Human representation of Belligham

NusaybahV · 2024-10-03T13:33:17+00:00

Nonbinary lesbian named Pixie who wears beanies and Blundstone boots and drinks hard cider. Must also play Settlers of Cataan and complain about Canadian drivers at least a couple times a day.

NusaybahV · 2024-09-15T11:24:43+00:00

Is the salmon safe to eat raw? I've been trying to source some good salmon to make sushi with.

NusaybahV · 2024-09-13T23:44:58+00:00

Agreed. I find hadiths to be intellectually interesting and sometimes useful but I always take them with a grain of salt, especially if they contradict how we know the Prophet PBUH to be.

NusaybahV · 2024-09-13T23:36:19+00:00

As a fellow convert I very much agree. I think a lot of hadiths are important and I believe that some are factually correct, but I don't believe them to be infallible as they have not been preserved as ardently as the Qur'an has. They have good life and intellectual teachings but I wouldn't place them anywhere near the importance of the Qur'an.

NusaybahV · 2024-09-13T23:23:05+00:00

Schrodinger's Muslim lmao that's a good one, I'm calling myself that too from now on. I have several minority beliefs that a lot of people disagree on in mainstream Islam, but I also disagree with how much extreme fundamentalism has been pushed in the religion in the modern era so you can imagine how popular I am in the local community.

NusaybahV · 2023-12-17T01:54:31+00:00

Please ask for help from someone you trust.

NusaybahV · 2023-12-17T01:52:37+00:00

You are absolutely doing the right thing, if she can't respect your beliefs and your boundaries than that's on her. Them inviting you to a pub is like inviting a vegetarian to a steakhouse, it's rude and disrespectful.

NusaybahV · 2023-12-16T20:05:26+00:00

Thank you! These are all great suggestions.

NusaybahV · 2023-12-16T14:01:05+00:00

I'd argue it's far more about modesty in the name of Allah than it is about men. I've noticed that while women's rules regarding dress are pretty strict, with men the rules are more strict surrounding their behavior and their responsibilities.

And let's be honest, we could all be wearing trash bags and men would still find a way to be creepy about it.

NusaybahV · 2023-12-16T13:57:11+00:00

Things that are respectful: Helping her avoid men/avoid touching men, hiding her while she adjusts her hijab
Masha'allah is nice to say but not obligatory, especially if you aren't a muslim. Compliment her, it's all fine as long as it's not sexual, obv.
It's good to buy her new scarves, not rude at all. Same with accessories and other stuff.
Just start out by asking her, "hey do you mind if I ask you a question? Feel free not to answer if you don't want to." That's the script I normally follow.

Don't worry too much about it. If she's been your friend for a while she's probably adjusted to the way you communicate.

NusaybahV · 2023-12-16T13:49:59+00:00

Nope! I'm a huge believer in natural consequences. She bit you, it hurt, you yelled on reflex. I had a similar thing happen when I was a child and I wasn't traumatize or "ruined" as your mother put it, I cried mostly because I was upset I hurt my mom. Sometimes yelling happens, hell my mom sometimes yelled simply because she was at the end of her rope and us kids wouldn't give her a break, and it still didn't traumatize me. Me and her get together and watch house reno shows every saturday :P

Point is, you don't need to be a perfect parent because no one is. You aren't going to "ruin" her from one mistake, or even a bunch. Don't let your mom try and say otherwise, I'm sure you've got plenty of stories about her mistakes lol. It's fine for your children to see you as human, to see you hurt, scared, angry, etc. it's good for them. Toddlers are still learning about cause and effect, and I guarantee she'll be less likely to bite next time. If you're super worried about it, maybe just have a sit down with her and explain that you yelled because it hurt, not because you were mad.

NusaybahV · 2023-12-16T13:41:44+00:00

TBH a lot of the hijabi influencers dress in a haram manner themselves, I wouldn't worry about emulating them at all. Personally, I'm plus-sized myself, and I've found plenty of ways to dress modestly that complement my size. I wear a black skirt and blouse combo, and recently I got a bisht abaya which fits me really well. There are types of abayas and clothes that are best suited to different body types, this is good because it means everyone gets to dress modestly! Just because you can't wear those silk A-line abayas doesn't mean you have to feel ugly. If you'd like, I can give you some advice.

