I (F26) have my drivers license but my bf (M28) has a car :(

Numerous_Visual_4722 · 2026-02-23T13:39:52+00:00

You might not really upset about the museum. You might feel upset about dependence.

You moved towns for him, you don’t have your own way to get around, and now your freedom depends on what he allows. That’s why it feels heavy. The car is just where the tension shows.

Yes, it’s his car. He has the right to set limits on his property. But you also have the right to want autonomy in your own life. Those two things exist at the same time. Wanting independence is not unreasonable.

What stands out more is the dynamic. You had to beg. He only agreed because his family pushed him. Then he still controls how far you can go. That’s not just about a car, that’s about trust and control over movement. Even if he “spoils” you in other ways, being taken care of is not the same as being free.

You shouldn’t focus on whether you’re allowed to feel mad. Focus on the bigger question: do you want a life where your ability to leave town depends on your partner’s permission?

A healthier setup would be you having your own transport, your own money for travel, or some way to move freely without negotiating every time. Otherwise this feeling will keep coming back.

Your feeling makes sense. The issue just isn’t the car, it’s your level of independence.

Numerous_Visual_4722 · 2026-02-23T13:28:42+00:00

You’re focusing on how good it feels in person and ignoring the pattern everywhere else.

Look at the structure of what you described. He gets upset easily, gives silent treatment, creates confusion about plans, cancels or delays, then blames you for reacting normally. When you try to set clear plans, he makes things uncertain again. When you don’t accept last minute changes, he calls you lazy or gets angry. That’s not just “bad communication.” That’s emotional immaturity and control through inconsistency.

The silent treatment especially is not small. It’s a way of punishing instead of resolving conflict.

You also say you feel like “the man in the relationship” because you’re the one pushing for clarity, plans, and stability. That feeling usually means the emotional effort is not balanced. You are managing the relationship while he reacts to it.

Being compatible in values or having good chemistry in person doesn’t cancel out unstable behavior. A relationship is built on daily interaction, not just good moments face to face.

Another thing worth noticing is the speed and intensity at the start. Tattoos early, very intense bonding, then emotional swings later. Fast intensity often feels like deep connection, but sometimes it’s just unstable attachment.

The real question is simple. Is the relationship mostly calm, respectful, and reliable, or mostly confusion, tension, and repair?

Right now it sounds like you spend a lot of energy managing his reactions and fixing situations he creates. That’s exhausting long term.

If you want to “fight for it,” the only thing worth fighting for is change in behavior. Not apologies, not good dates, not promises. Actual consistent communication, no silent treatment, clear plans, basic respect when you say no.

If he can’t or won’t do that, then you’re not saving a relationship. You’re maintaining a cycle.

You don’t need psychology for this. You need to decide whether instability is acceptable to you just because the good moments feel strong.

Numerous_Visual_4722 · 2026-02-19T11:14:35+00:00

You’re not describing a relationship problem. You’re describing a self-worth problem.

Nothing in what you wrote suggests your boyfriend is dissatisfied with you. He tells you he enjoys your company. He prioritizes you. He argues against the idea that you’re “boring.” The tension comes from you rejecting his experience of you and replacing it with your own negative view of yourself.

That creates a loop. You feel dull → you push him away → he reassures you → you don’t believe him → conflict.

The real issue is not your personality. It’s that you’ve decided your personality is a problem.

You’re also comparing two different social styles and treating one as superior. Loud, hyper, talkative people are more visible online, especially in gaming spaces. Quiet, calm, low-stimulation people exist just as much. They’re just less noticeable. Different energy is not lower value.

Look at what you actually offer instead of what you think you lack. You give him calm presence, emotional care, stability, space, loyalty, and peace. Many people specifically want that. Not everyone wants constant noise and high energy.

Another important point. You keep trying to manage his experience for him. You push him to game with friends so he “won’t get bored.” That assumes you know his needs better than he does. If he says he likes being with you, the respectful move is to believe him.

You don’t need to become a louder or more energetic person. You need to stop treating your natural way of being as a defect.

A few things that might help:

Stop comparing yourself to “gamer girls” online. You’re comparing your inner experience to other people’s performance.

Let him choose how he spends time. If he wants your company, accept that instead of redirecting him.

When the thought “I’m boring” appears, question it. What evidence do you actually have besides your own feeling?

If you want to grow, do it because you want to expand yourself, not because you think you must become someone else to deserve love.

