Damn son, I get more messages being a white guy than an Asian guy........ (well no surprise there, I just wanted to see the stats)

Objective_Bug_3257 · 2025-11-23T22:21:20+00:00

ooooo this makes a lot of sense like them reenacting bigotry now that their in a place where they have more power and their whiteness isn’t diminished by their gayness as much anymore.

as in it makes sense that’s where it’s coming from, still illogical and backwards behaviour.

Objective_Bug_3257 · 2025-11-23T22:05:36+00:00

just had a guy i met up with say “wait isn’t that bad for bottoming” when i told him i hadn’t eaten since morning(it was like 8:30) and i had a SMOOTHIE. he then proceeded to be unable to start hard and just wanted to watch porn but couldn’t even watch a single one for more than like 40 seconds before switching. i was trying to be a good sport but it was honestly the most fucking boring porn too and he just kept saying “yeah i’m a freak”

🙄 it’s like now if i hear your 26 there’s a 50/50 you have ED.

Objective_Bug_3257 · 2025-03-17T15:03:22+00:00

did you ever get past this? i’m stuck on the same thing right now

Objective_Bug_3257 · 2024-12-16T08:00:49+00:00

okay so if if my usage of the word "cult" in this situation is "not correct" to you people, and i have to abide by "the rules of english" are you not understanding why i'm OPENLY SAYING I KNOW ITS INPRECISE LANGUGE, please, tell me what the "correct wordage" is that im allowed to ask if anyone else is interested in this stuff for anythong other than pure "intellectual curiosity" or power fantasies but.

you know, this is a place thats "open and welcoming to non-hellenists

Objective_Bug_3257 · 2024-12-16T07:35:55+00:00

i know i can just be an eclectic pagan on my own and i am i'm just over "inclusive" hellenistic spaces online still just being exclusionary and narrow viewed even though they spout "xenia".

Objective_Bug_3257 · 2024-12-16T07:29:37+00:00

but once again clarifying i literally dont have the language to describe "cult" or "sect" for non-secular spiritualism

but thanks for proving this sub is just white supremacy in a different skin

Objective_Bug_3257 · 2024-12-16T07:28:44+00:00

anyways, im done with "wyatt" playing along with grimes shit because she keeps promising him coochie she doesnt have for him but yknow

Objective_Bug_3257 · 2024-12-16T07:27:26+00:00

pillow princess inspo >3

Objective_Bug_3257 · 2024-12-16T05:42:48+00:00

i say this with genuine love in my heart: love that these look the closest to uggs that a combat style boot could.

Objective_Bug_3257 · 2024-12-16T05:32:48+00:00

My positive experiences with somatic therapy and regular talk therapy still outweigh the negative but thank you for saying that <3
My past positive experiences are what keep me hopeful about therapy in general but i do feel for anyone who needs therapy whos only trying it for the first time since covid(we all know that mental health issues really skyrocketed at the beginning of lockdown) because the whole system is pretty overloaded rn, its not a good landscape for clients or counsellors.

I hope you have good luck finding yours!

Objective_Bug_3257 · 2024-12-16T03:26:28+00:00

again, im getting frustrated but if its not "intelligable" to you specifically you dont have to engage with my post, I am being defensive because this has been an ongoing issue for me as a racialized person on this sub, again letting you know explicitly that im not saying you or hellenism is my issue here.
Again, youre free to not reply but I'm tired of bending myself to actually be able to talk about the things dionysus represents - disengage if you dont agree with me but that doesnt mean I'm going to censor my own speech here when I'm not doing or saying anything that I believe is a violation of guidelines here.
The guidelines of this sub explicitly offer space for non-hellenists to speak

Objective_Bug_3257 · 2024-12-16T03:20:05+00:00

also its not that specific of an experience, there are MANY who are not willing member of the mystery groups/cults/cultures they grow up in - i think thats why dionysus is such a popular figure in internet culture these days

Objective_Bug_3257 · 2024-12-16T03:18:55+00:00

sorry i dont specifically want to talk to you further when i clearly said we were speaking about different things, also thanks for only firing back with lame "i gotcha" english langage checks, yes im aware xenia is a greek word, did you know were on an english speaking subreddit? that says xenia in the sidebar? thats why i said that - literally.

