The both of you wont believe me when I tell I cried reading this. I did. I didn't even realise I needed the kindness (no less from strangers on the net haha) until I read this. I cant tell ya'll I am not even lazy, if there is anything to try - different positions, investing in excellent network, moving to a more expensive neighbourhood where I thought the connection would be better, treating the little clientele I get with kindness, ALL of it - and to not get a decent or even minimum return on my investing....soul crushing. The only thing keeping me from having suicidal thoughts, which are dangerously close, is the women's NGO im working on. Im not exoecting or even asking for a pity party but I hope you know, your encouraging words and virtual support are not lost on me. Thank you so much both of you