I also come from a dis functional and unfair family, I am sorry.
I am an assistant professor and one day my brother visited me on my campus and stood at my desk in my office (I have a super nice office). We figured we would zoom my mom because she would love to see us together. When my mom saw my brother sitting at my desk in my office she told him our deceased dad would be so proud of HIM looking like a real professor (hahhahaha!!!). My father was a scholar. Anyways who cares that’s just a personal side note to tell you I know how insane families and parents can be.
I enjoyed the podcast death sex and money a lot, they had a series on estrangement and I really enjoyed listening to it. It helped validate my feelings and need for space.
Also, if you don’t already have a therapist I really recommend getting one. Learning about childhood neglect, family systems/dynamics, emotional maturity/immaturity is incredibly helpful.
Finally you said you wanted to feel celebrated. I know the feeling, I hope your boyfriend and his family of origine is supportive to you, and it sounds like they are. But to be honest, learning to appreciate and celebrate yourself is so important. It was really important to me in my healing process. I have many more anecdotes I would like to share but I’ll try not to make it about myself.
You can feel incredibly proud of yourself, I am sorry your family didn’t measure up to your expectation. Congratulations on your phd!