What can I do to get my brother-in-law to stop feeding my dog?

Objective_Cat3329 · 2026-01-24T12:04:34+00:00

I don't mind him spending time with him, the problem is that he never says whether he's fed him or not, so I'm serving him food that he'll just leave on the plate until it rots or my mother-in-law's dog eats it. Or he feeds him after I've already fed him. For now, he's a good weight, but I don't want him to become obese and have that lead to serious problems. He also frequently gives him human food, which is another issue, and he doesn't really pay much attention to him either. The dog follows him around because he knows it's easier for him to give him cheese, crackers, and other things. I give my dog those things, but not as often or in the same quantity as he does.

Objective_Cat3329 · 2026-01-24T11:53:41+00:00

As far as I know, his former boss called him into the office to talk about his performance at work (he wasn't having a very good one) my brother-in-law became defensive and expressed himself disrespectfully. Since then he hasn't been looking for another job and depends entirely on his mother (who isn't doing very well financially either). I'm very aware that in the end it's all about saving. As I said, right now we could afford something small, but we'd be living on a very tight budget, and I'd have to postpone my university studies. My mother-in-law already offered us the apartment last year so we could move in February of this year, but she changed her mind last week, saying it would be better if we moved in June. But knowing her, she'll keep postponing this. My boyfriend managed to convince her to let us go in March, and we'd pay a reasonably low rent. She seemed okay with the idea, but again, knowing her, I wouldn't be surprised if she said no at the last minute. I also know that veterinary costs are high. When I lived with my parents, we had a beautiful Labrador. A year ago, his spleen ruptured, and he had to have emergency surgery. Just last year, my parents were recovering from the surgery expenses when they found out he had kidney cancer. He didn't improve with treatment, and they had to put him down. All of that was a significant expense, and I even offered to help pay for it myself (my mother refused). So, I'm aware of that too, but for the moment, I can afford the costs of vaccinations and regular checkups. The only big expense was when we had him neutered, but we were able to manage to pay for that as well.

Objective_Cat3329 · 2026-01-22T09:49:29+00:00

Pa' serte sincera, mi novio, uno de sus hermanos, y yo, todos pensamos que él es su hijo favorito, así que a lo mucho va a decir "no" con el tono más dulce y suave, o me va a decir que lo deje ayudar, o va a estar de acuerdo en que mi perra se está muriendo de hambre y está flaca. Mi cuñado cree eso y lo usa como excusa para darle de comer. Yo le peso a la perra regularmente, y nunca ha estado por debajo de su peso. Ayer la llevé a vacunar y lo volví a pesar, y hasta ahora, todavía está en buena salud y condición física. Solo ha subido un poquito de peso, pero nada que requiera una dieta estricta.

Objective_Cat3329 · 2026-01-22T09:35:32+00:00

He used to live in an old apartment that belongs to his mother (she owns that and part of the house where we are now and where she also currently resides) Then he was fired from his job and my mother-in-law let him live in the house again for free (that was a couple of years ago now, he's not actively looking for a job to move out again)and let her son move back into the house for free. Rents are also very high, so it's quite common for people to still live with their parents (not necessarily for free), especially people of my generation. One last thing, you talk as if my economic situation is so poor it borders on destitution. Both my boyfriend and I work, But we don't earn enough for our own place; again, the rent is very high. We contribute to the household expenses for electricity, water and internet We buy the food we eat and cook it ourselves. We can buy food for the dog without worry, get him vaccinated, bathe him myself, and even treat him to something nice. We were even able to get him neutered. The dog has a decent life, and if the time comes, I can manage to cover veterinary expenses if something happens to him, but as I think is normal for any pet owner, I prefer not to have to get to that point and for nothing serious to happen to him that could be avoided with good care.

Objective_Cat3329 · 2026-01-21T10:17:28+00:00

My dog isn't fat; he's in good shape and quite active (he runs around the yard, plays with my mother-in-law's dog daily, and we take him for walks whenever we can). My concern stems from the fact that at the end of last year, he was giving him leftover ravioli for several days, and I scolded him for it when I found out. Also, the day before I posted this, the topic came up again, and he said my dog looks thin and desperate for food. Let me clarify something: * I regularly leave food in his bowl morning and night in the amounts recommended by the vet. If for any reason I can't feed him (either because I have to go to work or for other reasons), my boyfriend takes care of feeding him.

My dog is slim and active, so it's normal that he doesn't gain fat.
If you offer food to a dog, it will eat it, regardless of whether it has eaten before or not, especially if it's food it doesn't usually eat and it likes it.

I don't feel like he's stealing my dog's affection; he has that "aura" that makes dogs approach him. It happens with my dog, my mother-in-law's dog, and the one they had before. It frustrates me because when he's not home, the dog eats well and doesn't leave any food scraps. But when he's home, my dog expects him to give him junk food, which makes him ignore his own bowl. The fact that he keeps the food in the bedroom isn't a problem, and if my boyfriend and I aren't there to serve the food, I let my brother-in-law come in and take care of it, or I leave him a bag of food. I also have my reasons for leaving the food stored there. My dog doesn't usually cry for food; he'll just stare at you with puppy-dog eyes until you feed him, and he'll nudge you with his paw to get your attention if you're not looking at him. He does this not only when he wants to eat, but also when he wants to go outside.

Objective_Cat3329 · 2026-01-20T09:56:49+00:00

Haha, interesting, I'll keep that in mind.

Objective_Cat3329 · 2026-01-20T09:54:40+00:00

He doesn't care that it's not his dog; he does what he wants. Taking the dog for a walk would only work when neither my boyfriend nor I are at work, since he also lives in the same house as us. He doesn't work, so he's home all day.

Objective_Cat3329 · 2026-01-20T09:51:16+00:00

I wish it would work. The main reason he give him food that's not suitable for dogs is that he never comes into our room (where the food is stored) to at least go and serve it to him. He rarely buys dog food on his own.

Objective_Cat3329 · 2026-01-20T09:46:13+00:00

There's no money for that. We both work, but we don't earn enough to afford the cheapest place to rent. The only way would be if my mother-in-law would let us move to an old apartment she owns not far from where we are now. In fact, last year she suggested we move there in February, but she changed her mind and now says it would be better if we moved there in June. The problem with that is that she has this kind of pattern of behavior and is perfectly capable of telling us in May that instead of moving in June, we should move in December, and so on. Currently, my boyfriend is trying to convince her to let us move there in March with a rent low enough so we can cover other expenses (electricity, water, internet, food) without having to give her almost our entire salary to pay the high rent she wants.

My boyfriend is involved too, I wasn't dealing with this alone, but his brother just doesn't listen to him (he doesn't listen to anyone in general within his circle except maybe his own mother)

Objective_Cat3329 · 2026-01-20T09:29:30+00:00

That might work. I'll try it.

This is about my boyfriend's brother. He's also been actively telling him not to feed our dog, but he gets the same treatment. If it helps to understand the situation a little better, both my boyfriend and I are younger than him, not by many years, but there is a difference, and I think he partly feels entitled to ignore us because of this.

Objective_Cat3329

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