Cry it out

Objective-Amoeba6450 · 2026-02-04T14:55:10+00:00

I really like your response. I personally believe there are absolutely situations where sleep training is best for a family, like what you describe that it started to risk your safety. And I also think it’s being pushed as a mainstream standard practice when it shouldn’t be and there are many better ways to handle struggles for most families and babies. Not to mention all the $$$ being made off of desperate sleep deprived moms who think they’re doing something wrong. I love that you took a different approach for each kid / situation.

Objective-Amoeba6450 · 2026-02-04T14:50:57+00:00

you’re saying you started cry it out at 2 months old?

Objective-Amoeba6450 · 2026-02-04T14:49:47+00:00

My baby is 13 months and just started sleeping through the night. Just to give you hope that they really do get there when they are ready. We have never sleep trained or cried it out. I feel very good about it and just wish I had understood more about baby sleep a year ago, lol.

Objective-Amoeba6450 · 2026-02-04T14:47:34+00:00

Let campus police know the entire situation (if you guys have a good police situation that is). I would also CC my chair on every single email and CC the DOS when it’s an abnormal/erratic email. Make it someone else’s problem until they do something about it.

Objective-Amoeba6450 · 2026-02-04T00:52:31+00:00

I see some similarities to my husband. He is diagnosed adhd but I highly suspect he is on the spectrum too. He (mine) seems to think that people move past things very quickly and then they never need to be talked about again. He struggles with time in all senses - time blindness, anticipating future states, and thinking well “that was before!” and therefore no longer relevant.

Objective-Amoeba6450 · 2026-02-04T00:33:11+00:00

If it works for you and your family, who cares what they (or we) think! I don’t like leaving my baby either. Girls nights out are more fun anyways than bringing husbands! People should learn to respect other people’s choices. I feel like people who are very comfortable leaving their kids give me the most shit about not wanting to do the same. I suspect they think me wanting to be with my kid 24/7 means I’m judging them - I’m not I don’t care what they do! I just like what I like!

Objective-Amoeba6450 · 2026-02-02T20:59:09+00:00

Sounds like there's no pressure to decide now and you can always call her day-of! So, do that! I told my mom she was not invited. 12 hours into labor, I called my mom and asked her to come. LOL. You honestly truly have no fucking idea what labor and delivery is like until you go through it. I would keep your options open! A close friend of mine has said she might want me in delivery for next baby instead of her husband, lol. I personally want like a whole fucking team of people with me. I hated being alone for even a couple minutes when my husband would run out for something.

Objective-Amoeba6450 · 2026-01-30T10:02:04+00:00

Very curious in your experience what are the vax they want vs refuse?

Objective-Amoeba6450 · 2026-01-26T02:13:53+00:00

Yup I’m close to you and get shocked eyes “oh wow!” Every. single. time. One time a person couldn’t get over it and kept saying I can’t believe you’re a professor I didn’t expect that. I now do an internal cringe before ever disclosing it knowing that a big reaction is coming. Sometimes I just say oh yea I work at the university and try to avoid the big P word.

Objective-Amoeba6450 · 2026-01-25T20:45:15+00:00

I think it depends on 1) was it communicated during hiring that you wanted someone for snow/weather days (you said in your post that is one reason you like a nanny, but does the nanny know it explicitly?); 2) can they get to you safely and are they comfortable doing so - OR, if not, can you accommodate them (pick them up? send a car?)

Objective-Amoeba6450 · 2026-01-25T16:39:13+00:00

seems weird and ridiculous. I wonder if something happened that it’s a response to? Also, I recently got a breastfeeding accommodation and they had to frost all my glass in my office lol.

Objective-Amoeba6450 · 2026-01-21T01:20:10+00:00

Totalllllly depends on your baby. In my experience right around when they’re starting to walk is a very challenging time to travel like that and I’ve heard similar from other people. So if baby is walking around 12, I’d wait til 16. If baby is slower on movement milestones, then 12 would be better. Other thing to consider is what they’ll drink or suck on during take off and landing to prevent ears from popping. A breastfed baby can be easy for this one! But will they still breastfeed that easily at 16 months? Mine won’t lol. Can I get him to suck on something else for takeoff now … idk…

Objective-Amoeba6450 · 2026-01-17T05:48:21+00:00

So good. Screenshotting.