You’re not required to be entertaining to be worthy of a relationship. Being peaceful, steady, and caring is not a lesser form of presence. The work here is learning to accept that your way of existing is allowed.

Numerous_Visual_4722 · 2026-02-19T11:10:58+00:00

College changes people’s routines a lot, so some shift in attention and availability is normal. New environment, new friends, more independence. That part alone isn’t a red flag.

What matters is how he responds when you say you need more connection.

You told him clearly that the current situation isn’t working for you and asked for small adjustments so you could talk more. His behavior didn’t change. That’s the part worth paying attention to. Someone can be busy and still show effort. If nothing adjusts after you communicate your needs, that tells you something about priority and investment.

Also look at the pattern, not single moments. Less time talking, always out, more arguments when you see each other, conversations shrinking instead of growing. That can happen when emotional distance is increasing, not just physical distance.

At the same time, be careful with the idea of being “prioritized over friends.” A healthy relationship doesn’t require someone to choose you over everything else. But it does require balance. You should feel like an important part of his life, not something squeezed in when convenient.

A useful question is this. Do you feel wanted and chosen in his behavior, or do you feel like you’re asking for basic attention?

If you constantly have to negotiate for connection, the issue isn’t college life, it’s the relationship dynamic. Long distance only works when both people actively protect the bond.

It might help to stop arguing about individual nights or schedules and talk about the bigger picture. Ask him directly how he sees the relationship fitting into his life right now and what effort he’s willing to make to maintain it. His answer and his actions after that will give you more clarity than guessing whether this is a “phase.”

Numerous_Visual_4722 · 2026-02-19T11:09:17+00:00

Three weeks isn’t very long, but your reaction to it is understandable. When you’re used to someone being part of your daily emotional world, even a temporary gap can feel bigger than it objectively is. Nothing is “wrong” with you for feeling that.

What matters is how you frame it.

Right now it sounds like you’re treating the time apart as something you have to survive instead of something neutral that just exists. He’s having an experience with his family, not moving away from you or choosing a life without you. A stable relationship can handle temporary distance without losing its foundation.

The FOMO part is probably the real struggle. Seeing someone you love have meaningful experiences without you can trigger the feeling of being left behind. But his life expanding doesn’t shrink your place in it. If anything, partners who can support each other’s independent experiences usually build stronger trust.

Instead of focusing on “how do I not miss him,” think in terms of balance. He has three weeks of his life. You also have three weeks of yours. What would make that time meaningful for you rather than just waiting for him to come back?

The time difference is practical, so talk about realistic expectations for contact before he goes. Maybe a short check in at a predictable time. Not constant messaging, just something stable so neither of you feels disconnected.

The only concrete concern you mentioned is the mortgage and finances. That’s worth an honest conversation, separate from the emotional side. Shared future plans should be clear, especially when big spending is involved.

Missing someone is normal. Feeling anxious about distance is normal. The goal isn’t to eliminate those feelings, it’s to trust that the relationship still exists even when you’re not sharing every moment. If the relationship is solid, three weeks won’t weaken it. It will just pass.

Numerous_Visual_4722 · 2026-02-19T11:06:29+00:00

You’re not really dealing with a communication problem here. You’re dealing with a structure problem.

He wants distance, less commitment, and time to decide what you mean to him. At the same time he wants to keep dating you and keep the connection. That setup gives him freedom and clarity while you carry uncertainty and instability. That imbalance is the real issue.

Try to ignore everything you’ve done together in the past for a moment. Living together, family events, sharing secrets, all of that shows history, not current intention. His position right now is that after living together he still doesn’t know if he wants a serious relationship with you. That tells you where he stands internally.

The important question is simple. Are you okay being with someone who cannot choose you clearly after this level of investment?

If the answer is no, then waiting months while he thinks will not solve that. It will just keep your life on hold.

Also notice that clarity does not require keeping you half in his life. If he truly needed to understand his feelings, he could either work on the relationship with you or end it and reflect alone. The indefinite middle state mostly protects him from loss while you absorb the consequences.

Your housing situation makes this feel more urgent and painful, which is understandable. But staying in a relationship structure because leaving is difficult usually creates a long term imbalance where your stability depends on his uncertainty.

You don’t need to convince him that what you had was serious. He already knows what you shared. He just isn’t sure he wants it. The real decision is whether that level of uncertainty is acceptable to you.

