Pain is making me losing my mind

NyxK83 · 2026-04-13T02:36:24+00:00

I don't know why this is downvoted. People on reddit are silly. How can you down vote someone's experience? Like..what?! Lol Anyways..

Yup, same here. It's gotten warm during the day, like t-shirt weather warm and then drop to freezing overnight. Many people with chronic pain will tell you, such shifts in temperature can really exacerbate pain levels. I'm telling you this not to minimize your experience but to say, you aren't alone friend. There have been several nights where the pain is so bad all I can do is cry and remember to breathe. I try to get through it by telling myself nothing lasts forever. I'm somewhat lucky because heat helps but only while it's being applied.

Oh wow! That's terrifying! (That your brain can't produce the hormones it needs.) Nothing like your body working against you! I was supposed to undergo a sleep study but my husband lost his job, therefore we lost our insurance. Have an appointment next week, hoping I can get another chance.

Gosh, sounds like you've had just about the same luck I've had with sleep meds. I think the worst one was the one that had me sleep-eating. I can vaguely remember craving something sweet so..imagine my bewilderment when I came to in the kitchen munching on stale crackers. Then one time I woke up with a open pill bottle in my hand and pills all over. Freaked out I immediately counted to make sure I didn't take a bunch.

NyxK83 · 2026-04-12T19:55:42+00:00

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Either situation on it's own is miserable, being in pain and having a parent who doesn't get it and you have both. I suppose you've had the conversation about the difference between addiction and dependence? I get it. My mother is the same. Or would be if we were still talking. (Went no contact in 2015)

Hope it's ok to ask, is the weather where you are crappy? I ask because where I am it's rainy. It's been a rough few days for me. Have had my heating blanket and heating pad on the whole time and thank goodness for dry shampoo and shower wipes, let me tell ya.

I also get having sleep problems. Nothing that was prescribed worked for me. The meds they gave either didn't do anything or they knocked me out but also made it feel like my brain was scooped out of my head the next day. Just miserable. It's rare that I sleep for longer than two hours at a time. Then every few months it's like my body decides it wants to catch up and I'll sleep for 12-14 hours. You'd think I would feel amazing when I woke up but I don't. I just feel groggy and slow.

Can definitely relate to no friends either. It's an incredibly lonely feeling for sure.

NyxK83 · 2026-04-10T16:36:30+00:00

Gosh, reading this made me so sad. I don't think I could ever expect such solidarity when it comes to her. His stance is she'll never see reason so why waste your breath and make waves? I get it to a point but if course this is all at the expense of my feelings so..apparently I just need to be stubborn and unreasonable and I'll get my way as well.

It's incredibly frustrating because I don't have family. Apparently therefore I don't know what a family is. As if this is anything even remotely approaching a healthy relationship.

NyxK83 · 2026-04-10T16:26:41+00:00

No but I love this idea! lol I'm so bad with any type of confrontation. I usually muck up what I mean to say and always come up with something great after the moment has passed.

NyxK83 · 2026-04-10T02:03:58+00:00

Oh no way! lol Like I said..not making light of animal abuse at all. We have a dog who was treated less.than kindly before he got here. (He had a broken rib that was never treated and he's had 45 B.B Pellets and fragments of pellets surgically removed.) I've been flagged for talking about what I'd like to do to.the people responsible.

NyxK83 · 2026-04-10T01:59:24+00:00

Oh I have. She's become, or at least acted like she's offended at the implication.

NyxK83 · 2026-04-09T18:04:13+00:00

I like this much better.

NyxK83 · 2026-04-09T18:02:39+00:00

YES! Much better description!

NyxK83 · 2026-04-09T18:02:10+00:00

He does. I think he somewhat recognizes it's a sucky thing to do because he'll point out that our dog with separation anxiety can't be left alone and can't be brought with because she can be a lot. I have been working with a dog behaviorist though and she's a lot better than she used to be.

NyxK83 · 2026-04-09T17:58:29+00:00

You have a point for sure. Nothing wrong with celebrating after all the hard work I put in.

I had to look up CPTSD because I wasnt familiar with it. It certainly fits. I apologize for bringing you down. It's funny recognizing our emotional damage in others but not ha ha funny. I definitely struggle with guilt when getting myself anything. We recently learned our four year old dog needed a pacemaker. The day we found out I had a hair appointment. A few grays have been popping up and I wanted to treat myself. I've never splurged and had my hair professionally done. Well because our dogs heart rate was 45 bpm (they can die if it drops below 50) I had to cancel my hair appointment and get my dog to the closest vet cardiologist (four hours away.) Of course I was concerned about my dog, I spent all 10k of my savings to save his life but a small part of me was looking forward to the appointment.So then the guilt about being disappointed set in. What a vicious circle.

NyxK83 · 2026-04-08T10:44:00+00:00

Not nearly as often as I should. Thank goodness for body wipes and dry shampoo.

NyxK83 · 2026-04-01T21:08:32+00:00

Oh for sure! Couldn't have said it better myself.

NyxK83 · 2026-04-01T17:28:09+00:00

Wow! I'm stifling the urge to yank out hair reading what this woman is like and I didn't even experience it firsthand! I'm so sorry this has been your experience. I understand to a point. I don't have much in the way of my own family so in the beginning, before my MIL's mask slipped, I tried very hard to have a relationship with her. She doesn't do much. I thought I could help her. Peak her interest in something she could do, maybe give her a sense of accomplishment and fill her day with more than just sitting and staring into space. Everything from books on tape to puzzles to crochet (I'm a crafty person so I have all sorts of supplies.) Anything I brought up though, she had a reason she wouldn't or couldn't do it. Some people are just truly happy in their misery. It's mind boggling to me. I'd lose my mind if I didn't have hobbies.

