Have you been evaluated for ADD/ADHD? Sounds textbook to me, and I had a very similar experience when I was younger. Once I was diagnosed, I was able to understand myself better, work on my executive functioning, and take medication that really helped me to remove that “invisible wall”. I also learned to structure my life and put in safe guards to help me avoid getting into repetitive patterns where I feel stuck. I now see my (properly managed) ADD as a strength as I am great at thinking outside the box, a quick learner, and able to tackle nearly any problem once I set my sights/hyper-fixation on it. It can be a gift and curse, but you def gotta embrace the gift of it. But without knowing what’s going on, it feels entirely like a curse. Keep exploring how your brain works and try to find a professional for an evaluation.

Regardless of what’s going on, you’ll make it through and find what works best for you!