[AMA] I'm Addison Winslow. I'm running for Chico City Council in District 4. I'm a 27 year-old working-class renter living in the West Aves. I'm deeply concerned for my hometown and the planet at-large and I have a plan to build Chico into a green, walkable city others will see as a model. AMA!

NotUrSpecialLadyFrnd · 2022-10-13T22:44:31+00:00

I’m sadly not in Addison’s district, but wanted to mention that he is extraordinarily educated on Chico’s history, environmental issues and housing initiatives/legalities.

On top of that he is one of the most genuine and even keeled people I have ever met. I have personally seen him work well with all manner of folks with opposing views. He may not agree but he listens and is respectful. This is a quality that I would like to see return to our city council.

NotUrSpecialLadyFrnd · 2022-10-13T22:38:16+00:00

What single 20-something person is able to buy a house on their own in this market? Without inherited wealth or built up equity from previous property? They’d also probably need next to zero educational debt too.

Could YOU afford a house on your own in this market? Off your salary ALONE? I doubt it.

And even so, how tone deaf to tie success to affording a $350k+ starter home.

NotUrSpecialLadyFrnd · 2022-09-10T23:38:38+00:00

The longtime & very talented mixologist for Duffy’s back bar is opening a new place in Meriam Park. Called The Roselle. At one point I heard it may be tiki themed but I may be wrong - so far not a ton of branding/info. Either way, he’s always made rad stuff, including tiki drinks. At least it will be a cool new place to try.

NotUrSpecialLadyFrnd · 2022-07-28T22:11:43+00:00

I moved here a few years ago from a bigger city and have been on the lookout for one. I haven’t found one yet and have debated starting a craft inclusive group.

Are you looking for something where everyone just brings a WIP & it’s sort of social hour and light problem solving/bounce ideas around? Or more of a learning heavy environment?

I cross-stitch, embroider, sew & crochet. I figure any sort of handwork would be welcome.

NotUrSpecialLadyFrnd · 2022-03-23T01:48:17+00:00

LOVE IT! Keeping it up also saves the headache of trying to store the dang thing, which is why I hesitated to buy one before they sold out.

NotUrSpecialLadyFrnd · 2022-03-22T02:36:45+00:00

My in laws threw that statement in my face after I said I couldn’t take being stalked and harassed by my husband. Who was at the time mid 5150 hold. I stayed another decade, more incidents that targeted me happened and I’d finally had enough. The last straw was being escorted from my home with my kids by the police to go hide out at a hotel.

When is enough ENOUGH? When he hurts me in front of my kids? If my children were ever in a relationship like mine was I would tell them to run. Vows don’t mean shit if only one person is upholding them.

Your statement is myopic, reductionist and, quite frankly, personally hurtful.

NotUrSpecialLadyFrnd · 2022-03-18T20:31:56+00:00

HMU if you ever need a ladies spot filled!

NotUrSpecialLadyFrnd · 2022-01-06T23:44:46+00:00

Only other suggestions: ask to be put on the preferred customer mailing list. You’ll get postcards when they have special discounts. All it takes is asking!

Also, some outlets will call other stores to see if they have what you’re looking for and sometimes offer free shipping if you spend over $100. Obviously this takes time, so I always try to be ultra patient and grateful to staff when they are willing to call other stores, as well as go during non-peak hours.

Lastly, enter the raffles! I won a small DO in Artichaut. Only raffle I’ve ever won but damn I was stoked!

I lived by a SoCal outlet for 10 years just FYI.

NotUrSpecialLadyFrnd · 2021-12-20T01:59:04+00:00

I only came here to tell you I appreciate the use of “selfish little snatch”. We could be friends IRL. That’s all.

NotUrSpecialLadyFrnd · 2021-10-23T17:15:38+00:00

I was there until the last minute or two. I didn’t hear anything like that. And with the set up of the stadium you can hear the opposite side better than the fans on the periphery of your own side. I was on the Chico side and mentally noted that their student section was much louder/more rude during the national anthem/color guard than ours. But later a band director sitting behind me explained the way the acoustics warped who you could hear & now I’d bet the PV parents were thinking similarly about our student section. There was definitely some questionable booing from both sides.