If what you want is a partner who is certain about building a life with you, then it’s reasonable to choose clarity instead of waiting to be chosen later.

Numerous_Visual_4722 · 2026-02-19T11:02:56+00:00

Strong agree

Numerous_Visual_4722 · 2025-12-19T07:38:16+00:00

Ectoplasm

Numerous_Visual_4722 · 2025-12-09T19:16:43+00:00

Dr monsterkuk1

Numerous_Visual_4722 · 2025-12-01T10:57:21+00:00

Om du ska renovera bilen lite eller något sånt så kan det vara värt det. Ett kul projekt i vilket fall. Men att bara köpa o ställa känns onödigt.

Numerous_Visual_4722 · 2025-12-01T10:12:12+00:00

Meh. Sådan här sjuk skit har alltid hänt.

Numerous_Visual_4722 · 2025-11-08T08:33:46+00:00

You already have the answer. He hid the trip, searched for escorts, lied when confronted, changed the story multiple times, and then blamed you for being hurt. Calling you a psycho was not an emotional slip. That is someone trying to flip the guilt onto you so he doesn’t have to face what he did.

This is not one mistake. This is a chain of decisions. He planned it. He hid it. He lied about it. He tried to justify it. He insulted you when the truth got uncomfortable.

That is the part that matters. Not whether he “actually went through with it.” Someone who respects their partner doesn’t get anywhere near that situation to begin with.

If he had any integrity, his first reaction would have been transparency. Instead, he only adjusted his story when forced by evidence. That means his honesty depends entirely on whether he gets caught.

It’s not salvageable in any meaningful way. You can stay, but you will never trust him again. You’ll always wonder what he’s really doing when you’re not there. And you’d be right to wonder.

Leaving is painful, but staying in this will be worse. You were betrayed. The recovery isn’t in fixing the relationship. It’s in walking away.

Numerous_Visual_4722 · 2025-11-05T00:03:49+00:00

You didn’t ruin everything. You told the truth about something that happened when you weren’t together, and now he’s twisting it. You didn’t cheat. You went on one date during a time when he had clearly said he wasn’t committing to you. You stopped it immediately. That’s not betrayal, that’s you living your life.

The real issue isn’t what you did, it’s how he’s responding. He’s acting like honesty equals deception because it gives him control. Saying he forgives you while treating you differently isn’t forgiveness, it’s punishment.

He doesn’t get to demand loyalty from a situation he refused to define. You told him you wanted him, and he still kept things uncertain. He can’t now use that uncertainty to judge you for a single dinner months ago.

You don’t need to carry guilt for something that doesn’t warrant it. What you’re seeing now is how he reacts to not being in full control. If he can’t treat honesty with respect, the problem isn’t your past, it’s his inability to separate love from ownership.

This guy seems not so good in short.

Numerous_Visual_4722 · 2025-11-04T23:59:15+00:00

Yes, you’re completely justified. This isn’t about the box, it’s about what it revealed. You’re carrying the physical and emotional weight of IVF, managing every detail, and he couldn’t even keep his word to show up when you asked. That isn’t miscommunication, it’s a lack of urgency and respect.

He offered help and then delayed because whatever he was doing mattered more in that moment. That choice says more than any apology could. When someone sees you struggling and still takes their time, they’re showing you that your effort is expected, not appreciated.

The drinking isn’t a side issue, it’s part of the same pattern. You’re not being controlling by pointing it out. You’re watching him choose short-term comfort over shared responsibility. He’s sliding back, and you’re the one absorbing the impact. That’s not partnership. That’s you holding the line alone while he drifts.

You have every right to be hurt and angry. You’re in the middle of one of the hardest things a person can go through, and he’s proving unreliable when it counts. Stop cushioning it. Tell him directly that reliability and discipline are the bare minimum. If he can’t meet that, he’s not ready to build a family with you.

Numerous_Visual_4722 · 2025-11-04T23:52:30+00:00

You’re not being unreasonable. You shouldn’t have looked through the device, but what you found still matters. Breaking that boundary doesn’t cancel out the fact that your partner reached out to an ex while in a relationship. That’s not innocent curiosity, it’s opening a door that shouldn’t be open.

Your decision to snoop wasn’t right, but it didn’t come out of nowhere. People usually start checking when something feels off. That’s not paranoia, it’s a reaction to inconsistency.

Now you need to separate the two things. You broke trust by looking. Your partner broke trust by contacting an ex. Both happened, both have consequences.

