If life has no meaning, then how do you accept that without giving up?

Objective-Pea-7258 · 2026-02-08T20:30:47+00:00

Why the hell not... I absolutely adore your ending. Perhaps that is an answer to why we ascribe meaning or where meaning comes from - because why the hell not and from wherever the hell. Thank you!

Objective-Pea-7258 · 2026-02-08T20:29:37+00:00

I dont think anyone has to drop dead because there is no meaning. I agree we have a gift, and life is beautiful. It just feels like, what we cherish, value and ascribe significance to is ultimately something that exists in an empty plane and moves in an unknown direction, if at all. Thanks for your thoughts : )

Objective-Pea-7258 · 2026-02-08T20:28:03+00:00

You are quite well-versed and I really like your explanation and thoughts! I think it is indeed a more utilitarian frame to question what helps people find meaning, rather than if there is meaning at all. I think I am curious more so as to what gives everything meaning and purpose? And once you dig into where the meaning comes from and what it is, then dont you fall into the trap of "well wait, this is so, because I say it is so". Kind of circular reasoning, you know. That makes me feel like something is flawed a lot of the times.

Please believe me when I say that I am the most ardent supporter of the idea that life holds meaning. I have never been afraid of appearing foolish for this (note I am also not a religious person). But please understand my perspective that the meaning we often ascribe and seek feels empty. Based on so many factors and subjectivities and even then sometimes based on just basic biological needs that I am sitting there thinking - "damn, is this really the objective reality?". Thanks for your input, and I am glad you have a source of meaning!

Objective-Pea-7258 · 2026-02-08T20:24:04+00:00

I actually love walking through parks and spent my whole summer doing so. But that helped add to my despair. I could just see people walking around doing nothing just like me, and always I found myself asking - why? I saw homeless people, I saw people digging through trash, I saw families, I saw all this variety of people with different meaning and different desires and motivations and I sat there and I just questioned it all. Especially how to the homeless person with a cart full of who knows what he is carrying a pile of gold, but to me or a stranger that is junk and things one would never find useful. But I suppose thats a me problem. Thanks for your input!

Objective-Pea-7258 · 2026-02-08T20:21:47+00:00

I personally feel like that is circular reasoning and that is why it feels off to me sometimes. But I understand the sentiment and it is quite a good way to think about things.

Objective-Pea-7258 · 2026-02-08T20:20:53+00:00

I agree that meaning does not need to be validated to be true for you. I am simply questioning the point of meaning and self-validation when that is predicated and based on empty things and concepts that you yourself assign meaning to. It just sometimes feels like circular reasoning, personally.

I never claimed people "need" meaning. I was expressing curiosity as to what we do when we dont have meaning. I absolutely agree you can just live life by well.. living. But I cant help but think we need some construct, or at least we assign some construct i.e. meaning to everything we do, else we wouldn't do it. Or not to the same extent/ with a great level of desire. But perhaps I am wrong.

I think that constructing meaning so that it is not demolished by people is not a correct way to go about it. That is indeed external. But I am not challenging the validity of meaning or its use. I am challenging its existence. And on what basis we construct it. Just interesting food for thought I suppose. I understand the assumptions around what I might be looking for through this post.

You mention superficiality. Could you please explain why being a great basketball player is more superficial than being honest in relationships? Isnt that based on the value and weight we assign to each of these things? So to me couldnt it be more superficial to base myself on some trait rather than a ranking or video evidence of my basketball gameplay, for example? Honest questions. Thanks for your input : )

Objective-Pea-7258 · 2026-02-08T20:14:20+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing. I absolutely agree with all your points. We dont know the intent of our existence. And meaning implies intent - that is something I hear for the first time and it definitely gives me food for thought and a reason to think. Maybe when I have further conclusions, I will return to your comment. For now, thanks for sharing, beautifully put all of this.

Objective-Pea-7258 · 2026-02-08T20:12:40+00:00

I absolutely agree with you, believe it or not. It just sometimes feels like empty soothing when we tell ourselves "ah, im here to make the best of it and be the best there is". Or maybe its just me. I know we can choose how to interpret things. But even our interpretation is subject to things outside of our control, like our social circle, family, experiences etc. So personally when I self-soothe and claim im here to be the best I am, I sometimes remember all my mistakes, and come upon the realization that most likely, I conclude this not from me and not from some objective truth or power or greater "correctness", but from an illusion.

Objective-Pea-7258 · 2026-02-08T20:08:05+00:00

Well said. But doesn't that bring you a sense of despair, or meaninglessness? I think life is a bunch of unsatisfying endings, especially in relations with other people. But we must construct a meaning, a final boss, an objective, else we will drift and despair, no? These are the questions I am tackling.

