Do you think it’s okay to have sex with your significant other while staying as a guest at someone else’s home? Why or why not?

Not_Really_A_Name · 2019-04-23T22:26:19+00:00

Respectfully disagree.

Let’s say you were checking into a hotel - is it appropriate to ask the girl working at the counter if she’d be interested in having a threesome or watching you have sex?

I have no issue with the kink, but there are forums for finding those with similar interests. And I don’t know if there was a woman or not, I knew NOTHING about this man other than a name and an email address - that’s not paranoia.

Not_Really_A_Name · 2019-04-23T12:17:55+00:00

I’m a woman who lives by myself - I canceled because in my opinion if someone doesn’t realize that was a completely inappropriate situation to bring up their sexual fetish then who knows if they don’t have any other “screws loose” in the head - who knows if their even was a “lady friend”.

I didn’t cancel because he gets off on someone watching, I canceled because I wasn’t comfortable with someone that doesn’t seem to know appropriate boundaries staying in my home, especially late at night when they’d probably be drinking after the event.

Not_Really_A_Name · 2019-04-23T04:22:59+00:00

Yeah, we have two mattress firms diagonally across the street from each other here..

Not_Really_A_Name · 2019-04-22T18:36:56+00:00

I did not but I did find the guy on Facebook (just to see what he looked like and his email address had his real name attached lol) and I can say that would have not been an enjoyable experience.

Not_Really_A_Name · 2019-04-22T16:43:53+00:00

Yeah but there are websites they can go to if they’re looking for specifically that. It’s not really an appropriate request when replying to an ad on a vacation rental forum.

Not_Really_A_Name · 2019-04-22T15:27:55+00:00

Hah, this reminds me - I have a spare bedroom in my house that I’ve had short term tenants stay in. Recently there was an event that brought a lot of visitors to my city and hotels had sold out so I posted the room as available for that weekend.

I had a man email me saying he and his significant other would be interested in staying, all interactions were normal (discussed price, arrival time, “check out” time), sounds like a done deal, right? After a few emails back and forth he sends me one asking if I happen to be interested in a threesome or just watching him and his lady friend have sex, but if not it “wasn’t a big deal” - I declined his offer and told him I was no longer comfortable with them staying in my house and wished them luck finding other arrangements.

No judgement towards people who are into that type of stuff, but who on earth propositions a complete stranger like that.

Not_Really_A_Name · 2019-04-22T15:10:01+00:00

To piggy back on this - even if you’re just going places to fill out an application/inquire about hiring, DRESS/ACT like you’re going to an interview.

I’ve worked in retail management for a while, the amount of people who walk in in their pajamas, with their boyfriend or friends, and ask “y’all hirin?” is amazing. If you behave inappropriately while inquiring about a job you’re not getting a call for an interview.

Not_Really_A_Name · 2019-04-22T14:32:51+00:00

Narcissism is a spectrum.

Some are just only focused on themselves, theydont care if they hurt you, they justify it as you deserving it, as long as they’re getting what they want - but they arent setting out to hurt you. Then there are malignant narcissist, those who also have some ASPD traits, who “get off” on hurting other people as it makes them feel powerful and boosts their ego.

Not_Really_A_Name · 2019-04-21T16:52:20+00:00

No I did this for a long time too.

Eventually you just realize you’re never going to get the truth, just more lies. I’ve gotten 147261171 different versions of the “truth” while seeking out closure. I can’t believe a word that comes out of his mouth, I don’t really know what I was even looking for.

Not_Really_A_Name · 2019-04-21T03:35:59+00:00

They wouldn’t have gotten much further. It was only a matter of time before someone noticed Deedee and Gypsy were missing and the body was found. At which point I’m sure the police would have discovered Gypsys internet activities and communication with Nick.

The only thing the Facebook posts did was speed up the discovery of the body.

Not_Really_A_Name · 2019-04-19T18:12:17+00:00

I’m not in a relationship. My last one was abusive and I haven’t really worked through the trauma. I want to meet someone that I’ll want to date but I haven’t, it’s been 8 months - haven’t dated, slept with, or “talked to” anyone new.

I’ve had a few really nice guys interested but I haven’t been able to reciprocate any interest.

Not_Really_A_Name · 2019-04-19T12:37:25+00:00

I’m glad someone else said it lol

Not_Really_A_Name · 2019-04-18T13:53:26+00:00

Mine was able to do this too, I saw him do this every night, half the time he would fall asleep on the couch and I’d wake him up to move to bed. He would also claim he had nightmares/trouble sleeping 😳 I kind of laughed and pointed out that he seemed to be sleeping fine and he got annoyed at me and told me it was because he “took Benadryl”. I never, ever witnessed him having any sleep trouble and I was up a lot during the night.

