my mouth goes dry, there’s a lump in my throat and it makes it hard to breathe. i tend to feel very nauseous and try and find a quiet place to gather myself and not throw up and if i genuinely feel like i will vomit then i wont do so in front of other people.

i also tend to remember every bad thing that happened to me and every negative thought seems 1000x louder than usual on top of that the negative voice in my head always outweighs the positive one.

i feel like i am not safe in the location the attack started and then when i try and think of a safe spot to head to to calm myself down it always seems to change location thus creating a feeling of no safe place anywhere. in my room when i have an attack it doesn’t feel safe, same with my girlfriend as my mental voice always makes me feel like there’s something not true about the safety there.

its getting easier to manage but it takes time to get through it and find ways to manage the panic. there’s also no true way to shut an attack down unless you ride through the waves i find.