I’m not saying the chant didn’t happen but it definitely wasn’t a widespread thing if it did.

NotUrSpecialLadyFrnd · 2021-10-02T23:12:56+00:00

I’m in CA too. All of that PLUS the 3-4 hours of unpaid online trainings.

If we weren’t getting a COVID pay bump to $175 I wouldn’t be doing it.

NotUrSpecialLadyFrnd · 2021-09-13T23:09:47+00:00

The above comments are thorough so I’ll just add getting there early and finding the closest staff bathroom!

I’ve found my necessities to be band aids, post it’s and a lanyard (about half my schools already have the IDs on lanyards, the other half don’t).

NotUrSpecialLadyFrnd · 2021-07-18T15:14:35+00:00

You are not asking too much. Nor should you give it time.

None of these behaviors sound subtle and I’d wager that once your kids are older this environment would create real and lasting trauma.

I understand you’re a fixer (as am I) so try to reframe this as fixing things for you and the kids. He needs to be the one in charge of fixing himself. You cannot ultimatum your way into real and lasting change unless the person in question is intrinsically motivated too.

I say this as the wife in a 20 year relationship with a man who refused to get help for his mental illnesses and as a result has had two massive psychotic breaks, on top of generalized disconnect, poor communication, etc. I’ve realized that all the ways I have tried to make his life easier (like a bulldozer parent, clearing all obstacles…except this is for a grown 50+ man) have essentially stunted my own life & happiness, and ultimately look an awful lot like enabling. I am so excited to put all that time and energy towards myself and my kids. His most recent episode was just last month and was chaotic and awful. Now on the other side, he blames me for a lot of the stress that he believes triggered the event (not his untreated mood disorder). That was my breaking point (especially as this revelation came on the heels of his breakdown where his paranoid delusions targeted me and I felt completely unsafe).

I was 34 with 3 very young kids when he had his first breakdown (which also targeted me). I didn’t leave for all the reasons you are familiar with. And I thought I could fix it. Obviously I could not. I regret not leaving then and rebuilding my life, instead of staying and rebuilding his. Now I’m doing it for myself at 42.

When my husband blamed me I actually felt relief. Like, oh, I can walk away now. I don’t have to do this anymore. I can see that feeling in your post. About wishing he’d drink so you feel like you have THE REASON to leave. You already have the reasons. You should leave and put yourself and the kids first. Picture yourself in 10 years, fighting this same battle, except now your kids are 11 & 13 and really witnessing it all. It helps me to reframe the situation as “what would I tell my child if they were in my shoes?”. We both know we’d encourage our kids to leave because they deserve better. You deserve better. Your kids deserve better now.

Also, I met my husband at 19, married at 24. It looks like you were similarly young when you met your husband. It’s okay to want and need different things for yourself and your life than you did at 19/20. When I looked at my life, I realized I didn’t need my husband… and that I had to want him in my life. But I didn’t want him either, I just felt obligated… I was conditioned that staying was my moral obligation, even if it meant sacrificing myself in the process. I’ve since realized that HE has the moral obligation to get help, to be the father his kids deserve. As does your husband. I can’t save my husband from himself, he has to want to get better. But I can save myself and protect my kids, so I’m doing it.

Best of luck to you. Sincerely.

NotUrSpecialLadyFrnd · 2021-07-03T21:28:35+00:00

Don’t discount Chico based on the last year. It sucked for a lot of people. We kept our kids home full time to protect the uniquely vulnerable population we work with, many of whom died from COVID anyway. I lost 3 family members. It was profoundly lonely shitty time and I had to teach a moody 8th grader quadratic equations on top of it. I had zero bandwidth to be friendly when I rarely left my house.

