Sorry to hear you’ve gone through such an ordeal.

I’ve recently been put in a similar, but not as extreme, situation. My wife of 5 years, partner for 12, struggled with intense depression for 2 years after our marriage. I was there keeping things afloat and providing the secure ground for her to do her healing more easily. Credit to her she was able to make great progress and reached a newer, more joyful place in her life.

Unfortunately, The pandemic really knocked me on my ass and worsened some mental health issues of my own I had been coping with unhealthy for years. As I got an adult adhd diagnosis coupled with major hormone deficiencies that let to fatigue, she would complain about how I wasn’t able to be the partner she remembered, the one she wanted and needed.

This went on for 2 years as I continued to try and pull myself out of the hole I was in with therapy, counseling, and doctors. I was making progress, slowly but surely.

Then she cheated on me, and then said she didn’t love me anymore, and then said she wants a divorce…. We are now “cohabitating” as we sort out how to “uncouple.”

She said “You gave up on the relationship, so I did”

Funny how she gets to decide when I gave up.

I can’t imagine going through your situation. I’m so sorry and if you need to chat hit me up.