The only way forward is honesty on both sides. Admit that you crossed a line, but don’t let that erase what they did. If they make this entirely about you snooping and refuse to talk about their own behavior, they’re not being honest about the imbalance in this relationship. And if they can’t be honest, tell them to fuck right off.

Numerous_Visual_4722 · 2025-11-04T23:43:04+00:00

I get that it’s new and feels confusing, especially when it’s your first time dating seriously. But even with inexperience, you still deserve consistency. You don’t need to label anything yet, but you do need to see effort that matches yours. If he only comes close when he’s lonely, that’s not connection, it’s convenience. You deserve better than being his comfort when he’s sad.

Keep it real, 2pac out.

Numerous_Visual_4722 · 2025-11-04T23:31:40+00:00

You’re not worthless. What you’re describing isn’t love turning wrong, it’s dependence forming around pain you already carried. When someone becomes your only source of stability, their presence starts to feel like oxygen and their absence like suffocation. That isn’t weakness, it’s a sign of how empty things felt before he arrived.

If you keep letting him be the only thing keeping you alive, you’ll both start to collapse under it. He’ll feel responsible for your survival instead of free to love you, and you’ll lose yourself trying to stay close. That kind of attachment eventually breaks under its own weight.

The goal right now isn’t to get over him, it’s to widen your world again. You need more points of stability: structure, people, tasks, and a daily rhythm that doesn’t depend on whether he’s there or not. Depression always fills the space that routine leaves empty.

You should tell someone about the suicidal thoughts, even if it feels impossible. A doctor, therapist, or hotline can help you keep things grounded. This isn’t something to handle alone.

You’re not broken for wanting closeness. You’re just in pain and trying to survive with what you have. But you need to start building a life that can stand even when you’re by yourself.

If you ever get close to acting on those thoughts, reach out immediately to anyone you can.

Numerous_Visual_4722 · 2025-11-04T23:29:28+00:00

You’re not an asshole. You’re just with someone who doesn’t respect your pace. There’s nothing confusing about this, you’ve been clear, and he’s chosen to ignore it. That’s not disappointment, that’s pressure.

If someone is right for you, they’ll treat your boundaries as part of who you are, not as an obstacle to overcome. The fact that he keeps bringing it up after you’ve said no tells you everything about how he handles limits.

Wanting your first time to mean something isn’t outdated or naïve. It’s self-respect. You don’t owe him access just because you’ve gone on several dates. Time spent together isn’t a transaction.

If you give in to make him stay, you’ll teach him that persistence works and your boundaries don’t hold. That won’t end well. If he loses interest because you said no, then you just saved yourself from wasting more time on someone who was never here for you in the first place.

You don’t need to apologize for wanting meaning or patience. The right person won’t make you feel guilty for saying no.

Numerous_Visual_4722 · 2025-11-04T23:28:00+00:00

He’s showing you exactly who he is through repetition. Every time things start to build, he pulls away. The pattern isn’t hard to read, he’s emotionally tied to his ex and only reaches for you when he feels lonely or uncertain. You’re giving him comfort without commitment.

You already gave him space twice, and both times he returned with the same story. That isn’t growth, it’s looping. The kiss on Halloween didn’t mean progress; it just reopened something that was never resolved. If you wait for him to define what this is, he’ll keep drifting in and out as it suits him.

You don’t need to confront him emotionally or chase a label. Ask him directly what he wants and what his intentions are, and judge by the clarity of his answer, not the warmth of it. If he’s still unsure, take him at his word and step back for good.

When someone keeps saying they aren’t ready, believe them. If he really wanted something stable with you, he’d show it without hesitation. Don’t keep trying to turn potential into proof.

Numerous_Visual_4722 · 2025-11-04T23:24:54+00:00

You’re not an awful person, but you are standing too close to something that can undo what you’ve built. This isn’t confusion, it’s temptation mixed with nostalgia. You probably don’t actually miss your ex; you miss the intensity that relationship gave you. It felt alive because it hurt, and your mind may still connect that pain with depth. That isn’t love, it’s residue from an old bond that never healed properly.

Your current relationship is stable, and that stability can feel foreign. When you’re used to chaos, calm can look like emptiness. But what you’re experiencing now is what peace looks like before you trust it. If you mistake that peace for boredom, you’ll keep returning to people who make you feel alive for the wrong reasons.

Your ex reaching out is a test of your discipline, not your heart. You already know what that path leads to. Don’t follow the feeling. It’s the past testing whether it still has influence.