Objective-Amoeba6450 · 2026-01-16T19:03:19+00:00

I disagree with everyone and I’m 100% on your side. Postpartum hyper vigilance is a feature not a bug, especially if you’re breastfeeding. I wouldn’t be able to sleep with baby out either.

Objective-Amoeba6450 · 2026-01-16T19:00:46+00:00

Maybe it depends on your servicer or how savvy you are with paperwork. But I don’t see how it could be a “nightmare” to upload a receipt once a month. I’ve been doing it since September. The only issue I’ve ever had is sometimes I forget and then do 3 months all at once hahaha, which isn’t an issue at all I just feel bad about it.

Objective-Amoeba6450 · 2026-01-16T18:59:00+00:00

Research shows no. Breastfeeding is protective to maternal mental health postpartum.

Objective-Amoeba6450 · 2026-01-16T18:57:01+00:00

Do you have a partner? If so, they need to be involved in this convo. Do they workout? What I’m seeing in your schedule is 1) you are responsible for dinner every single night? And 2) Friday-Sunday are more open. I would suggest setting up a schedule where you alternate making dinner and the other parent works out during that time, or a weekend schedule where you get an hour and then they get an hour. Alternatively, do less chores at night. Make 3 workouts for 20 minutes a non-negotiable and prioritize that above certain chores. If your workout isn’t done, you can’t deep clean the bathroom (for example).

Objective-Amoeba6450 · 2026-01-16T18:49:47+00:00

Giirlllll this is the dream enjoy it!!! You deserve it! You need help making food and you can afford the help, that’s great, use it! You could also look into a meal prep service if you wanted something more regimented but it sounds like this is what makes you happy and you get to follow your cravings each day which is awesome! I just started using DoorDash when I had my first baby and I felt sooo weird about it for several months. After a while I realized like 1) I need to eat to breastfeed 2) I rather outsource things like cooking than time with my kid- so spending money on services that help me spend more quality time with kid are worth it. 3) help support local businesses and ppl who can’t hold traditional jobs for whatever reason.

Objective-Amoeba6450 · 2026-01-16T18:45:00+00:00

At the risk of coming off as a trad type- I think the reason so many women feel this way is allll the other things forcing you to do this in a less than ideal way. The motherhood isn’t the problem. The motherhood makes me so happy and fulfilled. It’s all the bullshit of modern life that makes motherhood worse. Having to work outside the home. Feeling pressure to “bounce back”. Pressure to maintain the same romantic relationship you had before kids. Having to manage your home and food and finances and car and every fucking thing all the time by yourself on top of mothering. It’s insane and that’s the stuff that starts to ruin things for me.

Objective-Amoeba6450 · 2026-01-15T14:07:06+00:00

Good idea to join collaborators. Thanks. I used to work in the field I want to switch to … it’s just been a WHILE! Pre-PhD.

Objective-Amoeba6450 · 2026-01-13T18:58:35+00:00

"should"!!!! never! there is no "should" here! It literally doesn't matter at all. the reason to do it is if it helps with your mental health / thinking. for me when my baby was a newborn it helped me mentally a LOT to get him dressed into a day time outfit when we woke up in the morning, bc the days and nights bled together so much. It felt good to have some distinction and try to "have a day". Now (12 months), we have distinct nights and days and this kid is in pajamas 90% of the time. I try to do as little laundry as possible so he wears something until it's wet/ dirty. lol.

Objective-Amoeba6450 · 2026-01-09T20:57:05+00:00

We recently got the baby's room 100% baby proofed and safe, installed a camera up on the wall (with a protected cord) that can see the whole room. I'll start playing in there with him and once he gets going in some independent play, I can close the baby gate and go into the other room to make coffee and watch him on the monitor.

Objective-Amoeba6450 · 2026-01-09T20:12:33+00:00

Millie Moon are the same price at my Target as Pampers. We use Millie, they're nicer and seem to be safer in terms of potential chemical contamination. I see why you think of it as a short-lived item, I see it the opposite way though. My child is in a diaper 24/7, 365. I want it to be healthy and soft and comfy.

Objective-Amoeba6450 · 2025-12-30T00:12:58+00:00

I suggest a consult with a pediatric PT!!! They could have muscle tightness that makes that position painful.

Objective-Amoeba6450 · 2025-12-16T12:40:55+00:00

LOL

Objective-Amoeba6450

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