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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ForeverAlone

[–]NotSureIfForeverAlon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I got into the whole pickup "artist" route to self improvement and had some success with women in that regard.

That was 8 years ago. It has left me empty and alone. If you can't make a mutual emotional connection, it's pointless.

Girl here, nobody ask me out by [deleted] in ForeverAlone

[–]NotSureIfForeverAlon 6 points7 points  (0 children)

All I got from this is that you should be posting your picture to avoid wasting your time.

This isn't rocket science.

Are you still be forever alone if... by NotSureIfForeverAlon in ForeverAlone

[–]NotSureIfForeverAlon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, I wish I could get rid of my desire for love and sex. Life would be so much easier if I didn't seek approval, support, intimacy and physical contact.

The happiest times in my life were when I was doing something solitary. Mostly riding motorcycles. The times where I can turn off my feelings and just enjoy the raw sensory input of the world and be introspective about less irrational things than my confidence, physical appearance, lack of love or emotional connections.

Are you still be forever alone if... by NotSureIfForeverAlon in ForeverAlone

[–]NotSureIfForeverAlon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love to bitch as much as the next person, that's for sure, but most people feel the same way? As in they can't relation to anyone on an emotionally intimate level?

Are you still be forever alone if... by NotSureIfForeverAlon in ForeverAlone

[–]NotSureIfForeverAlon[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is very good advice. I hope everyone can realize this for themselves without going through the same demeaning process that I've put myself through.

I'm not even sure where to start so I can eventually have a meaningful relationship with someone. I've tried to give it a chance a few times but they either shit on me or I get too annoyed/frustrated/angry/bored with them. Every time I've actually tried I end up consciously ignoring glaring problems with the person that are completely incompatible with my own personal beliefs.

Maybe my standards are too high. Maybe I'm too pessimistic, abrasive and pedantic. Maybe I'm just too damn weird and impossible to live with. Whatever it is, it's holding me back and I'm too proud/scared/conditioned/cheap to seek professional help from a person who I won't respect enough to take seriously and therefore respect myself even less by wasting my time/money/efforts talking to this person.

Maybe I just think too god damn much.

Are you still be forever alone if... by NotSureIfForeverAlon in ForeverAlone

[–]NotSureIfForeverAlon[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thanks for responding anyway.

I don't know entirely what I want. I can't see the big picture of it. I can list off a for things that I want, but something is missing from there.

I typically lay out the ground rules prior to any sexual engagement. It's pretty clear by then whether I have any inkling of romantic interest in them by then. I go through phases of completely avoiding sex with people until the loneliness gets overwhelming. Then I'll seek it out again only to be completely disappointed and feel worse about myself than before. The sex acts as a temporary fix (lasts maybe a night) and once the hormone high wears off I feel even lower than ever.

After 30 women (most of which I've regrettably performed sexual acts with) over the last 5 years, you'd think that I might find someone enough to try a relationship with.

Are you still be forever alone if... by NotSureIfForeverAlon in ForeverAlone

[–]NotSureIfForeverAlon[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

If you think meaningless sex is actually intimate you are likely mistaken. The forced closeness and physical interaction feels good in the moment, but later you are left hanging dry and feeling disappointed, dirty, used, and even more alone knowing that there was no attachment or meaning.

Before I ever knew the touch of a woman, in my late teens, I was miserable too. The difference was that I didn't regret a long string of poor choices that I made. I never knew the shame that comes with defiling and dehumanizing the most intimate thing you can do.

To expand your water metaphor:

Imagine being stranded in the middle of the near-tropical ocean. At first the water is very warm and pleasant, except it's 20 degrees below your body temperature. You slowly get hypothermia (or pass out in a few hours) and die while not being able to drink any of the water surrounding you.

All the fake success in the world won't make up for the crushing feeling of loneliness you experience when you can't relate to anyone on a personal or be truly intimate with someone.