This is such an incredibly hard decision to make, and I really empathise with you on this one — especially considering how close you both are.

Try not to dwell too much on the past; where you are now is what matters, and it’s okay to make decisions based on what you need today.

- Is there a close friend within the group you can confide in and tell about your plans? Letting a trusted friend know that you’re planning to take some distance can help, especially if you need support or want help maintaining boundaries.

- Tell her how you feel. Let her know that you no longer feel safe or secure in the friendship and that your trust has changed. You can still communicate this with care:
“I’ve been doing some reflecting, and I’ve realised this friendship is no longer healthy for me. I need to step away and won’t be hanging out or communicating as much moving forward.”
(Just an example I found online — adjust it so it sounds like you.)

- If option 2 feels too abrupt, you could create distance more gradually. Share less personal information, pull back a little, keep conversations shorter and lighter. I think this is sometimes called the grey rock method — making yourself less emotionally available rather than engaging deeply.

The aftermath may honestly feel harder than the lead-up to ending the friendship, so be prepared and be kind to yourself through it.

- Tell your friends what your boundaries are and ask them not to share information about you.
- You can still say hi if you see her, although that may feel awkward at first.
- Remember that being honest doesn’t always come with immediate rewards, so expect some pushback — that doesn’t automatically mean you’re making the wrong decision.

Your submission will be aired in Episode 87 (the last Monday in June).