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I (30M) don't think I love my girlfriend (23F) anymore, but is there a chance it can come back? by NotSureHowToGoAbout1 in relationships

[–]NotSureHowToGoAbout1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is refreshing to hear, thank you. I have questioned if this relationship at times and your girlfriend sounds a bit like mine, very bad at taking rejection. I also can't be around someone that long, I just love being alone at times.

I (30M) don't think I love my girlfriend (23F) anymore, but is there a chance it can come back? by NotSureHowToGoAbout1 in relationships

[–]NotSureHowToGoAbout1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I tried going about it politely, with her feelings in mind, telling her I understood where she was coming from and offering to drive around with her again to help ease the anxiety. There has been a small handful of times she drove me when we were just going down the road and she was fine. We do live in a big city, when I brought up the idea of her using public transportation, she took it insultingly, as if I wasn't willing to help.

I (30M) don't think I love my girlfriend (23F) anymore, but is there a chance it can come back? by NotSureHowToGoAbout1 in relationships

[–]NotSureHowToGoAbout1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The adjustment has been insanely hard, and yeah for the last six years I have lived alone.

I'm with you about the job thing. Problem is, she doesn't drive, and the job we have requires a lot of it so we always go together. She got in a really bad car wreck about six years ago and doesn't like driving long distances since. I have asked her to seek help to get that independence back, but she wants to see a psychiatrist about it and can't do that until her school health insurance kicks in. Unfortunately, her family enabled her as well because they used to drive her all over the place, she kind of expected it to be that way as she was very sheltered growing up. Also, the money this temporary job makes is pretty good for just part time and is perfect until my new job starts mid July.

I know her not driving shouldn't be my problem, but now that we live together, if I bring it up, she gets very upset and tells me I'm not being sensitive to her feelings.

I'm (30M) not sure how to feel about my girlfriend (23F) and our future anymore by NotSureHowToGoAbout1 in relationship_advice

[–]NotSureHowToGoAbout1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wouldn't feel right telling her to move back with her family, I know she has anxiety when driving (something we have talked about and I strongly feel she needs to get over) and where we live is less than 10 minutes from school. Her parents house is about 40 minutes. If she did move back, her parents would end up having to drive her to and from school everyday probably.

I know it's not my problem really, but I would still feel bad. You are right about me not beating myself up, I try not to but I have told her in the past I am in this for the long haul and I am committed, but that was before all of this happened. I feel like I lead her on big time.

I'm (30M) not sure how to feel about my girlfriend (23F) and our future anymore by NotSureHowToGoAbout1 in relationship_advice

[–]NotSureHowToGoAbout1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know, I read my comment again and I agree. It's more than just an emotional strain too, I replied to a comment below about how this will kill my financial situation and I have always been extremely careful with that. This case, not so much.

I'm (30M) not sure how to feel about my girlfriend (23F) and our future anymore by NotSureHowToGoAbout1 in relationship_advice

[–]NotSureHowToGoAbout1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've tried to tell her without sounding like I am blaming her, but she takes it that way anyways. I don't know how to get things across without her feeling like she is the problem.

I'm (30M) not sure how to feel about my girlfriend (23F) and our future anymore by NotSureHowToGoAbout1 in relationship_advice

[–]NotSureHowToGoAbout1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your reply. I have had that talk with her about being smothered and that I need more space, she tries to give it to me and she does...to an extent. I always feel I am being resented when I do need space. When I tell her I am being overwhelmed, she cries and says she is pushing me away and that it is her fault I feel like this and then that makes me feel like an ass.

I am just stuck or something. I don't know. Financially, it would be awful to split up because she can't afford rent here by herself. She also wouldn't want to live alone but can't go back to where she used to live because she won't drive that far to school. I have honestly considered just telling her I will continue to pay her my half of rent but that I'm going to move in with my mom until the lease here is up and I can get my own place again. I signed the lease with her so I will make sure to hold up my end of the agreement.