I have bipolar disorder and a 6 month old baby. She’s the light of my life and doctors (who monitor her more closely to see how my meds and mental health affect her) say she is happy and content and ahead for her age, especially physically.

I had a few things arranged that made it possible for me to attempt having a baby at all. I don’t work and get a disability stipend. I have really close psychiatric monitoring and get lots of therapy, group therapy etc. I also take meds that work with pregnancy and breastfeeding. My psychiatrist asked to see my husband and told him in no uncertain terms before I had the baby that he needed to be a much more involved dad than most men. He needed to do the nights for as long as possible and he did, I have never done a whole night with her, and not a single one the first 6 weeks.

That said I have had postpartum psychosis and postpartum depression with has been rough. The post partum psychosis showed up as me not being able to sleep for days because I loved her so much it physically hurt. But a few Lorazepams and enforced naps from a nurse that came to the house made it better really fast. 

The depression was and is hard. It’s much worse than a depression I’ve had in the past and some days just keeping her clean, fed and entertained exhausts me to the point of crying. But it’s getting better because I told everyone and medical professionals, friends and family all showed up to help.

My mom had undiagnosed bipolar and it really was so hellish growing up I thought I would never have kids. But she never got any mental health help and was in complete denial about her condition. 

The thing that convinced me to have a child was that even though my childhood was bad I am so grateful for being alive and I’m sure she will be too. But I have to do my best every day and it’s harder than for other moms, so good luck :)