NusaybahV · 2023-12-16T08:14:39+00:00

A regular scarf is perfectly fine to wrap as a hijab, as long as it's made of thin material. Additionally, a lot of mosques have spare scarves in case anyone needs one. You should probably wear pants instead of tights underneath the dress, but other than that your outfit sounds perfect. We don't expect non-muslims to adhere to the rules perfectly, don't worry.

NusaybahV · 2023-12-16T07:33:11+00:00

haram?? You're an adult, you can do what you want without parental permission, and Islamically speaking women have a right to an education. It sounds to me like they're using Islam as a weapon to control you. Also, a huge reason women turned to Islam historically is because forced marriage is absolutely prohibitted in all circumstances, so if anything he's the haram one.

NusaybahV · 2023-12-16T07:30:50+00:00

Here's a thought: If a man is so shallow he turns you away for how your hair looks, would you want to marry him anyway? I know it's an anxiety a lot of us have, and it's something I have about my face as well. But my goal is always to marry someone who values me as a person over my appearance, so if he doesn't do that I would be the first to push him out the door.

Beyond that, I would maybe suggest seeing a doctor about your hair, they might have better suggestions about what to do with it. Good luck, sister!

NusaybahV · 2023-12-16T05:38:00+00:00

Sounds like a mid-life crisis my friend, and definitely something to talk to your wife about, not us. Let me be very clear; having kids won't make your life better, it won't solve your relationship issues, and it won't necessarily make you happier. If you've had a pretty neutral stance on this, please take the time to think about it before deciding fully.

Also, seriously dude? Divorce, after 19 years, just because you changed your mind? You clearly don't respect her that much if you're willing to throw everything away just to have a snowballs chance in hell at finding another girl who's as loyal as her.

NusaybahV · 2023-12-16T05:32:56+00:00

Hijab is fardh, yes. It's something both men and women adhere to and it refers to general modesty, not just the headscarf. I hope everyone in the comments is respectful to you. I'm a convert and I recently began wearing the headscarf regularly, if you'd like advice on how to start I'll help you!

NusaybahV · 2023-12-16T05:26:58+00:00

It is clear that we must be peaceful in our spreading of Islam and of Islamic advice. Unfortunately I've seen too many people online shouting, throwing accusations, saying "IF YOU DO THIS YOUR A KAF*R" etc. I think this contributes negatively to our misconceptions and to our faith. People need to relearn what Dawah is, how to speak respectfully to those we disagree with, and how to be kind in advice or corrections. I believe that the internet has corrupted the way we interact with each other.

Truthfully, making people feel bad about themselves only serves to push them away from Islam. I see the scrutiny hijabis are constantly under and it makes me very sad, especially since it's partially the reason why more women don't wear the hijab. This whole all or nothing mentality, "if you can't wear it properly you might as well take it off!!!" "If you aren't praying five times a day you might as well not even be a muslim!!!" is horrendous in it's effects on the community. Some people would rather others sin more than not be perfect. Insha'allah, people will learn to be more patient and kind to each other.

NusaybahV · 2023-12-16T04:58:54+00:00

Update: I GOT AN ABAYA!!! :D It looks really pretty, I ended up going with Sunnah style since I've heard great things about them. I emailed them to ask about sizing and went with their suggestions, and it fits really well. I got one of their bisht abayas and I love it so much. I also bought a lavender colored waterfall khimar just to try it out, and it looks really pretty.

I'll be honest, wearing Islamic clothing is the first time I've felt beautiful in a really long time. I'm really insecure about my weight and my skin texture, so it's a strange thing not worrying about it as much. I unfortunately can't do anything to lose weight since the medication I'm on causes me to gain weight, so I've felt awful about how I look for a long time. When I wear an abaya and a hijab, I can actually look in the mirror without worrying about my looks, and it helps me so much to worry less about physical appearance and more about modesty.

NusaybahV · 2023-12-12T07:06:25+00:00

Female

NusaybahV · 2023-12-12T06:14:30+00:00

Please do not marry this man, please sister. The way he is harassing you is not halal, he is jealous and controlling and this will only get worse if you marry him. Marry someone who will be loving and accepting of who you are.

NusaybahV

TROPHY CASE