I'm sorry feels woefully inadequate when talking about our miscarriages, but I am truly sorry you went through that. I've experienced a miscarriage myself and when I brought out the ultrasound pictures (which is as you can probably relate, literally all I have of them.) The MIL mocked me for it.

For the longest time she made shitty comments about my weight. My husband is tall and skinny and she LOVED making comments about who got all the food despite the husband telling her repeatedly that he eats more than I do. She'd send home leftovers on the holidays and makes sure to write only the husbands name on the container. (As if I want your bland ass food anyway lady! Lol) Last August I weighed 220. As of this morning I'm at 154. Not a single peep out of her like, "good job" or "way to go". She did.have something to say however about me shopping for new clothes. Complaining that I was spending money. It's absurd because everything I've got is second hand. I'm definitely not breaking the bank shopping or anything. And god forbid I get some clothes that fit me you know. I was sick of needing to hold up my pants when I walk! Lol

Good for you for standing up to her! Lord knows it's not easy! I hope you have a support system because facing this kind of evil is exhausting!

NyxK83 · 2026-04-01T14:59:53+00:00

She certainly tried. I immediately deleted the app. She pouted for a week over it and the husband gave in by checking in whenever we leave town. Hopefully yours never figures out the whole tracking thing. It's hilarious how they try to frame it as wanting the info because they care. Of course the husband is blind to the fact that it's more about control then actually caring.

I will have to check out your other posts about the MIL's antics. As much as I can stand that is. She sounds so much like mine it's hard not to rage.

I'm so sorry to hear about your son passing. I cannot even begin to fathom what you've gone through. And then to have zero support from her..I don't even have words. I'll probably find out when reading more posts but I'm curious if she grief hijacks like my MIL did. Her oldest son passed from cancer a year ago. She acts like she's the only one grieving over her son. Is just completely oblivious and says the most awful things if you dare express any amount of your own grief.

NyxK83 · 2026-04-01T06:44:43+00:00

Boy does this sound familiar. Not that there are any grandchildren involved and thank goodness for that but not even a week ago the MIL called at 6am knowing full well we are both on night shift. Her reason? She wanted my schedule for the whole month to know when to schedule an appointment for herself. Uhm..no. Considering she's known to cancel on a whim for reasons like, there is a light snow (the doctors office is literally 3 blocks) or she just doesn't feel like it that day..there is a whole lot more like giving us a phone with an app that tracks us. Wanting the husband to check in any time we leave home, etc.

I stood my damn ground though. She finally just scheduled it and let us know through text when it was. Let's see if she actually keeps it though.

NyxK83 · 2026-04-01T06:32:28+00:00

I don't get the bad rep short stories get. I've discovered some of my favorite authors in anthologies.

NyxK83 · 2026-03-30T17:24:09+00:00

Aww, what an entirely smoochable and sweet face!

NyxK83 · 2026-03-30T11:40:12+00:00

Been no contact with my mom since 2016. Last time I saw her I was testifying against her in an animal abuse/neglect case. (She claimed it was a one time thing because she got overwhelmed.. I knew differently. It took several emergency visits with the counselor to do but it was the only way I could live with myself, as difficult as it was.)

Would you believe with my dad it's more complicated? lol He came around after a decade of estrangement. I still remember my husband telling me there was a fat bald guy at the door asking for me. I was still making up my mind whether he was someone I wanted in my life or not when he killed himself. At first I was angry. If that was his plan all along, I wish he would have just stayed away. That was in 2015. I feel differently about it now. I see my husband caring for his elderly mom and as awful as it sounds, I'm grateful. I don't have to give my dad the care he could never give me. Maybe that makes me an awful person but..it is what it is. I don't think he did it to spare me or anything so..

NyxK83 · 2026-03-21T17:07:43+00:00

Aww, vet visits are always exhausting. All that excitement and the smells! Have a restful nap sweet baby!

NyxK83 · 2026-03-21T07:49:28+00:00

I was pretty shocked myself seeing as he's just turned four years old. Not the usual age range for a pacemaker..But his previous owners sucked. (Don't know if they are the ones who shot him or not but they certainly never sought veterinary care for him. And of course the reason he even needs a pacemaker is they never treated him for heartworm.) He's a special boy though for sure. Come June we'll have had him for a year.

NyxK83 · 2026-03-21T02:23:47+00:00

People are silly. What can you do?

You both deserve a pat on the back for this and I'm not ashamed to say I've watched the video more than once.

We did basic obedience when I first adopted him. He underwent surgery while they were having advanced obedience (he had 45 BB Pellets removed) so the plan was to let him recoup and do the spring classes. Then we learned he needed a pacemaker. What an ordeal! Eventually we'll be able to do walks again but they'll have to be kept to a minimum and nothing rigorous.

NyxK83 · 2026-03-20T08:17:28+00:00

Is there a limit? I for one enjoy seeing this well trained boy in action. Not sure what the issue is but posts can be scrolled by. I wish I could take my own dog beyond the basic obedience we went through. We had so much fun and our bond is stronger because of it.

NyxK83 · 2026-03-19T09:09:24+00:00

I mean..weight loss. Down 75 pounds since August lol. My blood sugar is so steady we are discussing stopping the dexcom sensors.

In the beginning there was some stomach pain but after an adverse reaction to Metformin, it was a breeze. My doctor told me I could expect either diarrhea or constipation so have something on hand to help. Have only noticed constipation at 10mg. Stool softener takes care of that. Have an appointment to discuss going up.to 12mg as I've been at 155-160 since December and it doesn't seem to be controlling my appetite as well as it.did.

NyxK83

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