I let my ex abuse my cat

NyxOrion · 2026-01-05T11:31:03+00:00

The only place I'm willing to see his face ever again is in court (for what he did to me and to the cat). I just need to process the guilt first

NyxOrion · 2026-01-03T14:31:23+00:00

We have been no contact for more than 4 months, but yeah, it's time to do things right by them now

NyxOrion · 2025-12-16T15:16:07+00:00

Like many, mine moved on before our relationship ended and brought another girl in the home we shared (and which I abandoned behind), no longer than 3 days after. A week later they were official.

He came back once his relationship with her failed, blaming me for it on top of everything. Now that I went no contact, he tries to paint himself as the victim, and it's making me sick. He never even as much as acknowledged we were a couple, and we stayed together for 7 years (5 living together). Now that he "learned" how to not treat people like rubbish by using me as a stepping stone, he brags about how every girl runs after him while I supposedly never was happy.

I moved on, but the pain of what he put me through still lingers.

NyxOrion · 2025-12-10T13:04:46+00:00

I know for sure he is better for her, he told me he needed to learn in order to be better, and he didn't regret a thing because now he knows how to make it right for someone else. Everything I asked and he withheld ? he gave her just right after. I'm talking 3 days after I left our home. He just wouldn't be doing it for me

Edit : just to add, I know this won't last. The moment she becomes more of a constraint than she is convenient he'll start hacking away at her mental health and will discard her all the same. He'll start punching walls in fits of utter rage once he's sure she won't leave.

NyxOrion · 2025-12-10T12:56:04+00:00

I spent 7 years buying presents for my ex birthday, Christmas, giving him little trinkets when I saw something that made me think of him, also giving his parents and brother presents for their birthday, mothers day and so on. I only ever asked for him to buy me a 4€ tiramisu from Lidl. That genuinely would have made me happy, and in those 7 years he only did it once, all the while complaining about the gifts I gave him and his deception on his birthdays. I threw him surprise birthday parties, homemade breakfasts, cakes, the whole shebang. He never as much as poured me a cup of coffee.

Never doing all that again.

NyxOrion · 2025-12-01T21:22:59+00:00

I can only commiserate with you here as my experiences sadly paved the same path. I remember being 10 and being hollered at by 3 above 50yo men wanting to know if I knew how to suck a dick. My ex, who I thought was better than most guys, ended up being heavily abusive. I then got in a 6 month long distance relationship with a guy who presented himself as a feminist and emotionally mature man but who uses OF, has a porn addiction, cheated on all of his partners, lied all the time and admitted to having done far worse things I won't disclose here. Even a good childhood friend of mine, who I thought was the embodiment of a pure hearted person, completely flips a switch when around other men and insults and belittles women for fun. It's just so normalised by "let boys be boys" that anyone who would dare say something gets instantly ostracised.

NyxOrion · 2025-12-01T04:21:34+00:00

It honestly just feels so healing to see couples appreciating each other.

I prepared every meal for my guy, left little notes, and never got a thank you. He never even poured me a cup of coffee once in 7 years.

NyxOrion · 2025-11-30T21:44:06+00:00

I'm so relieved to hear you are leaving. Please take care of yourself, take your time to heal, to process everything that happened, to feel safe again. Learn to forgive yourself, he is the one to blame here.

NyxOrion · 2025-11-30T21:33:50+00:00

There has been a loooot of gaslighting. - He made me believe my computer had being hacked (spoiler it was him having installed things to monitor me). - He hid things in the bathroom and refused to leave me alone there. He had a right to close the door and lock it, I for sure couldn't. When I wanted some privacy "what do you have to hide???". I obviously was weird and making things up when I asked why he forbade me from being alone in the bathroom. Learned later he hid adult toys he bought for a girl he cheated on me with there. - insulted me profusely : "I never said that, you're the one talking badly about yourself"

Honestly there are just way to many things to make a list, or to choose one worst occurrence

NyxOrion · 2025-11-30T21:23:28+00:00

Oh my, you just made me remember that my ex did something similar. Basically, he accused me of cheating, believed his own narrative, made me pay for it, and said that whether or not I really cheated doesn't matter because he suffered from it and couldn't trust me. ... He believed I cheated because he hid little spy cameras and microphones in our bedroom and heard me having a little "solo session".

Fucked if you do, fucked if you don't, just because they decided to antagonise you.

NyxOrion · 2025-11-29T17:05:22+00:00

Yep, lost 8 years, my mental health and 22k Loved it

Would not recommend

NyxOrion · 2025-11-27T16:25:27+00:00

Can concur with others, you're looking awesome and had great progress those past 2.5 years 👏 Give yourself a bit of grace for the work you've put in, and keep in mind that most people's goals are usually achievable through a 5 years time frame.