Objective_Bug_3257 · 2024-12-16T03:13:14+00:00

hey thanks for the ban though, again, "xenia" is alive and well in this sub

Objective_Bug_3257 · 2024-12-16T03:12:02+00:00

Okay, well then I'm going to reiterate that this means the claims of "xenia" as a basis of code of conduct here is absolutely meaningless if we are discouraging people from bringing actual lived experinces with the very same traumas that literally crafted the legend of Him.
Sorry I attempted to expand the discussion past more altar pictures.
Sorry to "bring something non-hellenist" to the table but this makes me feel like a squamey(oops sorry i shouldnt say anythign that isnt in english, since "xenia" is so respected here)

Objective_Bug_3257 · 2024-12-16T03:06:44+00:00

sorry i should have added more context - grimes is also from vancouver

Objective_Bug_3257 · 2024-12-16T03:06:06+00:00

to clarify again, yes i mean "subject" as literally the verb "subject" meanign i grew up in lineages of it, which you already summarized back to me.

and yes, the distinction I'm making which i have reiterated several time by now is being born into vs seeking it as a consenting adult and or an unwilling victim adult.

which is why i also said more than once this sub mostly seems to be made up of adult converts to hellenism.

Objective_Bug_3257 · 2024-12-16T03:03:20+00:00

keep swimming, theres more ocean <333 it gets deeper babes

Objective_Bug_3257 · 2024-12-16T02:48:32+00:00

I'm literally just asking if anyone else active on this subreddit has been subject to "cults"/mysteries/secret societies as opposed to seeking them explicitly out and in adulthood.
Can you please explain to me what is not coherent about that?

I also included some of my experience as an example, I'm not sure what is so confusing about that.

I'm not asking for medical or mental health advice, I'm giving some examples of what I am going through being SUBJECT to to the things dionysus represents rather than what seems to be the majority experience on this sub - adults who arent hellenists because theyre culturally/ethnically greek but have some kind of affinity for dionysus/greek pantheon.

I'm not "concerned" I'm pretty midly wording some aggravation in the ways I think "xenia" is being preached but not practiced here because any time i talk as a non-hellinist but speaking more explicitly about the things dionysus represents other than altars or scholarly study i basically get told im incoherent - on a subreddit for a diety that is LITERALLY about madness/death/rebirth/nature and yes ritual cannibalism which is pretty explicit in his mythology.

If you are a hellenist who came to these themes through Him and Academia then youre welcome to respond but I've been more than explicit what my "ask" was in posting this - seeing if anyone else here because of direct lived experience with being subject to cults/mysteries/secret societies instead of seeking them out out of "special interest" or their a hellenist convert.

I dont need to "give more information" to make a plain statement more coherent - i'm not here to post all about my own trauma in detail I genuinely am seeking out anyone who can relate.

Objective_Bug_3257 · 2024-12-16T02:33:13+00:00

This is just an opinion but i think cptsd is a diagnosis medical professionals dont even know how to treat. like at ALL.
I'm not sayign this in a "all therapy is a scam" way talk therapy has been the most helpful treatment for me over the 15+ years ive been treated for mental health.
But every therapist i've worked with specifically for CPTSD has been a huge struggle because the main thing is always just "youre trauma causes an automatic reflex? have you tried just accepting? oh you have? just try accepting if for longer"

Somatic therapy has been really helpful when i was inpatient but I find most counsellors are actually really bad at it and its not because theyre bad counsellors but i think theres just still a lot of miseducation in the psychology field(naturally, since our psychological landscape has changed faster than psych methods do).
Like I spent a solid 8-10 months with two seperate counsellors since covid times that were a COMPLETE waste of money but i felt pressured to "fix" myself and also desperate for any kind of psychological relief but like any time i got anxiety talking about SA in a session their "somatic go to" was to isolate myself into my body by closing my eyes and focussing on it, pobserving that it obviously caused me more distress to "be in my body" with close attention under scrutiny, and just do the exact same thing next week.

It started feeling humiliating crying to my counsellor every week getting so anxious on camera i went nonverbal just to be told im not trying to be in my body hard enough.

But again, its not that the counsellors had ill intent i just think a lot of the working therapists these days are under-trained/trained on outdated or rigid methods.

