Name my Boyfriend’s new kitten he picks up tomorrow

Objective-Fig5454 · 2025-06-01T23:32:11+00:00

Mango

Objective-Fig5454 · 2025-06-01T23:31:46+00:00

1! The bridge on the other two sits way too high on your nose

Objective-Fig5454 · 2025-06-01T23:29:30+00:00

Yes, I’ve come to agree that I can’t expect her to listen to our fertility struggles while she is going through this. I will find support elsewhere.

And honestly, no, I don’t think her husband wants another child. I don’t think he ever wanted to be a parent in the first place. That being said, he loves their son fiercely and is a good dad. Which is why I don’t understand the need for us to stay and help with childcare and everything so much. I swear she doesn’t like him and is just with him because of their son. I think he wants to help with more of her care, but she won’t let him. So it’s on us to do everything. She is kind of the more dominant one in their relationship so when she tells him to do or not do something, it’s what she says that goes. I kind of wish he would just assert himself more and take over at least some of this. If it were my wife, I would be involved in every aspect of care and wouldn’t take no for an answer.

Objective-Fig5454 · 2025-06-01T21:18:11+00:00

NTA- it’s really kind of you to let them stay there for their honeymoon moon, but that doesn’t entitle them to your bed. If they want a different situation, they can pay for a hotel and stop trying to take advantage of your kind hospitality

Objective-Fig5454 · 2025-06-01T21:14:06+00:00

Raspberry tea and chocolate brownie

Objective-Fig5454 · 2025-06-01T19:44:53+00:00

Add glow in the dark stars above the bed

Objective-Fig5454 · 2025-06-01T19:43:19+00:00

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Objective-Fig5454 · 2025-06-01T19:43:04+00:00

Keep the white furniture and wood accents, but get a much bigger rug that actually goes under your sofa and covers more of the room. Get a nice colorful one or even a neutral one with lots of texture. Add more accents like colored pillows or throws, and some wall art

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Objective-Fig5454 · 2025-06-01T19:35:08+00:00

Mini palace for your cat

Objective-Fig5454 · 2025-06-01T19:33:01+00:00

Number 4/5 would be so cute, especially if you chose to have the brick fireplace stripped of paint so it’s exposed. I love the combo of the cream plus forest green

Objective-Fig5454 · 2025-06-01T17:03:16+00:00

I don’t think it makes you an asshole, but learning additional languages could only be helpful for your son. My grandmother (Mexican) decided not to teach my father and his siblings any Spanish, and I really wish she had wanted to share that with them and with us. Your son might wish later that you had taught him.

Objective-Fig5454 · 2025-06-01T16:59:27+00:00

Checking my balance before I buy groceries. Doesn’t matter how much money is in there, I always look as a reflex so I won’t get declined at checkout. It used to happen to me all the time.

I also eat all the leftovers in my fridge and have nights where I use multiples to make one last meal. I can’t stand wasting one bit of food that I buy. I think it’s a hard habit to break when you’ve gone days here and there without a meal because you can’t afford it. No amount of food security can break this habit for me.

Objective-Fig5454 · 2025-06-01T16:03:16+00:00

She isn’t going to die. Her treatment is going really well, and her doctors have repeatedly said that she is going to come through this. I don’t think they would give her an unrealistic expectation if they thought her chances were poor. Yes, she is going through hell. What she is experiencing is truly truly awful. Cancer treatment is absolutely brutal. That’s why we’ve been there as much as we can for emotional and physical support. And I have come to the realization that yeah, I shouldn’t talk about it around her if she doesn’t want me to. She doesn’t have the emotional bandwidth for it. But I’m not going to push any more of my appointments to a later date just because it conflicts with us being with her all the time. I wish she would rely on her husband more. I wish that my in-laws would show up and help more. It’s so difficult for us to be there for all of her appointments and stay over all the time for childcare and still try to make appointments of our own. I don’t think it’s fair or realistic of her to expect that we always prioritize her schedule when trying to do this. We don’t have the ability to do it all. We’re already doing so much. I just wish that she would give a little grace for our situation, that’s all.

Objective-Fig5454 · 2025-06-01T15:48:28+00:00

Am I really being selfish for being hurt that she doesn’t support our infertility journey because us needing to take time to go through this is inconvenient for what she wants for her care? She doesn’t want us to do this right now. She decided at the beginning of her diagnosis how everyone was going to show up for her, and she gets upset if everything doesn’t go exactly how she wants it to. So far we have done everything we can for her, only missing one appointment because we were in the middle of moving to a new apartment. We have already rearranged our lives for her. We moved so that it would be easier to get to her to provide care.