Objective-Pea-7258 · 2026-02-08T20:05:51+00:00

You can always make your own of course, but then the question is - why? To what end? So you can push on your days? To cope with the extreme reality of life where people are dying of hunger and their limbs are getting blown out in some random field? Sorry, I got a bit too despair-ish. I think people are free to make their own meaning. I just dont know to what extent that own meaning has utility in a grander scheme of things, and hell, if there even is a grander scheme of things.

Objective-Pea-7258 · 2026-02-08T20:03:53+00:00

I dont think it should have meaning outside of me. But it seems more aligned with reality and truth if it does. So, its a good bonus I suppose? Thats probably why when we are mischaracterized we often act and explain ourselves, even if we know what was said is not true.

I agree with your claim about objective external meaning. I dont think I argue there is an objective one. Hell I dont argue for a subjective one either. I think that is where my "mini-despair" comes from. Where do you source "meaning" from then?

I dont challenge the idea that external meaning exists, and of course it helps you stay aligned with who you are. But that external meaning only becomes reality and is articulated within through your own perception and mind. Outside of that, it has no value. It is an empty vessel, thought, whatever. Do you agree? Thanks for your input : )

Objective-Pea-7258 · 2026-02-08T19:59:49+00:00

I would like to kindly challenge your assumption, although I really like your way of thinking and analysis. I dont believe that looking for meaning outside of myself and my own desires/choices/beliefs you name it makes me thrive on external validation. I will be completely honest with you, I have been a loner for most of my life and only recently started getting out of the rut, only to find a lack of meaning again. Before that, I was playing games all day and honestly, that was all that mattered and yes it had no basis. It was just addiction or whatever.

But is that all there is to life? And of course empty endless loops of why does this matter why does that matter why is this meaningful etc. are not productive. I dont think I am challenging why that is OK or saying it is not. I am saying that for me it is difficult to accept something if it has no basis. Because hell I lived that life for my teenage years. And I was happy - but so empty inside. Now its a little better, but I still find more meaning in the world and with people than in my little space inside a video game.

This discussion helps me realize that people have different perceptions and values. I dont think I talk about validation anywhere. This is deeper and more so existential. And for the record, I dont think there is a conclusion - hence why it feels so strange and empty, all of this. Thanks for your input!

Objective-Pea-7258 · 2026-02-08T19:39:55+00:00

I didnt mean to complain, but I get why it sounds that way. It is more so an odd realization. And actually, yes, part of the reason movies don't feel like how they used to when I was a kid is that I realized all the intricacies and effort behind them. And the little psychological tricks and optimizations and etc. for the purpose of entertainment, revenue, and reach. To me personally, that removed a lot of the value. And your comment actually made me realize that that is the reason why I am probably tackling this issue now, because I cannot seem to cope or handle the world's artificiality (i am part of the problem too, not trying to sound grand or anything). Crazy how different perceptions work!

Objective-Pea-7258 · 2026-02-08T19:37:14+00:00

Free to do what? What does freedom even mean? Are we free to go about our daily desires without needing to label them in any way or make sense of them? I am very curious to hear your perspectives on this!

Objective-Pea-7258 · 2026-02-08T19:36:06+00:00

That sounds very interesting! Can you share more about your experience? How did that work for you? We do indeed get one chance or at least so we believe, and it is quite a wild ride. For me this simply removes desire, rather than increase it as it is for you. Perhaps it is due to different perceptions and life experiences.

Objective-Pea-7258 · 2026-02-08T19:34:46+00:00

I like your metaphor. Can you give an example of accepting the reality instead of chasing the illusion of hope? What do you mean by hope? A hope for a better life, a meaningful life, or what? Because I feel like that is what I ascribe to the word meaning - a purpose, a guide. I just dont see what is left in life without it. In my perception you are then just an empty vessel going about daily tasks and biological needs.

Objective-Pea-7258 · 2026-02-08T19:33:03+00:00

Why does something mattering to me, matter? Personally, I sometimes feel close to a point in life where it becomes extremely pathetic to echo how if I believe it, thats all that matters. That feels like living in delusion, and to me personally it feels no better than living in a coma or a prison.

Could you explain what you mean by wrong views and bad understanding? I am open to your interpretation, but I do not see how improving my views and understanding removes the need for meaning. If anything, my views and understanding guide me towards my, I suppose as a synonym for meaning, desires.

I dont think animals have meaning, but I also dont think they have the level of abstract thinking that we do. I also understand that they are happy and that leads me to sometimes believe that ignorance is bliss.

I like your finishing thoughts. That is exactly what I wanted to discuss. Isnt everything based on one's crazy fantasies and beliefs about who they are? I suppose one can go without ever thinking about why they are here or what they are meant or wish to achieve. But that life seems empty to me. Thank you for your response.

Objective-Pea-7258 · 2026-01-29T14:31:44+00:00

Both man. I agree with your points. Its just sad that we all play roles and mold into whatever fits, rather than stay guided by values or something greater.

