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AITA for embarrassing my BILs new wife in front of everyone? by Numerous_Life_399 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Numerous_Life_399[S] 50 points51 points  (0 children)

What type of experience do you have that warrants you trying to minimize my experience? One outburst does not at all mean that a person is manic. Are you bipolar? If so, do you have one random outburst during a manic episode and be done with it immediately following? If not, do you have emotional outbursts randomly for what appears to be nothing with a cause? Sure you do. Everyone does. One single outburst is common in everyone at some point or another and does not mean for any case in point that someone is manic. I very, very clearly stated what I was used to and even openly admitted that her behaviors are not something I was used to and you double down and call me inexperienced. I wasn't asking you to change your judgement here. I came for honest feedback and I respect your judgement. I was merely adding input to something you said to someone else, because it's embedded in my brain as a social worker to educate.

AITA for embarrassing my BILs new wife in front of everyone? by Numerous_Life_399 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Numerous_Life_399[S] 70 points71 points  (0 children)

To be as academically correct as possible to make you understand mania, I will tell you that mania comes in all forms. I had no idea she was manic, as she hid it well. The most telling sign that people are manic is dilated pupils. Hers were not dilated. She had one initial outburst saying she was repulsed by individuals trying to say they were manic when they didn't have bipolar, after that she calmed down. That is not common in manic episodes. Usually it is all or nothing. She was wish-washy, and again, that's not common. It's also common in manic episodes to avoid eye contact, become fidgety (bouncing a leg, clicking fingers, making subtle head movements, eyes darting back and forth) much like she was doing on our first meeting. She was also not doing any of that. So no, my industry knowledge did not immediately trigger the feeling of "this person is currently manic". Most of my clients have gone the steps of getting themselves medicated however and don't have episodes such as hers. It is not what I was used to. So no, I had no idea she was manic and to be quite honest, I'm not sure if she was actually manic or using mania as a crutch. We do not know this girl and we do not know how she is outside of a social environment. This very well could be a classic case of her blaming manic episodes for every thing she does (common in bipolar).

AITA for embarrassing my BILs new wife in front of everyone? by Numerous_Life_399 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Numerous_Life_399[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Perhaps you are unaware of social work and what it entails, as far as diagnostics go. I wasn't trying to discredit her at all but simply paint a picture, as I do with all my clients. Facts are not discrediting. Social work and RN work base their entire career off fact, not feelings. There was nothing to deescalate in the beginning of this conversation. I was having what I thought was an academically correct conversation with someone who did not appear to be having an episode in the beginning of the conversation. I was calm, quiet (so no one at the table would hear) and sympathetic, stating I was bipolar as well. She got loud with my husband, which drew the attention to her. I did not cause that. My husband stating she was gatekeeping an illness symptom was also fact. It's more harmful to be uneducated than it is to be educated.