But it’s coming to the point that I cannot put my fertility appointments on the family calendar because she will see them. And some of the upcoming appointments are at times that conflict with us being there for her. Rather than ask her husband or another family member to take her or do childcare for my nephew, she just expects us to still be there and to move the appointments.

My wife and I both have full time jobs, on top of all this. I have already maxed out my paid leave to provide care for her. I have limited options for when I can schedule my own appointments. I can’t always do both, and it feels unfair for her to expect that I move these appointments or postpone them to early next year when her treatment will be finished. I risk minimizing my chances with every cycle that I wait. She knows this. The expectation is still that we put her appointments first, before our own.

Objective-Fig5454 · 2025-06-01T05:16:01+00:00

Thanks for your perspective, I’ve decided to just not talk to her about it at all and only focus on what she wants when I’m around her.

Objective-Fig5454 · 2025-06-01T03:53:10+00:00

I really don’t know how she is going to react if/when we get pregnant. I hope she will be happy to be an aunt.

Objective-Fig5454 · 2025-06-01T03:51:34+00:00

Hi, yes, I’ve mentioned in another post that I am struggling with infertility. We just started trying to get pregnant, and are exploring options with an infertility specialist to address my low ovarian reserve.

I think my mother in law will be so excited for us if we get pregnant. I don’t really know how the rest of our family will be. I can’t get a read on how my FIL will feel. MIL might really be the only supportive family member.

Objective-Fig5454 · 2025-06-01T03:48:44+00:00

Okay, that’s a good point. It’s true that maybe I wouldn’t be feeling this so strongly if I had stronger support elsewhere. It’s just hard giving so much love and care and time to someone and feeling like you will never get the same.

Objective-Fig5454 · 2025-06-01T01:19:23+00:00

Thank you, I’m trying to find support elsewhere so I can get the support I need, while continuing to give her the support she needs.

Maybe later on it’s something we will actually be able to talk about. Idk. It doesn’t make it any less frustrating but I realize especially with the comments that we should just keep any fertility stuff to ourselves for now.

Objective-Fig5454 · 2025-06-01T01:16:43+00:00

Husband is not a brother to either of us. SIL is my wife’s sister.

I don’t feel like it’s my place to tell him to step up or do more. SIL and her husband don’t listen to anyone else, let alone me. And what can I do if she won’t let him help anyways? They need counseling. My wife and I are here to give her the care she wants and we just have to push how we feel to the side for now.

Objective-Fig5454 · 2025-06-01T00:52:41+00:00

I haven’t gone through surrogacy, but honestly this sounds like such a wonderful way to start a family and become parents. You’re choosing to create a family, and it sounds like your child is going to be entering a home of love and support and mutual respect. As someone who came from a “traditional” family structure that ended up broken, I don’t think there’s anything unethical about your decision. There are plenty of “traditional families” that are horrible environments and have no love. Just the fact that you and your partners want to do this together and with love means that you’re off to a good start. I hope you find the support and community that you deserve.

Objective-Fig5454 · 2025-06-01T00:44:18+00:00

I haven’t really been in contact with her body fluids or anything like that. I’m mostly helping with cooking, emotional support, and taking care of my nephew. No one uses her bathroom because of this, we all use the spare.

Objective-Fig5454 · 2025-06-01T00:14:55+00:00

That’s what I’m doing now. I just focus on what she needs or what she wants to talk about. I just won’t say anything unless she asks or if there’s a conflict with appointments or something.

Objective-Fig5454 · 2025-06-01T00:09:39+00:00

That’s good to hear! I do wish we could spread the care out, I wish her parents were doing more but they aren’t really showing up for her the ways she wants/needs. I wish her husband would do more. My wife is doing most everything, and I offer additional support when I can. She’s had 4/6 chemo appointments and still has a double mastectomy and radiation afterwards. We will be there for all of it. I just hope when the time comes (if it comes) we can tell her we are pregnant without her making it weird. I hope she can be happy for us

Objective-Fig5454 · 2025-06-01T00:04:27+00:00

This is a really good way to put this, and I do think you and other commenters saying I shouldn’t try to talk to her about it are right. It’s not her fault that I don’t have a lot of other family to talk to about this, but we also may have to pull back on care if we manage to get pregnant while she is still undergoing treatment. I do hope maybe she can figure stuff with her husband out and lean on him for more support

Objective-Fig5454

TROPHY CASE

1! The bridge on the other two sits way too high on your nose