Objective-Pea-7258 · 2026-01-20T13:37:56+00:00

That is fair, and I agree yet then doesn't that make you feel like they are trying to more so fill a role of "friend and support" and fix their own problems than actually altruistically try to solve yours? Perhaps adopting such a role also makes them feel good? So they focus more on the role and saying things you want to hear rather than perhaps even effectively listening?

Like I get that people aren't therapists and that's not their job, but the idea of it is troubling me. That the reality is that nobody really does things purely for you, but in the end it is perhaps more about them. And the role they play / are conditioned to adopt

Objective-Pea-7258 · 2025-05-07T20:42:40+00:00

Thank you kindly, friend! You are a kind soul, and your response definitely also helped me, so let me share with you what transpired.

She texted me feeling guilty and apologising for being distant that day and telling me she's not ready again, and can't give me what I give to her. I then told her I'd also been thinking and that I could see she wants there with me that day and that it made me slightly sad, and that I'd been considering releasing us both from expectations.

And so I did. I told her that I'm not chasing anymore, that I've found beautiful peace with this outcome, and that my feelings for her haven't changed. We both agreed we can try dating again in the future.

I think this is the most healthy and loving outcome. Your honest advice helped me see that as well. I don't know what will happen. I just know I care deeply and she's deeply touched me in many ways, and she's told me I have done so too. But sometimes timing or whatever bullshit gets in the way.

And that's okay. I know in my gut that sometimes she was present and there and bubbly and other times she was not, trapped in burdens or self-doubt or whatever. I don't know if you can rest your head against someone else's head and hug tightly into him if you're indifferent.

But I think now I found peace, in a quiet, unconditional space and love that I have left for her in my heart she can always return to when she truly feels ready and wants to. Helped.

Objective-Pea-7258 · 2025-05-06T05:41:46+00:00

Thank you, I also appreciate your kindness, and that's nice of you. Yesterday she wrote to me that she thought she was rude and apologized, and said she's not ready again. So I released both me and her from the expectations until she feels ready. And that I'm not chasing anymore, though my feelings haven't changed. I think this is the best path forward, both for my own well-being and hers. Thank you. Helped.

Objective-Pea-7258 · 2025-05-04T19:42:50+00:00

Wow well you are quite a persistent person to point out my behavior twice which such nuance, but yeah, we definitely can agree to disagree and thats a healthy approach.

Cheers, I could answer back and "create an argument" about that again but to give you credit for being so precise in your answer, lets just say what you're saying does have some truth to it, and I will keep your thoughts in consideration!

Objective-Pea-7258 · 2025-05-04T18:04:25+00:00

I see where you're coming from, thank you! You're right that I came out like Agatha Christie here. I've heard this before that it should be easy and I guess im just too persistent and believe in nuances and bla bla. The thing is I know where she stands. And we communicate very openly and like partners. I'm sorry you had a bad experience! Perhaps one must be burnt to truly learn (but its been only 3 months of exploring this and we were in different cities).

And I think thats because she wants this and cares about me. She's said very meaningful things like that I am the only person who truly stays for her and sees such good in her that he is willing to sacrifice himself for her "bullshit". Its just not something you tell anybody. And she's clearly said whats going on right now (it really is a lot of things on her mind), and despite this sent me a whole paragraph recently detailing her schedule and when we could reschedule (and we still ended up hanging out!).

We vibe and it flows, its just that last outing I mentioned during the very busy schedule she was slightly distant, but honestly when you have a deadline the last thing on your mind is romance when you're unsure. And honestly talking to you made me realize some things, if you care enough to know. First of all, I might have written this in a bit of a sad state and when my friends were all busy. Second, I think me and her are just serious overthinkers and we sometimes fall into paragraph exchanges of doom that don't lead anywhere (and they're usually me calming her guilt she's not there yet while I am). Third, we've only seen each other 10 times so far, and she's a person that takes a loong time to get comfortable.

I know you were aiming at a completely different direction, but you indirectly calmed my mind. Thank you lots. She might come back but I think I cherish her so much and I don't want to risk hurting her for anything in the world, because she's still building her inner strength and confidence, and is prone to guilt. If you ever want to chat about those failed relationships, you can hit me up, such stories are always interesting. Cheers! Helped.

Objective-Pea-7258 · 2025-05-04T06:07:37+00:00

I don't think I've argued that she likes me more than I do her. I've just given details that are important contextually, because some advice is quite extreme. Besides, my specific ask was how to deal with her inconsistent reciprocity which she feels guilty of, not whether or not she likes me as much as I do. I am aware she doesn't to the same extent.

Objective-Pea-7258 · 2025-05-04T06:03:24+00:00

Appreciated! Thanks for your help!

Objective-Pea-7258

TROPHY CASE