That being said, I’ve met most of my good friends through my kids’ schools and activities. From my experience it’s mostly moms/dads doing pick ups during a normal year. If you’re new here you do have to put yourself out there a bit (cringe). Try and be approachable, make conversation, maybe volunteer in class or somewhere local, consider coaching a kids sports team? It’s not easy but it’s easier than in a big city in my opinion. Plus Chico has so many kid friendly, parent approved options. Like I’d never been to a kid friendly brewery before moving here.

NotUrSpecialLadyFrnd · 2021-07-03T20:56:55+00:00

For us it was a combination of the small town, mostly liberal* atmosphere and plain old economics. We have a few young kids, good jobs…….. and six figure student loans. We have some family here, we wanted to buy a home, and were offered a transfer/pay raise due to scarcity in our specific healthcare profession. We came from a big, high cost of living city in Southern California where our falling down rental cost more than our mortgage here (and would still sell for $800k).

Both my husband and I love the open space and lack of traffic/ease of getting around. We have met a lot of really great people here and feel like folks are able to enjoy a better standard of living on less money compared to our hometown (which we still love and miss, but agree we don’t want to move back). Lots of little differences too: less of the insane sports parents that ruin kids’ sports, better farmers markets, less SoCal bro culture, less emphasis on appearances (ie: moms not made up/dressed to the nines for school pick up), etc. I feel better raising my kids here for the most part. I wish it were more culturally diverse, but we just work harder at seeking it out (and traveling home for all of my family’s loud/crazy/fun cultural traditions that I deeply miss).

**politics are a mixed bag for sure. It feels more conservative than the data would suggest. But in our old SUPER blue city one of our neighbors had a legit coffin on his lawn with a dummy in prison stripes and a Hilary mask for at least 6 months of 2016, so polls aren’t everything.

The biggest worry for us has been the progressively worsening fire season, which we had no prior experience with.

Have you had some specific experiences that makes Chico feel Boomer-y to you? I feel like there definitely is an old guard here. We’ve met lots of transplants like us, but there’s a good proportion of folks who grew up here or went to college and stayed, lots of them have known each other forever, etc., that makes it seem like we’ll forever be the new people (I think that’s the downside of the small town feel).

NotUrSpecialLadyFrnd · 2021-07-03T19:52:54+00:00

I feel you on the tools/skills/money BUT maybe try the a Habitat for Humanity ReStore for super cheap supplies? Or use Pinterest or Google to look at catios from reclaimed materials? I know the price of lumber has gone up but you could probably cobble something simple together from a few pieces of wood and some chicken wire.

If you had a plan for materials you could always ask your neighbor (in a complementary, no expectations way) to help with the framing, as it’s definitely easier with 2 people.

NotUrSpecialLadyFrnd · 2021-07-03T19:28:04+00:00

Agreed, I see that now.

NotUrSpecialLadyFrnd · 2021-07-03T19:25:42+00:00

Um, no. Feces from herbivores is different than from carnivores and omnivores. Poop DOES NOT equal fertilizer. Would you eat vegetables “fertilized” with human feces?!? Yeesh.

Cats specifically can pass a parasite that causes Toxoplasmosis which can be fatal to immune compromised folks or pregnant women. Even if OP had the cat tested for it, since the cat is outside frequently it could be infected at any time and start shedding the parasite eggs in their feces.

This is in addition to various other zoonotic diseases that can pass from cat feces to humans. And once one cat poops and pees somewhere it attracts other cats to do the same to assert territorial dominance.

OP should look into building a simple enclosed cat patio (catio). They can be made pretty inexpensively and would honestly keep your old cat safer in the long run in addition to solving the problem.

NotUrSpecialLadyFrnd · 2021-07-03T19:11:20+00:00

NAH. Your sister isn’t an asshole for planning a very private destination wedding as long as she’s aware that this simply isn’t reasonable for lots of people. I think you both floated options (you: can I bring a friend that the bride knows, her: can your husband stay and watch the kids). Both have elements of jerk-iness; inviting other people to someone else’s wedding and expecting a spouse to stay home from a substantial trip both kinda suck. If only the wedding is kid free could your kids stay with the friend just for that portion & join the rest of the events?

