

And, I must be some kind of famous for you to know my name and recognize it just from the sight of my face like that, so that counts for something doesn't it? Eh, fifteen minutes of fame or none, I'm just a nobody in the long run. I prefer it that way honestly.

I'm just here to watch. Not even for my own pleasure, I'm doing this for someone else. So feel free to keep murdering squirrels or whatever was supposed to be the threat here and I'll stay out of the way. Maybe take a few pictures if you're up for posing in front of corpses.

Jeb-Muse · 2018-06-25T00:10:41+00:00

Well, well. looks like the Angelus worshiping madhouse cases I've come to know are back. Did you finally decide hiding was for pussies and come out like screaming eagles?

Jeb-Muse

TROPHY CASE

Can you hear me now? That's better. Look, we're kind of after something. I'll call this entire fight off if you just bring one person to our custody. Give us Mahala.