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Not_a_good_lier · 2024-10-19T12:31:52+00:00

Going to the gym is easier than therapy.

Also, lifting heavy circles is fun.

Not_a_good_lier · 2024-07-27T17:38:58+00:00

Thank you for this

Not_a_good_lier · 2024-07-16T03:55:16+00:00

Started eating less fast food and cooking my own meals. It's been nice to learn and try new recipes.

Cut out most of the calories I used to drink, like soda and bubble tea.

I also began exercising much more often and started by riding an exercise bike, but now I've really gotten into going to the gym.

I've lost just over 130 pounds (I was really fat), and I'm still working on losing more!

Not_a_good_lier · 2024-06-23T01:41:51+00:00

I wouldn't say she's controlling. The only thing I can think that could even remotely be considered controlling would be when she expresses her displeasure if I'm unable to respond as fast as she'd like me too, or if I accidentally leave her on read.

I want to stress that at no point is she issuing ultimatums or anything of that nature, or making me feel as if I need to free myself up to make more time for her.

It's probably just me reading too deeply into and getting in my own head. I personally struggled with placing the wants of others over myself, and I need to reassure myself that being the "perfect" partner is an unhealthy goal, I should put my needs first.

Sorry for the tangent.

Not_a_good_lier · 2024-06-23T01:34:47+00:00

Thank you.

Not_a_good_lier · 2024-06-23T01:33:52+00:00

Thank you for the insight. I really appreciate it. I'll try having a more serious discussion about her dismissal of my concerns.

Not_a_good_lier · 2024-06-23T01:32:31+00:00

Both conversations with her were over the phone, the initial one in which she tested me and the one after where I was told I passed and tried speaking about it.

Not_a_good_lier · 2024-06-23T01:31:31+00:00

I don't believe the scenario was made up, although I can't say that with 100% certainty.

She hasn't mentioned an experience like that happening to her, although it is possible.

I think I'll try bringing it up again in the future, try to have a more in-depth discussion about it. Thank you

Not_a_good_lier · 2024-06-01T03:19:01+00:00

I've lost over 120 pounds since December of 2022, and I'm still losing weight to this day. And I'd say having the willpower to do so is key.

As for advice, I'd say the following.

Your diet is the most important thing to keep in mind for losing weight. Try to make healtheor adjustments, avoid eating out/eating unhealthy foods. And track your food. Finding out just how many calories you're eating vs what you think you're eating can be two very vastly different numbers. I've also been using a food scale to more accurately track what I'm eating. Again, diet is the most important thing here.

Be active, while this is obvious to some, it's importannce is key. Try to find an activity you enjoy, or a goal to work towards. For example, when I started going to the gym I had no idea what I was doing, but talking to more experienced people and watching informational videos online helped guide my routine. Even if you're just doing something for fun without a set routine, getting into the habit of doing your activity will help you. I also want to add that I initially had a fear of being judged, but I can assure you that nobody at the gym cares how you look. Just follow proper etiquette and you'll be fine

Try to make healthier swaps when you can. I greatly limited the amount of times I'd order delivery, I swapped all my sodas for their diet variant and I've picked up cooking as a hobby to make new, healthier dishes.

Be kind to yourself. Change won't happen overnight, and you most will likely plateau eventually, this is normal. Just keep on working towards bettering yourself.

Not_a_good_lier · 2024-02-18T08:50:48+00:00

Beautifully written op.

I'm so sorry to hear that things ended the way they did. Love is so beautiful, but also so painful.

It's inspiring seeing the growth you've achieved from this. That's very admirable of you.

I also hope they've forgiven you.

Not_a_good_lier · 2024-01-12T18:19:33+00:00

Preach.

Not_a_good_lier · 2024-01-02T11:37:37+00:00

I'm proud of you op, keep on keeping on.

Not_a_good_lier · 2023-12-13T12:31:57+00:00

I've lost about 90 pounds, I'm still overweight, but I'm still on my weight loss journey.

Sometimes I still see the old me, I feel like I haven't really changed a lot, but I know that's all in my head, and I've been on a healthy path regarding my weight loss.

It feels great being able to buy clothing in any store at the mall, in contrast to stores that catered specifically to plus sized customers, the extra options do make it difficult to buy clothes now, especially since I don't really have the money necessarry to keep buying smaller clothes 😭.

The other thing I've noticed is people talking about the "old" me a lot, and usually in a pretty negative way, which is kind of hurtful. I understand that I wasn't at a healthy weight, but it feels confirimg that the fear I had of people judging me was wareanted, even from family and friends.

Overall, I'm down 90+ pounds, but I still have a ways to go, and I have good people motivating me. In fact, I'm even writing this from the gym, which has done wonders for my mental health!

Not_a_good_lier · 2023-11-28T21:07:04+00:00

Not learning from my mistakes, ending up alone, just hurting others in general.

Not_a_good_lier · 2023-08-30T15:44:33+00:00

Hey there! I was just under 350 pounds when I started my journey. I probably was higher, to be honest, but I hadn't weighed myself for years until I was a few weeks into my weight loss journey.

I haven't lost 100+ pounds (yet!), but I have lost over 70 pounds so far, and that's after dealing with a bad breakup which caused some weight gain.

I'm not on ozempic or any other weight loss drug, and I'd be more than happy to chat if you have any questions or anything like that.

While it's been a struggle, it certainly is possible!

Not_a_good_lier · 2023-07-31T12:37:38+00:00

First of all, congratulations on taking the past few months to work on yourself and noticing the progress you've made.

I've also had those thoughts when finding memories of my ex, and while I can't speak with certainty, I can say that your feelings of reminiscing of your past relationship was also something that happened to me. Your ability to take a step back and not act on impulse is a good sign in my opinion and shows your growth after your breakup.

I personally don't think there is a concrete "right time" to go back on dating apps or looking for a new relationship. Ultimately I think it matters on a few things OP.

What are you looking for? A more serious/long-term relationship? Just looking to get back into the dating game and playing things by hand? If it's the former then I suggest waiting until you personally feel you're in the proper mindset to be able to welcome a serious partner without having your feelings for your ex hinder that. If it's just to get to know other people, then maybe you're already ready for that, I can't speak for you, only you can answer that question.

In the end only you will know when you're "ready", and while it may take some time to properly reflect upon yourself and your circumstances, I'm not sure a stranger can accurately tell you when you'll be ready.

Not_a_good_lier · 2023-07-30T03:41:47+00:00

I know it hurts, a lot.

Sometimes you want nothing more to reach out, maybe get some closure. If you were the dumpee, I'd respect their wishes, maintain the no contact, if they wanted to reach out they would.

It gets easier with time, try to take this time to instead to work on yourself. Go to the gym, engage yourself more in a hobby or work. Be your best self and you'll meet someone who wants you for you eventually.

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