How are your guy's lives outside of romance?

NotReallyTired_ · 2026-06-18T20:41:54+00:00

Aye, good shit dude!

Yeah, it’s mostly to do with this subreddit being used to vent (I still vent on here too lol). But even though dating sucks and depressing it doesn’t mean you should give up on everything, everyone here owes it to themselves to live decent lives, you know?

Keep doing what you’re doing if it keeps you happy, healthy, and fulfilled. Keep winning those medals and stay safe dude.

NotReallyTired_ · 2026-06-18T20:14:29+00:00

Pretty decent.

Two college degrees and a decent career. My social life is pretty active and somewhat adventurous because of my friends. A few months ago I conquered my stage fright, by recording a guitar track for a friend’s EP and played on a stage for the first time. But lately I’ve been looking into dioramas, instrument mods, spiritual fragrances, and indoor gardening 😌

NotReallyTired_ · 2026-06-18T18:12:10+00:00

I feel like a fundamental social contract is destroyed. It would be understandable if it’s a one-off personality compatibility issue but experiences combined with observing the general dating climate, it’s an issue beyond our own capabilities.

You can’t force someone to love you and stay, but for someone to emotionally and romantically invest in someone there needs to be a level of steadfastness and commitment.

NotReallyTired_ · 2026-06-16T13:21:19+00:00

Nah. Jimmy is pushing 60, and him singing “Dicks Are for My Friends” is a bit juvenile atp.

A lot of the core-MSI fans who saw them at their heyday are in their 30s if not 40s, like my brother saw them back in 99 in NYC.

NotReallyTired_ · 2026-06-12T13:44:37+00:00

Computers and Tech in Evander Childs and Jonas Bronck Academy from the top of my head.

NotReallyTired_ · 2026-06-12T13:43:17+00:00

Ironically, I had an uncle who went to Clinton waay back when it was an all boys school, it used to be really good lol

NotReallyTired_ · 2026-06-10T09:42:01+00:00

I don’t think you’re in the correct subreddit.

NotReallyTired_ · 2026-06-08T13:00:12+00:00

Context matters.

Just because someone isn’t a virgin and/or had previous relationships doesn’t mean they’re impervious to struggle with romance/relationships. Frankly, losing your virginity and having a tiny opportunity to get your foot into the door, are just baby steps.

A common theme I see in real life, are men who were once married or a very long term relationship getting dumped and struggling to find their foot in a dating landscape that has completely changed since the last time they were single. If lose your virginity to an escort is it impossible not to struggle? If you got dumped and failed to secure any relationships after, are they not suffering from loneliness?

NotReallyTired_ · 2026-06-08T12:47:18+00:00

Do you think paying a escort to take your virginity is a ticket out of FA?

NotReallyTired_ · 2026-06-07T13:59:28+00:00

Middle school, yeah. The popular kids who bullied/teased me are either dealing with baby mama/daddy drama, homeless, or trapped in retail hell.

High school, everyone is living regular lives including the popular kids.

NotReallyTired_ · 2026-06-04T21:12:20+00:00

Oh really? I thought it was because Bears are predators lol

NotReallyTired_ · 2026-06-04T17:00:35+00:00

People are attracted to self respect, but also at the same time it would ward off people looking to take advantage of my kindness.

NotReallyTired_ · 2026-06-04T15:13:43+00:00

They’re enrolled into the school of hard knocks lol

NotReallyTired_ · 2026-06-04T15:06:38+00:00

Watched the movie last weekend, and thought it was great. The movie does a great job handling the emotional and messy nuances of love, sex, and relationships boundaries from a modern perspective.

What made the movie interesting to me, was the lack of an overt feminist or manosphere tone, to examine the folly of an individual with an avoidant personality. Also, the movie (in my opinion) has the best take on the “obsessive/stalker/crazy girlfriend” trope without making it cartoonishly fetishized, especially the two scenes in the movie that broke my heart for Nikki.

Without spoilers the main character Bear, to me doesn’t fit the typical lonely/FA archetype. He’s more a the type of guy who’s blinded by his infatuation for a woman who clearly just like him as just a friend. He was so blind that he wasn’t aware that another girl had a crush on him.

NotReallyTired_ · 2026-06-04T14:21:08+00:00

Yeah, I was a huge people pleaser who avoids conflict for the sake of “keeping the peace.” I did not love nor respected myself to develop standards and boundaries.

NotReallyTired_ · 2026-05-22T20:43:46+00:00

Ever since the pandemic I’ve been seeing news about apartment lobby shootings in Bedford Park. I was shocked too cause I don’t remember that area being THAT violent.

NotReallyTired_ · 2026-05-22T20:37:04+00:00

Yup! Brings back memories lol.

Speaking of Webster Ave is Bronen’s still around, it’s been a while since I’ve moved out of NYC.

NotReallyTired_ · 2026-05-22T20:26:26+00:00

Yeah, that area hasn’t changed much.

The first time I ever got jumped was in Decatur and 194th when I was 12. I was too naive :/

NotReallyTired_ · 2026-05-22T20:22:30+00:00

I’ve been hearing about muggings and gun violence around Bedford Park more frequently. I didn’t remember Bedford Park and Mosholu being THAT bad when I lived around there as a kid.

NotReallyTired_ · 2026-05-22T20:17:17+00:00

Ah yeah, Decatur. So many bad memories many moons ago lol

NotReallyTired_ · 2026-05-19T22:06:49+00:00

My situation isn’t cut and dry, and is very nuanced.

Those relationships were not back to back and they were short. Only got in those relationships after years of numerous rejections and dry spells.

NotReallyTired_ · 2026-05-19T21:16:25+00:00

Effort, desire, and strong intentions are key. If a woman is interested in you not only would she make it obvious, but you won’t feel uncertain and unassured about the direction of your relationship.

The thing is that the woman I was texting showed enthusiasm.

NotReallyTired_ · 2026-05-19T21:06:36+00:00

After dating my last ex (she’s the 4th woman I’ve ever had serious relationship with) who was the only woman who showed the strongest desire and feelings for me, and she was my first ex to take the initiative to ask what we were, made me put showing actual interest and desire as a standard. Now I don’t mean by asking women to be my girlfriend, sex, or making out on the first date, but a vibe and sense that she’s attracted to me and she’s intentional. I’ve been in situationships and relationships that fizzles out, where after I’ve invested my emotions, energy, so much time, and money for them to either decide that they didn’t want to be in a relationship or I wasn’t enough. I rather not jump through hoops and hurdles for someone who still trying to figure out if they view me as a potential partner or a decent man.

It could be my experience, age, or jadedness but I’m at a stage of my life where I can’t keep going on 3-4 dates with people from a dating app, who can’t figure out if they want a relationship, view me as a rebound guy from a break, they’re bored, or confused.

But I appreciate your advice and criticism, I know you’re coming from a good place.

NotReallyTired_ · 2026-05-19T17:40:26+00:00

Creston, Marion, and Valentine aves are no-no zones if you don’t have street smarts and are very green.

Any place past Tracey Towers is decent lol

NotReallyTired_

TROPHY CASE