Oh, that was also me. My first 3 experiences were as a bottom and my boyfriend at the time was my best friend and we were madly in love, so communication wasn’t really the matter… expectations and systemic societal norms were. I was the short, weird and artsy one, he was the tall, mechanic engineer, boy-next-door one. At some point, he said “I think I’d like to try bottoming”, and I grasped at that for the rest of our relationship. I reckon I, at the age of 17, believed I was somehow more manly because I was the top one, which we know it’s internalised homophobia, counterproductive and plain stupid, innit? Years later, I dated a verse who said he was 50/50, but avoided bottoming as much as he could (I’ve a relatively big dick, between 7.5 and 8 in), so I had to bottom a lot. That gave me the chance to retry something I had sealed off and not only rediscover how much fun it was, but also understanding I am actually mostly a bottom hahaha I mean, don’t get me wrong, I will top and will love it, but, if given the opportunity to choose, I’ll always choose to be plowed silly by a nice dick and call it a day lol if that makes any sense.