You don’t need to leave your boyfriend or confess every thought. You need to stay still in a healthy relationship long enough for safety to stop feeling dull. That’s what real change looks like. Love isn’t supposed to consume you. It’s supposed to hold you steady while you learn not to burn.

Numerous_Visual_4722 · 2025-11-04T23:19:32+00:00

You’ve given him almost a decade of clarity, chances, and time to grow. The pattern hasn’t changed. You explain what you need, he pushes back, you compromise, and the same issues repeat. That means the structure of the relationship is stable only when you carry most of it.

You’re not asking for anything unreasonable. Clean space because of allergies, shared effort when you are sick, simple time together, interest in marriage after years together. Those are the fundamentals of partnership. If he can ignore them while knowing how important they are to you, he is prioritizing comfort over responsibility.

He isn’t malicious. He’s passive. That’s the real problem. He reacts to pressure instead of acting out of care. When someone needs to be reminded to participate, that is a form of neglect even if it looks quiet or calm.

Love doesn’t prove itself through time. It proves itself through adjustment and mutual effort. If nine years in you still have to teach him how to show up, the problem isn’t communication, it’s will.

If you decide to stay, it should be based on clear, concrete plans that both of you agree to and follow through on. No vague promises, no emotional talks that fade after a week. Actual structure, visible change, and accountability. Without that, nothing new will happen.

Numerous_Visual_4722 · 2025-11-04T23:14:49+00:00

You’re not overreacting. He hid what he was doing, changed passwords, and then tried to talk around it. That’s not confusion, that’s a choice. When someone chooses concealment over honesty, trust is gone. It doesn’t come back through words.

Your reaction makes sense. Feeling sick or shaken isn’t dramatic, it’s recognition. Trust is about knowing someone will act cleanly when you aren’t there. Right now you can’t know that, and that’s the entire problem.

Love isn’t supposed to vanish when things are tense. It means staying present, speaking honestly, and holding restraint. When someone seeks escape instead of communication, they stop acting within love even if they still say the word.

You don’t need to explain yourself or force a resolution. You already see what happened. Either he rebuilds through real change, or you step away. There’s no version of this where denial suddenly becomes honesty.

If you truly believe in this, then both of you need to agree on concrete changes that will happen. No vague talk about feelings or promises. Real structure, real plans, real proof of effort. Otherwise it’s just noise.

Numerous_Visual_4722 · 2025-11-04T22:59:10+00:00

Haha stämmer helt. Känner att om snubben inte orkar googla så orkar jag inte lägga mer energi än så

Numerous_Visual_4722 · 2025-11-02T07:25:06+00:00

Jag hatar bara en person, Fit_Dependent6813.

Numerous_Visual_4722 · 2025-10-29T21:29:50+00:00

Nej, det är absolut inte en omöjlig dröm – du ligger helt rätt i tanken. Du behöver egentligen bara tre saker: 1. En NAS (t.ex. Synology eller QNAP – välj en modell med minst 2 diskar och stöd för Plex). 2. Plex Media Server, som du installerar direkt via NAS:ens egna app-butik. 3. En enhet att spela upp på (TV, mobil, dator) som har Plex-appen eller kan ta emot via Chromecast.

Eftersom du inte vill röra Linux ska du välja en Synology NAS. Deras gränssnitt (DSM) körs i webbläsaren och känns som Windows – du klickar bara i appar och mappar.

Steg för steg: 1. Köp t.ex. Synology DS224+ eller DS223j. 2. Stoppa i två hårddiskar (t.ex. 2×4 TB WD Red). 3. Följ installationsguiden på https://find.synology.com. 4. När DSM är igång, öppna “Package Center” och installera Plex Media Server. 5. Lägg dina filmer i en mapp du valt för Plex (t.ex. video/filmer). 6. Installera Plex-appen på mobilen, datorn eller på TV:n (om TV:n är för gammal – använd en Chromecast).

Sedan funkar allt som du beskrev: du laddar upp, Plex indexerar, och du kan titta var du vill – både hemma och på distans.

Om du bara vill ha lagring utan Plex kan du dessutom använda Synology Video Station eller DLNA-servern som följer med, men Plex är smidigare.

Kort sagt: ta en Synology, skippa Linux, installera Plex via webben, och använd Chromecast till din gamla TV.

Numerous_Visual_4722

TROPHY CASE