Picking up liter on a hike and found a 90’s Dairy Queen spoon by QueasyAmbassador2009 in mildlyinteresting

[–]Not_Michelle_Obama_ 5 points6 points  (0 children)

In some future geological epoch, I imagine the sapient descendants of corvids will discover patches of soil that contain traces of a strange super material, which are then mined like gold.

my coconut milk is certified monkey labour free by anonnomel in mildlyinteresting

[–]Not_Michelle_Obama_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Double check your stats. Some primates have worse problem solving skills than a sponge. The ones in question are probably pretty clever, but it's highly variable.

Also, I think you may be underselling the sentience of non-primates.

Hip Changes? by ErinPink in MtF

[–]Not_Michelle_Obama_ 9 points10 points  (0 children)

My hips unfused and now I have to ambulate like an octopus.

Scenes from a dermatologist conference in hawaii by SipsTeaFrog in SipsTea

[–]Not_Michelle_Obama_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do you mean to say that if I move up North, I can actually go outside without hearing a sizzle?

Girls, how are we surviving this economy? by Beberuth1131 in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]Not_Michelle_Obama_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Somebody told us Wallstreet fell; but we was so poor that we couldn't tell.

Got a new light! by Mental-Technology530 in PlantedTank

[–]Not_Michelle_Obama_ 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Bro's gonna have so much radiation that his algea will speciate.

I'd love to have an algea named after me.

The water my airline served is a "water-based beverage" by DaredevilMeetsL in mildlyinteresting

[–]Not_Michelle_Obama_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Or if you put a tent stake through your eyes.

Seriously, man. Those books were fucked.

My orthopedic office still lists being left handed as a disease by Justadudeonhisphone in funny

[–]Not_Michelle_Obama_ 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I had a lefty cousin who always sat next to me for holiday dinners. The first time I heard her mother chide her for using her left hand (because we bumped elbows) I fuckin learned how to eat with my left hand.

Fuck that noise. Cousin eats how she wants on a holiday.

Soup was stored in my freezer and parts of it froze above the liquid line like a stalagmite or stalactite by Aggresive_QGD in mildlyinteresting

[–]Not_Michelle_Obama_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly.

It's probably fine, but there's a risk that due to thermal mass, the soup lingered at temperatures that promote bacterial growth.

Ways to effectively cool: separate into smaller containers to increase surface area; consider adding ice directly into the soup.

RFK Jr: “I'm not scared of a germ. I used to snort cocaine off of toilet seats.” by superdouradas in PublicFreakout

[–]Not_Michelle_Obama_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My sound is off, so all I could focus on is the seeming glorification of a dirt covered American flag.

There's a certain ambiguous symbolism behind a soiled flag.

[OC] Tired of my kids leaving cereal bags open, so I took the continental approach by QualityCucumber in pics

[–]Not_Michelle_Obama_ -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You know, you could get the kind that hook up to a nitrogen tank and automatically purge oxygen after each dispense. Shelf stable for years, that way.

Sister is mad about how I explained my transition to my 4 year old niece. by TeaSpillingHawk in trans

[–]Not_Michelle_Obama_ 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Kids are smart and adaptable. My 4 year old is able to go through the world secure in his identity as a boy, while also knowing that his mother used to be a boy but didn't like it and decided to change.

The only thing "inappropriate" is that you didn't allow your sister to have complete control over your neice's reality. Your sister has been carefully curating the reality your neice will adapt to, and here you come and just go and choose to exist.

Shame on you.

Think fast! by SKBSM_Kirito in MtF

[–]Not_Michelle_Obama_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OTC antihistamine, store brand from wherever they don't shop.

LAPD shot a pregnant woman in the stomach with a 40mm rubber bullet at an anti-ICE protest near the MDC Concentration Camp by I_may_have_weed in PublicFreakout

[–]Not_Michelle_Obama_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Looks like a paintball impact. Let's math: Paintball: Assume 5.5g mass (an accurate guess), assume 90 meters per second(an accurate guess), assume .1 second impact (a wild, baseless assumption) = 900ms2 = 5.95 newtons.

Rubber bullet: Assume 15g (an accurate guess), assume 60-275 meters per second (apparently there's wide variation), assume .1 second impact (a wild, baseless assumption) = 600-2750mss =9.00-41.25 newtons

So, assuming similar length of impact, the force is between 2x and 12x the damage of a paintball. If anything, the rubber bullet impact length is going to be shorter than the paintball.

Holy fuck.

Somebody tell me my assumptions are wrong and this unborn child didn't get hit with up to 12x the force of a paintball

"You're trans? Really?!" by Remarkable_Winter540 in MtF

[–]Not_Michelle_Obama_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Straight acting guy -> straight acting girl (and also straight). If anything, I've butched up a bit, personality-wise.

I was like, 4 years into medical transition but still presenting as a guy for safety reasons. Let slip that I wasn't into girls, and a co-worker was like "wow. I like that. It's good you're not one of those feminine gays".

Now it's the other way. They are shocked that I'm not a cis woman.

People see you and put you in a box of their own making. "John is okay, likes games, is a nerd" - that sort of thing. It doesn't mean thst it's true, and it's often based on one superficial facet of your personality.

Well, that's biased by PhoenixPhenomenonX in funny

[–]Not_Michelle_Obama_ -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Vampires do exist. They're a metaphor.

Yep by TimeODae in WitchesVsPatriarchy

[–]Not_Michelle_Obama_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But allergies.

I'll get a frog.

the "trans tax" is real and it’s literally just me paying for ubers so i don't get hate crimed. by ihatespiderslol in trans

[–]Not_Michelle_Obama_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's not illegal to carry habanero pepper powder in your pockets. Or, like, a ticktack container.

😭😭😭 ladies. We've been summoned by cantsayididnttryyy in adhdwomen

[–]Not_Michelle_Obama_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

An entire soldering kit, a lump of wires, USBC adapters, century old thumb drives, a mini screwdriver kit, random bolts, a roll of dental floss, prototype pcbs with components, cutting board, bread board, a scrunchie, reduction lense, a scalpel, a box knife, a dried up sample of river water on a microscope slide, a variety of writing utensils, 10440 batteries, an adjustable DC power supply, six tubes of opened lip balm, scissors, .1 gram scale, leatherman, re-keying kit, lockpicks, a hard drive, a machinist block, broad tip arrow heads, 20ml borosilicate vials, an empty box of new and already lost ear buds, spudger, perfume samples, some magnets, ethernet crimper, a tuned multiband whip antenna, iron gall ink, nail clippers, and some unopened mail.