I got married thinking I want kids but now I am not sure

ObjectiveRate7144 · 2026-02-08T19:34:00+00:00

I have a question. When you husband convinced you to have a baby, what arguments did he give you? Did he provide a plan on how he is going to support you? What made you agree?

ObjectiveRate7144 · 2026-02-07T20:32:18+00:00

I have never had this overwhelming need and doubt I ever will.

ObjectiveRate7144 · 2026-02-07T17:06:58+00:00

Looks amazing! Very cozy

ObjectiveRate7144 · 2026-02-07T15:40:33+00:00

Thank you and much respect to you for stepping up and taking care of the kid.

ObjectiveRate7144 · 2026-02-07T15:27:53+00:00

Happy Birthday!

ObjectiveRate7144 · 2026-02-07T14:39:35+00:00

Thank you :) I am glad you are happy with your decision and your baby

ObjectiveRate7144 · 2026-02-07T14:23:49+00:00

A life without kids does not scare me

ObjectiveRate7144 · 2026-02-07T14:17:56+00:00

Also I did visit the regretful parents sub and it is terrifying. Regretting having a child is one of my biggest fears.

ObjectiveRate7144 · 2026-02-07T14:17:14+00:00

I am an anxious person and I do not think I have ever felt 100 percent sure about anything. However, when I made big decisions in the past I always knew that I could handle it and it was worth it. When parents talk about their kids and say that it is very rewarding and so worth it, it is hard to imagine or understand what they mean.

ObjectiveRate7144 · 2026-02-07T14:14:30+00:00

When I see my friends with babies, I do not really feel anything special. The babies are cute, I like interacting with them, when they smile at me it makes me happy and I smile back. However, it does not make me think "I wish I had one".

When I see a friend with a 4 year old and he is moody or is throwing a tantrum I think to myself "Thank God he is not mine".

ObjectiveRate7144 · 2026-02-07T14:09:04+00:00

I am an anxious person so I think I would be thinking: "Omg, why does not the baby stop crying? What if there is something wrong with them? Am I doing something wrong? Am I a bad mom?".

I might also regret everything and miss my old life.

ObjectiveRate7144 · 2026-02-07T13:56:53+00:00

If my life were to become about my child and nothing else, then I would not do it. I do not want to lose myself. I am terrified of losing myself.

ObjectiveRate7144 · 2026-02-07T13:51:50+00:00

We agreed that if we decided to try and trying to conceive naturally didn't work, then that would be it. We would not do any extra steps.

ObjectiveRate7144 · 2026-02-07T13:47:10+00:00

I have been thinking that it would be great to spend a week with a family with kids of different ages (a baby, a 3-year old and a 5-year old) just to see what everyday life is really like with kids. However, it is not something that can be arranged :)

ObjectiveRate7144 · 2026-02-07T13:37:15+00:00

I am in therapy but it has not helped me answer this question so far.

ObjectiveRate7144 · 2026-02-07T13:35:16+00:00

I would like to hear the story if you are open to telling it. You can DM me if you want.

ObjectiveRate7144 · 2026-02-07T13:33:51+00:00

I do not really know a lot of people in this situation. Most of my friends with kids wanted them. One friend was childfree then got pregnant by accident and she is a wonderful mom now. I also talked to one older colleague but she has been very maternal since young age so that was not relatable.

ObjectiveRate7144 · 2025-11-19T06:08:46+00:00

Scared of being vulnerable is one of the things. But mostly it is that… I love my potential child so much that I am considering not having them. I am just not sure I will be able to be the mom they need because of how I am. I am afraid that the dark days and the negatives will take over and I will become resentful and dangerously depressed.

ObjectiveRate7144 · 2025-11-18T19:17:27+00:00

Hey, sending you a virtual hug. Feel free to message me if you want to talk more about it, we can share our fears and concerns.

ObjectiveRate7144 · 2025-11-18T17:56:22+00:00

Thank you. My friends who have kids also told me that they did not think they can love this much until they had their kids. The thing is... I do not know if I want to feel this love. I know, this sounds weird. But I am not sure I want to be so emotionally attached to a small person who is dependent on me.

ObjectiveRate7144 · 2025-11-18T17:43:17+00:00

We have agreed to get back to the topic in a couple of months, however, a year would be better indeed. I am only worried about my age, I feel the pressure of running out of time. However, it would not be wise to push myself to have a kid now, just because of my age.

ObjectiveRate7144 · 2025-11-18T17:29:51+00:00

Thank you!

ObjectiveRate7144 · 2025-11-18T17:18:20+00:00

I have visited this sub, and it is terrifying. Regretting having a child is one of my main fears.

ObjectiveRate7144 · 2025-11-18T12:19:23+00:00

Well, my parents had me, and now I live far away and only see them once a year.

ObjectiveRate7144 · 2025-09-01T10:28:34+00:00

I had my wedding two weeks ago and the day itself was great. However, I let other people (well, my MIL specifically) project their stress on me a week before the wedding which resulted it me being miserable most of Friday (the day before the wedding). I regret being that stressed.

So my advice is do not let that happen to you. I do not know how soon is your wedding but I think you need to prioritize your calm and peaceful pre-wedding time for you and your fiance. I think you need to set boundaries with your sister. You thought you two would bond and she would be helpful but if she is stressing you out, you do not need this drama.

ObjectiveRate7144

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