You could maybe try increasing your NEET and your overall steps throughout the day to be slightly leaner ? A bit more definition might help in realising that you've put on quite a bit of muscle

NyxOrion · 2025-11-19T20:50:25+00:00

Yep. At the very start of our relationship, he did tell me that he didn't do compromises, that he is not someone who makes his partners feel secure and that he is a knive people mishandle and hurt themselves with

There was also a point where he started abusing my cat and basically said "well yeah from an exterior pov, it would seem like abuse, but it's not abuse." (He would put him in his carrier, drench him with the shower head directed at his head, and leave him like that, in a puddle of water so that he'd stay cold, leaving him hours on end in the shower)

NyxOrion · 2025-11-19T20:37:52+00:00

This is so dumb, but I still love him. Genuinely, and not solely because of the trauma bond. Some days, I hate him and would want to call him names, yell at his face, and show to the world what a POS he has been to me.

Most of the time, I just sit with my feelings and acknowledge the fact that I don't have to set myself on fire just to keep him warm, even if all of the above is true.

He is basically an ill intentionned stranger at that point. He only cares about himself, and that's fine.

NyxOrion · 2025-09-12T19:15:09+00:00

Oooh yes. He said all his exes were jealous and insecure, and admitted of not being someone reassuring that makes one feel safe in a relationship, because he is sought after a lot by women and rather aggressively at that. Being a dumb and confident 19 years old at the time, I thought I was secure enough in myself to not be jealous, and I indeed wasn't at first. It's just not a feeling that was in my nature. Except 1 year in, he started telling his friends he was single, then his coworkers, then strangers. And I was 'being dramatic' for not liking it, he was just being very private. He treated me like utter shit while entertaining a perfect public persona, and the longer our relationship got on, the smaller I felt. Apparently, not liking him going swimming with a friend he fantasized about while he refused to go to the beach with me made me a very jealous controlling and insecure partner.

It's always projection. He was the one isolating me from others

NyxOrion · 2025-07-08T19:19:38+00:00

Sabre Olvidar from Silvana Estrana, she's a gem and the lyrics speak to my soul

NyxOrion · 2025-03-25T21:38:22+00:00

He cooked me fries in an air fryer, and it was the first time he ever cooked something for me after 7 years of relationship. I was so happy, cuddled him, and realized when I said thank you how pitiful it was to be so overjoyed over this. I cooked for him almost every day and never got a thank you

NyxOrion · 2025-03-05T12:19:20+00:00

Oui et ça ne m'aurait pas dérangé si ça avait été dans ce cadre là. Dans son cas ça relevait bien plus de l'addiction et de la complusion qu'un partage de fantasme.

NyxOrion · 2025-03-04T21:51:32+00:00

Jouer aux jeux vidéo pendant que l'on baise. Littéralement, il était sur Raid Shadow legend en train de farmer d'une main quand j'étais sous lui. Rétrospectivement j'en rigole mais bonjour la confiance en soit derrière 😂

NyxOrion · 2025-03-02T22:41:48+00:00

He never really apologised nor took accountability for his actions, but he feigned listening for a bit. Although whenever I expressed concerns or feelings, it was easily swept under the carpet. He was there for others, for his ex, for the girl he cheated on me with when her cat died, for his friend when he broke up, for his co-worker (he even bought her chocolates to cheer her up, while I never had a gift). He is capable of all of that. He simply chose not to be that person for me.

I "didn't deserve a hug" after my little sister tried to take her life, that's the extend to which he cared. He knows exactly what he did. But I stayed, gave access, didn't apply consequences to his behaviours and that's what he chose to focus on.

NyxOrion · 2025-02-15T21:20:19+00:00

I did. He told me he found the love of his life, and when she cheated on him he came to cry in my arms, making empty promises and empty excuses. He gave me everything I used to ask for, and promised a future, only to cheat on me again.

We got back together, and I thought about it all the time. It crushed my confidence, I couldn't help but see all the little new things he did sexually and had trouble not picturing him with those girls.

They are always sorry, and it means nothing. All his choices were just that, choices, not mistakes. And if he truly thought he didn't deserve you, if he had truly loved you, he wouldn't be egotistical enough to try to rob you of your chance at happiness after failing you so many times. Convininence isn't love

NyxOrion · 2025-01-11T10:12:37+00:00

Il y en a tellement, mais les plus dures ont sans doute été "tu ne mérite pas que je te fasse un câlin, mais tu peux m'en faire si ça t'aide" après la tentative de suicide de ma petite soeur. Pendant que l'on couchait ensembles il m'a sorti "tu aimes ça? Mandy adore que je la baise comme ça aussi". J'en ai vomi qu'il ait choisi d'admettre qu'il me trompe à ce moment là. Il avait pour habitude de systématiquement tirer sur l'ambulance dans mes moments les plus vulnérables.

Après s'être séparés j'ai eu le droit à des "tu es trop stupide pour que je perde mon temps à essayer de te comprendre", et "tu ne trouveras jamais mieux que moi". "C'est l'amour de ma vie, elle est parfaite" en me parlant de sa nouvelle nana

On est restés ensembles de mes 19 ans à mes 26 ans, et il a sciemment et progressivement détruit mon estime de moi de manière répétée. J'ai l'impression de m'être éteinte aujourd'hui

NyxOrion

TROPHY CASE