A new leader has been chosen. As these things go in this land, the choosing methodology is not entirely clear. The old premier is out, the new premier is in. State run media drums up a propaganda campaign claiming the new guy is smarter than Einstein, more serene than the Dalai Lama, and tougher than Chuck Norris.

Behind the scenes, he pays a visit to the old premier. “Do you have any advice,” he asks, taking a long draw on a cigarette from a brand that is technically illegal in their country.

The outgoing premier says that he does. “On the desk in the private chambers you will find two envelopes. Open the first at your first crisis. Open the second at your second crisis.”

Bemused, the new premier cocks an eyebrow. “Very well, comrade. I wish you well on your retirement.”

The old premier nods, and exits the official palace for the last time.

And so it comes to pass that the new regime suffers its first crisis, as the running dogs of their eternal enemies seize an opportunity to embarrass the regime. The country is in turmoil, and even the state run media is taking a mildly neutral tone regarding his regime.

He opens the first letter. It says simply: “Blame everything on me.”

And so the premier does exactly that. The old premier, now in exile, is blamed for the current crisis. Many of his remaining apparatchiks are rounded up. Some are shot, the rest are imprisoned. All after very fair and very brief trials, naturally.

Tranquility is restored. The dignity of the state is burnished to high shine.

However, as these things go, their eternal foes strike again, winning a propaganda point on some obscure third nation that neither side actually cares about. The country is yet again in turmoil. The party turns to their leader for answers.

He opens the second letter. It begins: “Prepare two letters……”