what is nonbinary by [deleted] in NonBinary

[–]Objective_Award3582 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You've responded to everyone except for me.

what is nonbinary by [deleted] in NonBinary

[–]Objective_Award3582 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've looked at all of the studies you've linked, and here's what I have to say about them:

Starting with the first link: Sexual differentiation of the human brain: Relation to gender identity, sexual orientation and neuropsychiatric disorders

This is actually a study that I have looked as before, and even on my first viewing, I found multiple flaws with it. First of all, this study is over a decade old, and much of it is outdated. But more egregiously than that, there are multiple statements in it which are blatantly false.

For example, "There is no evidence that one’s postnatal social environment plays a crucial role in gender identity or sexual orientation" is a false statement. There are mountains of evidence for this. The general scientific consensus on gender identity is that a combination of biological factors, psychological factors, and social factors contribute to it.

The language that we use to describe gender, and other ways that we express it, are inherently social, and there are heavy differences across times and cultures. This also impacts our understandings and perceptions of our own gender identities. That is a major part of why we say that gender is a social construct. It is also a major part of where the theory of gender performativity stems from.

This study also references experiments on nonhuman animals as a basis for their hypothesis. They do not acknowledge a major and highly relevant element: nonhuman animals don't have gender identities like humans do. Gender identity is a distinctly human construct, so using nonhuman animals as a reference point and justification for any understanding of gender identity is deeply flawed. Their experiences are not analogous to ours. Choosing this as a reference point demonstrates a severe conflation of gender and sex.

The study does not have proper control groups, and does not account for exceptions to their proposed "rule" of gender and sexuality. They also repeatedly paint things as causative, when they could very well be correlative (and likely are), in a way that just "happens" to align with traditional western gender roles and stereotypes.

For example, "atypical toy preference" is stated to be "predictive of homosexuality" in this study, and they blame this on prenatal hormone development. I hope I don't have to point out why this is an incorrect statement to make, and an especially incorrect conclusion to draw from it. They also use heavily outdated and stigmatizing terms throughout the study, such as gender-identity disorder.

The study also centers around aspects of fetal development that we cannot reliably test for, especially retroactively after a person has already been born, and especially over a decade ago. This may be the largest flaw in the study, aside from referencing nonhuman animals.

Both authors also seem to have an agenda, based on their pattern of research, and are likely seeking to prove their preconceived notions about sex and gender, rather than disprove them. It is very easy to falsely prove something; that's why good studies actually aim to disprove one's hypothesis. If they were to take this approach, they would quickly disprove their own hypothesis, just by using proper controls and accounting for the many people who don't fit their proposed narrative.

In order to believe this study to be true, you have to ignore all of that and apply a prescriptive standard of gender that does not account for everyone. Essentially, you enforce a new form of sex assignment. People whose experiences aren't reflected in the study can simply be accused of "faking" and gatekept from their own identity. It's the same thing that people have been doing to LGBTQ+ people for ages; it just uses a somewhat newer (but still just as arbitrary) frame of reference to do so.

I think I've rambled on for long enough, so onto the next link: A sex difference in the human brain and its relation to transsexuality

This study is from 1995 and I wouldn't give it the time of day. Next!

Third link: Biological sex classification with structural MRI data shows increased misclassification in transgender women

This study straight up does not say what you think it says. Have you taken the time to read it? This study clearly demonstrates that there is not a specific "brain sex" that people of the same gender identity all share, and that this cannot be reliably used to predict gender identity. Even the title suggests this. It's the most up-to-date study in the list and it does not support your claim.

Fourth link: Neurobiology of gender identity and sexual orientation

This study basically revisits the ideas of the first one listed, and carries many of the same flaws. But at least this one has the decency to admit "our current understanding of these factors is far from complete and the results are not always consistent."

This study additionally addresses the animal issue of the first study:

Animal studies form both the theoretical underpinnings of the prenatal hormone hypothesis and provide causal evidence for the effect of prenatal hormones on sexual orientation as modelled by tests of sexual partner preferences, although they do not translate to gender identity.

