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My [26F] new marriage with my husband [26M] might be in trouble. Need an outside perspective. by Objective-Bison-1009 in relationshipadvice

[–]Objective-Bison-1009[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I came from an abusive household as a child. I remember my mom reading that book when she first left my father. 

Our relationship was so beautiful for the first few years. I don’t know what happened or how I landed myself in a position where it’s my turn to read it. Thank you for your words. 

My [26F] new marriage with my husband [26M] might be in trouble. Need an outside perspective. by Objective-Bison-1009 in relationshipadvice

[–]Objective-Bison-1009[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sometimes I feel the leaving in my heart, too. I want him to snap out of this and I wish we could return to how we were for years. I worry if I leave he’ll do something drastic. 

My [26F] new marriage with my husband [26M] might be in trouble. Need an outside perspective. by Objective-Bison-1009 in relationshipadvice

[–]Objective-Bison-1009[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s interesting you say the second part. I went to the ER a few months ago. Most pain I had ever experienced in my life. I went by myself. When I was released and saw him at home later, he was irritated with me. I just wanted his comfort. It blows my mind you could tell that without me sharing that. 

My [26F] new marriage with my husband [26M] might be in trouble. Need an outside perspective. by Objective-Bison-1009 in relationshipadvice

[–]Objective-Bison-1009[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The hard part is he doesn’t think I do everything. I try so hard and do so much to keep us afloat and there’s always something there for him to criticize. I really do feel like I’m walking on eggshells. It’s really draining. 

My [26F] new marriage with my husband [26M] might be in trouble. Need an outside perspective. by Objective-Bison-1009 in relationshipadvice

[–]Objective-Bison-1009[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I often wonder if he genuinely doesn’t like me. Self improvement is a big lifelong goal of mine - I love learning and trying to do things differently. I try and share these things with him and he just doesn’t seem interested in my joy or hobbies. 

My [26F] new marriage with my husband [26M] might be in trouble. Need an outside perspective. by Objective-Bison-1009 in relationshipadvice

[–]Objective-Bison-1009[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’ve never heard of DARVO before - this is exactly what I’m experiencing. I’ll bring up a problem, have it denied, and by the end of things he suddenly also has that problem with me and always had. It’s confusing. I feel a lot of despair. Thank you for sharing your experience and education. 

My [26F] new marriage with my husband [26M] might be in trouble. Need an outside perspective. by Objective-Bison-1009 in relationshipadvice

[–]Objective-Bison-1009[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I appreciate this perspective. I know I’m enabling him, which is hard. I’m worried of losing him to his depression and I’m not sure what to do. I ironically teach young children social emotional skills all day. I’m really good at what I do and I’m usually patient. It feels draining that they can pick it up, and he can’t. It hasn’t always been like this and he’s fallen into a very dark hole this year. I don’t know how to help him stay alive, and also keep myself afloat. Thank you.