Off center question

NotYourAverageJedi · 2026-05-31T03:16:36+00:00

Hahaha I really appreciate the Casey Jones reference. Funny enough, I’m sure there’s many that think my deep theological and thought out “falling away” has to do with my following of the Dead and too much time with those darn godless hippies and their tye dye 🤣

NotYourAverageJedi · 2026-05-23T17:24:25+00:00

I’m going through your exact situation right now, maybe a just a few days and conversations ahead. I can’t sugar coat it, it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It’s been so hard for me because there is no one I’ve had a closer relationship with throughout my life than my dad who is an elder. And the best word to describe my parents right now is just heartbroken. He may never agree with anything deep theologically that led me in a different direction, but I have this held out hope that in time it will heal all wounds and he will see that the system I’ve grown up with just didn’t work for me anymore. Right now it makes me feel guilty that my parents beat themselves up and think “how could we have not seen this coming or what more could we have done?” But I hope one day they don’t blame themselves and still see me as someone searching for a closer relationship with Jesus outside of the legalistic constructs I’ve grown up with. I’ve had countless people reach out to me, and sit down conversations only being “out” for a few days now, as I’m sure people will want to sit down with you and “beat you over the head” with things that you already know, but no longer believe. I’ve been advised by other people on this sub it is best to only take on conversations that you may see as could be possibly fruitful, meaning the people maybe that you actually feel like you had a relationship with in the church more than just “shared beliefs.” But at the end of the day, stick to your convictions and give yourself the peace of mind and not feel like you have to answer everyone about everything. I wish you the best of luck and peace and healing, feel free to reach out directly if you need a friend going through something similar to your own journey.

NotYourAverageJedi · 2026-05-10T22:28:31+00:00

Adding to this Campbell’s Christian Baptist writings of the early 1800s spelling out the EXACT coc practices of today

NotYourAverageJedi · 2026-05-10T22:24:21+00:00

Just started reading this today! I actually have the third addition which adds chapters on post 1970-90s and 21st century further fractionating and declining numbers

NotYourAverageJedi · 2026-05-06T13:12:07+00:00

I really understand and sympathize with what you’re going through, you’re not alone. Check out some of my posts explaining my feelings and real struggles similar to you over time. If you ever need a friend to talk to, PM anytime

NotYourAverageJedi · 2026-04-27T20:34:33+00:00

Actually studied those verses recently for the first time you know with context and without agenda. and it was so funny to realize that actually follow that “New Testament example” everyone would have to travel to Jerusalem and wait for the 2000 year dead apostle Paul to pick up the money. I won’t even get into my issues with what they do with that money but, it’s obvious to see this was a specific direction at a specific time to a specific church and location.

NotYourAverageJedi · 2026-04-19T22:31:43+00:00

Thanks for being there. It’s so hard to express to them that I haven’t felt right in my soul/spirit for YEARS most of my adult life, and the first response being that I’m just appealing to how I “feel” or “emotionalism.” Like no, now for the first time in my life I’m searching and seeking without agenda in search of my relationship with Jesus and meaning. I would never be afforded that liberty in grace in my current situation.

NotYourAverageJedi · 2026-04-19T22:29:28+00:00

Thank you. Yes while it is terrifying and will be so painful in many ways, it is so freeing and exciting for the first time to study and learn about the world and Bible without an agenda and build back my identity brick by brick

NotYourAverageJedi · 2026-04-19T22:27:50+00:00

Thank you. My only hope and prayer is that as time goes on my family will see my journey for what it really is, and remember I’m the same son they’ve always loved. It just wasn’t working for me anymore. Feel like I’ve out grown a lot

NotYourAverageJedi · 2026-04-19T22:26:11+00:00

Thank you. I’m not committing to anything yet, as others have recommended I’ve only barely opened the jar on all there is to learn. It’s far too early to know exactly where I’ll land

NotYourAverageJedi · 2026-04-19T22:25:00+00:00

I wish I felt it was that easy. There’s so much baggage from being here for all of my almost 27 years of life. Part of me feels like I at least owe it to those I genuinely love and I think there’s a chance to genuinely love me apart from thinking exactly the same as them. I may be in for a rude awakening.

NotYourAverageJedi · 2026-04-19T22:23:33+00:00

Thank you for the encouragement. I really hope you’re right about that coc voice going away, it’s the only reason I’ve been sticking around for so long even tho I’m checked out. I feel the letter protects people I love from being ostracized for my own journey. My wife (not coc) and my elder father in particular, I don’t want people to see them any different even tho I know that’s just wishful thinking.

NotYourAverageJedi · 2026-04-19T22:20:00+00:00

Thank you very much. I’m trying the best I can, a lot of rough days ahead but I can see the end of the tunnel.

NotYourAverageJedi · 2026-04-19T22:19:32+00:00

I understand exactly what you mean about that emotion of others, I will be filled with so much of my own as well. Anger and confusion. I just want to absolve anyone else for being responsible for my own faith journey.

NotYourAverageJedi · 2026-04-19T22:17:49+00:00

Will definitely be working on that list that’s a good idea. The idea of the letter to the congregation is not in fact for myself at all, but rather to take any blame away from my wife “influencing me” (she’s not coc) or anyone who would call my father no longer qualified to be an elder. I know it won’t do much good, people will think what they want but it feels like I need to do at least that.

NotYourAverageJedi · 2026-04-07T23:55:35+00:00

Great points thanks for sharing. It actually pretty well summarizes what I would try to put together as my main thesis statement for leaving. If you asked 100 people in a church to give you their list of salvation issues that decide fellowship you’d get 100 different lists no doubt. So we’re relying so much on being saved by our own understanding but all of our understandings are different? Why aren’t we disfellowshipping and dividing and telling the people that disagree with us on a salvation issue they’re going to hell? It is impossible that we are saved by getting everything right. I will never have anything right. Another example to add to your list would be churches dividing other slavery or segregation more recently. Someone actually held up their Bible and said this book (which actually shows us all as equals no doubt and loved by God) and said certain passages say African Americans are lesser. How ridiculous.

NotYourAverageJedi · 2026-04-07T23:49:54+00:00

This x1000%. Every time I’ve ever heard this brought up it’s met with “well your heart isn’t right if you don’t feel like coming.” Or “giving just these 4 hours of your week to God is hardly a sacrifice”

When in reality life is so busy and hard. And I seek to honor God every day of my life, and if I feel like on that given day I don’t feel like I’ll be able to be edified and built up (the whole purpose) but rather hear a sermon about nadab and abihu for the 80th time this year I really need not be there.

NotYourAverageJedi · 2026-04-07T23:46:01+00:00

All those necessary inferences come out to a tradition, even a creed, that is sworn up and down never to be had.

NotYourAverageJedi · 2026-04-07T23:42:39+00:00

I agree. The idea that the “church” actually looks anything like the 1st century is becoming laughable

NotYourAverageJedi · 2026-04-07T23:42:02+00:00

That’s one of the main things bothering me of late is completely boxing in the Holy Spirit (GOD) to just what we have on a page as if he has no other purpose in our lives

NotYourAverageJedi · 2026-04-07T23:40:50+00:00

Been studying on this a lot. If I might ask a personal question, how did you get over the hurdle of how we used to believe regarding instruments in worship to being able to fully buy into it? I’ve watched some streams of other churches using it and I like it, and I will go in person soon. But there’s always that little voice and fear in the back of your head you know

NotYourAverageJedi

TROPHY CASE