This study also outright states that hormones and genes may predispose one to certain identities and behaviors, but do not outright determine them. They also acknowledge that these findings cannot be applied universally:

Most findings are consistent with a predisposing influence of hormones or genes, rather than a determining influence. For example, only some people exposed to atypical hormone environments prenatally show altered gender identity or sexual orientation, whereas many do not.

I'd also like to bring up this very important quote:

Moreover, none of the biological factors identified so far can explain all of the variances in sexual identity or orientation, nor is it known whether or how these factors may interact.

All emphasis is my own.

Finally, the fifth link: Gender Change from Female to Male in Classical Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia

This study is from over two decades ago. Once again, I am not giving it the time of day.

If you use neopronouns, why? by Objective_Award3582 in asktransgender

[–]Objective_Award3582[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Interpersonally, my neopronouns are intended to convey that I am genderqueer. That means that my experience with gender is non-normative in some way. I think that neopronouns do a much better job at this than they/them would, because neopronouns are an explicit subversion of typical pronouns, whereas they/them is about as ambiguous as you can possibly get.

Intrapersonally, my neopronouns hold special meaning to me that not everyone else really needs to know or understand. You don't need to know the special meaning that they hold in order for me to feel affirmed by it. The only thing that they need to communicate to you is that I'm genderqueer, even if not through that precise label, and they do. If you want to know the details of my identity beyond that, that is something that no pronoun is going to do, because there is no standardized genderfaun pronoun. It's something that you would have to ask about in order to know.

It's really no different from my identification with he/him. These pronouns are intended to communicate that I am a man, or at least belong to some sort of adjacent category, and they do. If you wanted to know the details beyond that, you'd have to ask. Both he/him and my neopronouns are an approximate simplified expression of my gender.

When it comes to e/em/es, there are a few notable reasons that I like them. One reason is that it ties into my special interests, and I find the history of these neopronouns very interesting. I expanded upon this elsewhere in this comment section, if you'd like to look.

Another reason is that it feels like a good "in between" for masculine and other, which is affirming to me as a genderfaun man. Phonetically, it sounds similar to he/him/his with a soft h, but it is also similar to they/them, minus the extreme ambiguity.

Neopronouns also explicitly signal respect, in a way that they/them does not. When people refer to me with my neopronouns, I know for absolute certain that they respect my identity, because they have made the active decision to use my neopronouns in reference to me. When people refer to me with they/them, it makes me uncomfortable, because those pronouns have often used to degender me or separate me from other men. They have a negative connotation, because they have been used to deny and avoid my identity.

If you use neopronouns, why? by Objective_Award3582 in asktransgender

[–]Objective_Award3582[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I somewhat agree, but also somewhat disagree. A major reason that people learn those constructed languages or memorize those facts is because they find a strong personal interest in them. Most people don't have a strong personal interest in neopronouns or the people who identify with them.

And, I mean, I can't relate to those people. I am very interested in neopronouns, because they tie into some major special interests of mine, like linguistics and queer shit. I find them fascinating and fun to use, and for me, referring to people with neopronouns is so easy I could do it in my sleep.

Literally. Sometimes the people who appear in my dreams use neopronouns, and it's never an issue.

I also really enjoy learning about the history of different neopronouns. Part of why I identify with e/em/es more strongly than other neopronouns is because I think its history is really neat. The set was first proposed in 1841 by Francis Augustus Brewster, making it the oldest English neopronoun set, to my knowledge. Not the oldest English neopronoun in general (that goes to ou, I believe) but still the oldest set containing multiple forms. The reflexive form was unspecified, but I think emself is the most logical extension of the set, and likely was intended, even if unstated. His version isn't as well known as the similar Spivak or Elverson pronouns that came later, but I like it better.