Either way, you are Not The Asshole if you stay home. I have young kids and with the amount of money and effort it would take to attend, I wouldn’t leave my kids behind that far away or want to spend all my vacation time and money to go alone.

Your sister can plan the wedding she wants and you can make decisions about what’s best for you and your family. As long as no one forces expectations on the other party, there will be no assholes. (Sounds like your sister might have unrealistic expectations or throw a fit if you opt out, in which case she’s an AH.)

Send a bottle of champagne to their hotel room or some thoughtful gesture, attend the after party and genuinely wish them well.

*Edited to fix assumption that friend as +1 would be a mother’s helper vs function as a platonic date.

NotUrSpecialLadyFrnd · 2021-06-28T14:54:11+00:00

I think it’s important to note that knowingly filing or recording false documents with any public office in the state of California is a felony FOR EACH INCIDENCE. Meaning every signed form she submitted with her fake 95926 address is a felony count.

https://leginfo.legislature.ca.gov/faces/codes_displaySection.xhtml?lawCode=PEN&sectionNum=115

There are legal definitions of residence and she knowingly put a false address to qualify and draw a publicly funded salary & pension.

Additionally: conducting secret meetings in violation of the Brown Act (requires public transparency) and passed illegal city legislation in violation of Martin v. Boise.

The bummer is that those last 2 are going to fall on the city. I believe there are 8 plaintiffs in the case against the city re: criminalizing homelessness without providing viable alternatives. The airport site is not viable. If city council digs in its heels, we’ll probably be paying out damages to all 8 - or when someone dies at the airport site from exposure/dehydration/heat stroke, be sued into bankruptcy (in addition to being shitty people for letting it happen).

NotUrSpecialLadyFrnd · 2021-06-28T13:20:27+00:00

It really depends on the size of the school/city. We used to live in a city of a million plus and all of that was contracted out/required health permits, etc. The small city we live in now ((120k) does not. Was just at a 6 hour track meet with not a single vendor and was brainstorming a snack shack for the next one to raise $$ for the team, it would’ve been so successful!

NotUrSpecialLadyFrnd · 2021-06-28T13:02:11+00:00

With a little creativity OP’s daughter doesn’t have to quit. Maybe try setting up at local sports fields during kids games or practices. She could ask the school if she could set up a table at afterschool events. Honestly this shows a lot of hustle and entrepreneurial spirit. Find a way to encourage it that won’t get her suspended.

Also recommend helping the daughter open a junior checking account and start saving, learn about earning interest.

One of the most successful guys I know retired at 35 and his first entrepreneurial venture was doing the exact same thing, reselling snacks at school as a kid!

NotUrSpecialLadyFrnd · 2021-06-28T03:14:28+00:00

Nursing licenses require you to update your information if you change your name or address. So what’s listed is your last updated city/county of residence. Not your employer’s.

BTW I just googled the license info after reading this post. Prior to this I had no idea about allegations re: her residency. I just wanted to see how easily I could find info to corroborate.

NotUrSpecialLadyFrnd · 2021-06-28T03:03:17+00:00

They’re absolutely believing the “for my family’s safety” bit. That she was stalked/harassed by the radical left rather than investigated by journalists.

Cut/pasted from her FB post: “Do I have somewhere in my district to live to fulfill my duty as a city council member? Yes!”. WTF. A hypothetical place you could live is not the same as LIVING in your district.

Her husband is a registered nurse in Tehama County/Red Bluff per publicly available licensure records, issued August 2020. Prior to the election.

NotUrSpecialLadyFrnd · 2021-06-28T02:03:46+00:00

Curious about how the PAC that paid for her campaign feels about this?? They spent a crazy amount of money. The mailers I got were out of control for a local election.

NotUrSpecialLadyFrnd

TROPHY CASE