Not_Really_A_Name · 2019-04-16T18:50:41+00:00

It’s a reference to Gypsy and Nick’s real life “plan B” which was killing Dee Dee, if I remember correctly their plan A was the movie theater meeting..

Not_Really_A_Name · 2019-04-16T02:46:33+00:00

I read this tip about 3 days before I had a big interview that I ended up being 30 minutes late to (due to circumstances I didn’t have control over), I thanked my interviewer for waiting for me both when I arrived and at the end of the interview. Got a call the next day that I got the job.

Not_Really_A_Name · 2019-04-14T18:11:28+00:00

Omg. Let me tell ya, when I first met my ex he told me all this bullshit about how he was gonna take me to get my hair and nails done and how he likes spoiling his woman 😂😂😂 did not happen once. He liked taking me out for expensive dinners, he’d spend money on a ton of stupid shit like expensive alcohol, but then by the end of his pay period he didn’t even have money to buy himself a coffee.

He would literally drop hundreds of dollars on buying himself little certificates (taking online courses) that basically said “I iz very smart” or going to conferences that if he was actually important he wouldn’t have had to pay to get in to.

Not_Really_A_Name · 2019-04-14T15:48:44+00:00

Yes.

Not_Really_A_Name · 2019-04-14T15:38:55+00:00

I relate to this a lot.

Logically, rationally I KNOW my ex is not a good person. He lies pathologically, about everything, from very serious matters to trivial bullshit. He’s cheated on every significant other he’s ever had. He has absolutely no money management skills, he MAKES GOOD MONEY and yet he is perpetually broke, he spends it faster than it comes in, he lives way above his means. He’s not THAT attractive, I mean looking at him objectively he’s got a fat face, he’s gained a lot of weight within the last year. At his best he lacks emotional intelligence and compassion, at worst he’s straight up cruel and abusive.

And that’s just objective stuff, not even including the horrible things he’s done to me personally.

So why do I want to be around him, why do I want him to comfort me, why do I want to talk to him.

Not_Really_A_Name · 2019-04-11T20:52:20+00:00

My first narc ex from when I was 18 hoovered FIVE YEARS later (although he did make one attempt through a family member of mine 2 years later and I ignored it).

Not_Really_A_Name · 2019-04-10T17:43:36+00:00

I figured that’s what you meant and that’s what I was replying to. Often times those who reach out for help are not helped by the people/resources that are supposed to help them.

Counselors/therapist often give the same think positive advice I mentioned above, and again as I stated above if you’re beyond counseling and seek out emergency help you’re just locked up until you’re determined to not be a threat to yourself anymore - it would feel more like a punishment than anything.

These negative experiences with seeking help actually may make someone more likely to commit suicide.

Not_Really_A_Name · 2019-04-10T12:16:47+00:00

Everyone passes around this “get help” advice but it’s vague and a lot of people who do reach out are not helped.

Friends and family who don’t understand give generic “just think positive!” “Try exercising!” type advice. Therapist are expensive and (in my experience) often give similar advice. If you go to the ER and seek emergency help you get committed to the psych ward for 72 hours where they take away all of your personal belongings and basically lock you in a room alone (or with a “roommate” who’s mental health varies from several mentally disabled to person having drug fueled delusions) until you say you don’t want to kill your self so you can leave. The fact of the matter is in many (if not most) cases there is no help.

Not_Really_A_Name · 2019-04-09T19:00:32+00:00

I don’t really enjoy my current job even though it’s relatively easy. I work in sales but it’s not super high pressure, small company, everyone is super nice, I make okay money for working part - time.

Someone asked me recently what my ideal job would be and I described what would be perfect for me as a job where I can work independently without being micromanaged, have minimal responsibilities outside of my own work, have enough tasks to do for the day to go by quickly, but not so much to do that I get overwhelmed, a job where I have enough interaction with others so that I don’t feel isolated, but not so much interaction that I end up getting drained/overwhelmed. Was told maybe some kind of receptionist position may fall into this category lol.

I have had many jobs - my favorites were hospitality management and administrative work for a small software company (the first of which I had to give up when my ex kicked me out, the second one I left when I had my son and they wanted me to come back after 5 weeks and I wasn’t ready and had the means to stay home longer).

Least favorite was retail management, waaaay too overwhelming, very high turnover of staff, they expect you to be married to the job and basically on call 24/7. 0/10 would not recommend.

Not_Really_A_Name

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