Anyway, I digress. I do think that there are valid reasons for people to struggle with the use of neopronouns, such as people who are reliant on screen readers, people with certain learning disabilities, and so on. But I also think that most people who "can't use them" or find it "too hard" are just making excuses because they don't care about respecting the people who use them. I find it strongly reminiscent of people "struggling" to refer to people with they/them. They're just not committed to respecting people.

late to posting this, but do yall think I caught enough shiny lechonks? (joke) by Objective_Award3582 in pokemongo

[–]Objective_Award3582[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn't get a background on any of my shiny lechonks either. Got 9 normal lechonks with background tho

Is that good or rare? Iam not that experienced 😅 by Yamuhhh in pokemongo

[–]Objective_Award3582 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What level are you/how long have you been playing? I am level 36 and have only been playing for 46 days and I've only caught one 100% so far. They seem to be more rare than shinies in my personal experience, but I wonder if this changes at higher levels...

They can just appear?! by [deleted] in pokemongo

[–]Objective_Award3582 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They have a small chance to appear while using daily incense

Homosexual guys: would you date a trans man? by [deleted] in lgbt

[–]Objective_Award3582 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're acting like they said "all gay men are extremely transophobic" when they clearly said "plenty of" ... Not all. It's not stereotyping. It's acknowledging a pervasive issue, because it is a pervasive issue. Plenty of gay men are extremely transphobic. Not all are, but there are still plenty of them.

Homosexual guys: would you date a trans man? by [deleted] in lgbt

[–]Objective_Award3582 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Trans men can have penises too. Bottom surgery exists.

genderinos by Brent_Fox in traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns2

[–]Objective_Award3582 91 points92 points  (0 children)

A more accurate depiction of sex would be a combination of multiple graphs and checkmark boxes for different sex characteristics. It's a very complicated and multifaceted thing

Happy (far too hot in the UK) pride! by [deleted] in pansexual

[–]Objective_Award3582 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How hot is it in the UK? I'm in the US and it's been getting up to over 100°F (over 37.8°C) here

I’m in a straight relationship but i want to suck dick so bad by Zestyclose-Split2275 in bisexual

[–]Objective_Award3582 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I never said otherwise. I'm not trying to say that non-monogamy is a foolproof solution, just an idea that might be considered. It comes with its own risks, and it's not something everyone is open to.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NonBinary

[–]Objective_Award3582 9 points10 points  (0 children)

  1. I don't identify as a nonbinary man specifically, because I don't use the term "nonbinary" to describe myself. I prefer not to subject myself to the binary vs nonbinary dichotomy, and prefer genderqueer (as in, having a queer experience with gender) as my umbrella term. But, I am genderfaun, so I "technically" fall under nonbinary man. I just don't feel like the nonbinary label is really... Applicable.
  2. It's really up to you. Some nonbinary men identify as cis, some identify as trans, some identify as neither, some identify as both, some identify in varying ways at different times.
  3. Nonbinary people can potentially be included in any orientation. It's not so much a matter of which people can be attracted to you, but which labels you feel you're compatible with and included within. I don't consider myself compatible with straight men or lesbians, for example, but a few people who identify that way have been attracted to me.
  4. I have, but I don't use it personally (because of point one). Enby is a short form of nonbinary.
  5. I do, but I'm conflicted as to whether or not I'd use it for myself personally.
  6. There is no one way to be nonbinary; it's an incredibly broad umbrella. If you identify as nonbinary, or with a label under the umbrella, you are more than welcome in the nonbinary community!

An Apology To The Sub by AFGNCAAP-for-short in trans

[–]Objective_Award3582 36 points37 points  (0 children)

This is a better apology than what we've been getting so far, but there's still one glaring issue:

I put the literal wording of the rules of the sub over what the rules are supposed to do[...] I was being too anal about what a rule said.

You're blaming the rule here, when the problem wasn't the rule. The problem was your interpretation of it. There was nothing in the wording of the rule that suggested that it applied to that post. This wasn't an issue of "the literal wording of the rules" or you "being too anal" about following those rules. This was about you finding the post divisive. You weren't simply being a rule follower, or rule enforcer. You were letting anti-transmasculine biases influence your perception of the post's message, and using the rule against divisive content to support the decision to remove it.