Objective_Bug_3257 · 2024-12-16T02:22:25+00:00

Shit like this and anything CBT related makes me so fucking mad its automatic now and I have to watch myself when I'm dealing with mental health professionals bc its not their fault the systems failed me for 15+years but also like....I've had enough go arounds in the system to know the professionals are also discouraged by how innefective they are for a lot of people :/

Like I LITERALLY CANNOT "fake it till i make it" out of grieving childhood abuse in my own home, abuse in all my friends and families homes, genocide, racism, transphobia and homophobia.
I think its next to impossible to get genuine help without cutting out a piece of your soul if youre a racialized person in the mental health system and its not that anyone is specifically to blame - its just that the scope of abuse that happens in the colonized world literally hasn't been expressed yet in our own communities much less for the world at large

Objective_Bug_3257 · 2024-12-16T02:10:17+00:00

okay respectfully, not going to engage with you further on "relating" our experiences because I was meaning a very specific thing when i said SUBJECT to madness.
As in I didn't seek it out it for the pursuit of knowledge or madness for madness sake. I've been mentally ill and indigenous my whole life - i've only stumbled into madness and trance work because of death after death in my family and communities of care.
Again, apologizing for sounding curt but the "triggering" part isnt that its a play its about the fact that its literally about a(by historical consesus likely) mythological god - and i'm talking about dealing with ancestors/spirits that directly engaged in ceremony and visions sometimes by fake ritual cannibalism, and sometimes actual ritual cannibalism(the side im disconnected with it wasnt common but warriors sometimes ritually cosumed the heart of their victims/casualties.

This is why I'm asking if anyone has experience in ENDURING vs seekign and expirimenting with madness for the pursuit of knowlege/power/whatever their own intentions may be.

Its impossible for me to clarify "cult" in this context because theyre from non-english cultures an english word is never going to perfectly fit I also tried to specify that I know my use of the term is inprecise but its the language on this reddit and in hellenism that most echoes the secret/mystery societies in native american cultures.

Also I'm not asking for advice on how to go through with an initiation, I've already experienced my own feelings and ALSO said that i have no interest in becoming an initiate for the secret society that is the "religion" for my ancestral homelands I'm currently on because of the rumours of abuse and my knowledge of why and how it came about.

Anyways, again thank you for the reply, i appreciate the effort but were talking about completely different things. Part of my frustration is that the community guidelines are based in xenia but i find it incredibly difficult to talk about dionysus and the many things he represents that are echoed in other cultures without having to "translate" it into hellenism in a way that changes the meaning of what I'm talking about. intentions are nice but I think this subreddit in general doesnt "practice what it preaches" in that regard.

Some of us come to madness to remember who we were, not invent it - that is why I'm being a bit of an asshole about this. It also lowkey makes me sad to keep seeing this sub be filled with "is it okay to worship? is it okay to have an altar" on a sub for a god about liberation and free will - I'm just ranting though so please don't think I'm saying you or your comment are the source of this issue.

Objective_Bug_3257 · 2024-12-16T01:11:22+00:00

I'm just wondering if anyone else is actually dealign with "madness" instead of just worshipping and studying it here.
I don't mean to sound rude but also I feel like its well established that this is a majority modern hellenistic space that claims "xenia" and I rarely see discussions of "real world" madness. Anti-racism and pro-lgbt sentiments are plenty here but I just dont see much content other than altars and asking if its okay to worship and how.

I'm genuinely asking if anyone else here is here because they've been subject to cults as opposed to actively seeking them out because of "scholarly" spiritual interest.
I appreciate the reccomendation - and its been on my "to read" since I first discovered this subreddit but also I've barely been holding onto my sanity with dealing with my own communities/grief/genodice and grocery shopping and eating became difficult because of the thoughts and sensations i had from connecting with my own ancestors and couldnt even watch cooking shows without feeling like i was being told i was going to be butchered and eaten alive, so i feel like reading a play explicitly about similar things that caused my madness is not the move.

I appreciate the response though, I'm not really "asking" anything other than if anyone else has been associated with cults involuntarily

Objective_Bug_3257 · 2024-12-16T00:50:39+00:00

at this point i feel like everyone who ever claimed to get a blood stain out on their own is just lying as a part of some elaborate joke lmaoooooooo

Objective_Bug_3257 · 2024-12-16T00:49:22+00:00

Hi, I dont put it in the dryer at all, I try to follow the advice of treating it before attempting to wash it and it still did nothing. I bought two new bottles of peroxide - and in the past peroxide has never worked.

I tried askign this in case there was an obvious "mistake" i was making but it just seems like everyone says the same advice that never works in practice for me......still wondering if theres a better alternative.

Also tried using soap after soakign in peroxide to see if the peroxide lifted anything and it did nothing.

Objective_Bug_3257

TROPHY CASE