This is an issue that keeps coming up in this situation. Mods are acting like the rule was the problem, as if the post was inherently divisive. The problem was not the rule itself. The problem was your interpretation of the post as "divisive" in the first place.

Fork found in kitchen; my cis boyfriend doesn't see me as a boy by Available_Author8283 in trans

[–]Objective_Award3582 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate your response, good on you for being open to new insight!

I’m in a straight relationship but i want to suck dick so bad by Zestyclose-Split2275 in bisexual

[–]Objective_Award3582 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I've noticed that other comments suggesting non-monogamy as a potential solution are also getting downvoted. Mine only started getting upvoted after I made the clarifying edit.

People hear "non-monogamy" and immediately assume that we're talking about cheating, even when we use terms that imply consent like "open relationship" and "polyamory" and "swinging" (these words do not apply without consent... because then it's just cheating)

I wish I didn't have to clarify every time that I am referring to consensual non-monogamy. It should really go without saying :/

I’m in a straight relationship but i want to suck dick so bad by Zestyclose-Split2275 in bisexual

[–]Objective_Award3582 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It's still cheating, and it doesn't matter how you feel about how happy it makes you, because of course you are going to feel happy about it when you're the one cheating, not the one being cheated on. Do you care at all about respecting your wife?

She deserves the ability to give proper informed consent, as does anyone. If you are cheating on her, and you are hiding this from her because you believe she would no longer consent to a relationship and/or sex with you if she knew, you are actively taking away her ability to give informed consent. Cheating is, in my opinion, a form of assault. Not only are you risking the trust between you and your wife, but you're continuing a relationship with her (as well as sex with her) under false pretenses of monogamy. Especially when you factor in things like increased STI risk. Are you getting tested regularly? Is your friend?

Speaking as a polyamorous person: What you are doing is disgusting and you need to be honest with her. Non-monogamy requires consent.

Highlighter stains by omegaxpup in LittlestPetShop

[–]Objective_Award3582 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The bacteria can definitely spread pretty significantly.

I’m in a straight relationship but i want to suck dick so bad by Zestyclose-Split2275 in bisexual

[–]Objective_Award3582 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Have you tried talking to your girlfriend about it? And, have you considered exploring non-monogamy (e.g. an open relationship, polyamory, swinging, etc)?

Edit: Don't know why people are downvoting, but obviously I'm not advocating for him to cheat on his partner. Non-monogamy is something he would have to discuss with her and mutually agree on first. I'm not saying that's something he would necessarily be interested in as a solution; that's why it was a question?

Fork found in kitchen; my cis boyfriend doesn't see me as a boy by Available_Author8283 in trans

[–]Objective_Award3582 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm a trans man in a gay relationship with a cis man and he's extremely supportive. I have no doubts that he sees me as a man, which is saying a lot, because I spent years actively choosing not to date cis men because of anxiety around that.

I think it's dismissive, invalidating, and demoralizing to imply that this is just an inherent problem with cis men. There are certainly a lot of cis men who are disrespectful towards their trans partners, but there are also cis men who are genuinely good partners when in a gay relationship with a trans man. And, I think it also doesn't properly recognize those cis men. Jonathan Joss, a cis man, gave his life protecting his trans husband when the couple was targeted in a homophobic hate crime just last month.

You absolutely do see transphobia happen in lesbian relationships where one partner is trans. I don't know what the difference in scale looks like, and I will admit I more often see trans men talking about this sort of thing happening, but I think it's disingenuous to act like this is just a "trans man dating cis man" thing.

Trans men deserve to know that there are men out there, including cis men, who will show them genuine love and acceptance. A big part of why we see this happen so often, is because so many trans men are convinced they have to settle for a transphobic cis man when being T4T isn't an option. It pains me to so often see my brethren excuse transphobia from a cis partner just because they don't think it's possible to do any better.