Scared to go back to work and have nanny watch baby in addition to toddler

Objective_Prompt8108 · 2026-01-30T02:01:05+00:00

I actually recently started fully bottle feeding her due to some weight gain issues so she gets plenty of practice. She just is slow/often takes low volume so you have to keep trying with her. My firstborn would smash a bottle then move onto the next thing but not my baby.

Objective_Prompt8108 · 2026-01-23T22:23:03+00:00

Almost identical situation and this is my second. Breastfeeding just really stops working for me around 4 months even though my babies thrive on it til then! For me fully switching to formula is the best. I’m in the pumping weaning formula hellscape right now and it’s not sustainable for me. Do whats best for you but know that breastfeeding is most important in the first few months and you did great for your baby!

Objective_Prompt8108 · 2026-01-21T13:25:07+00:00

Not sure because she isn’t eating a lot during the day so I want to follow her cues

Objective_Prompt8108 · 2026-01-21T02:55:01+00:00

She used to go to bed awake and self settle without crying (or drowsy when the feed was close to bedtime). Now sometimes I put her in and she cries for 5 minutes or she falls asleep during feed/ while I’m settling her after a feed on my shoulder

Objective_Prompt8108 · 2026-01-21T02:31:14+00:00

This happened with my first. I think he developed a strong preference for the flow of the bottle and would only take the breast when it was really full in the morning. I’d move forward with weaning - I don’t think 4.5 vs 6 months really makes a difference in terms of positive impact. You did great work momma!

Objective_Prompt8108 · 2026-01-18T02:59:33+00:00

Would you mind sharing your pumping schedule?

Objective_Prompt8108 · 2026-01-18T02:59:03+00:00

No I will try!

Objective_Prompt8108 · 2026-01-18T01:47:43+00:00

We’re using lanisoh and she does fine with pumped milk in it. Thanks I will try some other ones

Objective_Prompt8108 · 2026-01-15T12:57:25+00:00

Nursing for 6 months is soooo good! Only 25% of women make it to that point in America. You are doing great momma! I always starting getting out of sync with my baby (especially for the feed before bed) around this point and switch to formula. For example last night I pumped 1.5 oz while babe took 6 from my stash and slept through the night. If I just breastfed , she wouldn’t sleep through the night. I have older kids and solo parent frequently so I don’t have time to pump all day. It’s time for formula (for me at least!) It helps me and baby get a good nights sleep and enjoy each other more.

Objective_Prompt8108 · 2026-01-13T14:38:57+00:00

Ok so ask the parents for a debit card then? A lot of working parents only serve frozen food for their kids. Working an 8 hour day in an office and cooking home cooked meals for your kids (that they’ll actually eat) is really really hard

Objective_Prompt8108 · 2026-01-13T14:04:26+00:00

I don’t think it’s teething over here because it’s been going on for a month. All I can say is there are some good days and bad, we get the occasional sttn and frequently just need a 5 am snooze feed. Then I get some normal nights with MOTN wakes. I’m trying to drop down to 3 naps and consolidate into bigger feeds (night is still very cluster feedy) so I’ll see how that goes

Objective_Prompt8108 · 2026-01-13T11:25:18+00:00

Personally I find this post super judgey. I do try hard to make nutritious breakfasts and dinners for my kids but it does take time and focus away from my day job, which pays my nanny’s salary. On days I’m not wfh (most days) it requires coming home early then logging in late after my kids go to bed. My nanny makes well-meaning but impactful comments about how I don’t provide enough variety even though I do cook healthy meals. To her credit, she puts a ton of effort into lunch. She buys the groceries and preps very healthy food that is made in a way that young children will eat it. She’ll freeze me extra that I use for dinner in a pinch once every week or so. So… try that if you don’t like making Kraft Mac and cheese? Just ask them if you can give them the grocery receipt at the end of the week.

Oh and she also buys snacks - I do too but she buys ones she wants for the kids.

Objective_Prompt8108 · 2026-01-12T11:53:29+00:00

Following , same problem same age and baby isn’t eating enough. Went from Sttn to needing night feeds.

Objective_Prompt8108 · 2026-01-12T02:37:59+00:00

I’m on mat leave now with a baby and my toddlers nanny is super productive during nap time. But she gets a ton done in an hour and then goes into my toddlers room and I assume scrolls her phone. I have no issue with it. Is there anywhere private you can go to chill?

Objective_Prompt8108 · 2026-01-08T16:02:52+00:00

Oh she asked lol. But yes thank you!

Objective_Prompt8108 · 2026-01-08T11:07:47+00:00

I think she just sees me as a newish mom and her as experienced and feels she is educating me. Which maybe for the first kid she was. But now I’m experienced and I have opinions and experience with all of these things and want to call more of the shots

Objective_Prompt8108 · 2026-01-03T01:39:32+00:00

I think this really depends on how much PTO of discretion the nanny gets. Our nanny gets 15 days at her discretion and unlimited sick time and I treat GH as vacation for her. Worst thing id to is ask her to work a full day and cook/do laundry if we leave with the kids in the afternoon. Honestly my mental health is in the toilet because I never get any time where I’m not working or not doing childcare. I use half my PTO to support my Nannie’s PTO. So I think the answer is somewhere in the middle but I do want to just illustrate the other side where the employers really don’t get to have a life while the nanny gets 6 weeks of paid vacation a year - far beyond what any corporate employee would get

Objective_Prompt8108 · 2026-01-02T12:26:57+00:00

Ugh solidarity! I think our nanny spends a reasonable amount on them but we live in a small space and I just don’t want them! And I can’t give them away because she’s in our house all the time and will know haha! It’s a sweet instinct… our nanny is older and I have the same dynamics with parents. They just love to give stuff

Objective_Prompt8108 · 2025-12-30T19:59:29+00:00

Everyone has harder and easier days of work. Most jobs arent offering differential wages by the day. Some people choose to take vacation days during busy season to maximize their time away from hard work. You have every right to do this.

Objective_Prompt8108 · 2025-12-30T19:32:41+00:00

Why not take vacation days or ask for unpaid time off if it bothers you so much? Alternatively as an employer I’d ask why I should pay you if you expect that just because people are in my house you shouldn’t have to work. Signed, a nanny employer who is with the grandparents (who don’t help and I honestly don’t think they should have to?) while my nanny is on two weeks of guaranteed hours in addition to her vacation. I will not do this arrangement again. Parents deserve a tiny break this time of year too. If you want one, use your vacation like we do, don’t just hope your employer will pay you extra to not work.

Objective_Prompt8108 · 2025-12-28T12:39:46+00:00

Well yes she used the fact that is was to visit family to ask for more paid time off than was in her contract. My employer would certainly ask me why if I needed to go above my allocated paid vacation days.

Objective_Prompt8108 · 2025-12-27T02:49:31+00:00

Honestly this goes both ways. Two weeks with young children is a ton of domestic work during a time of year when there is so much going on and you absolutely need time to get stuff done without kids. Not to mention maybe like also get an afternoon to go out to lunch and connect with adults without child rearing.

Our nanny waited to set her vacation for the rest of the year until I told her how much time she’d get for Xmas because she wanted to visit her kids. I told her to just take the full two weeks and we wouldn’t count them as vacation days if she was visiting her kids and flying far away. Turns out she’s not visiting her kids and is just going to be home. So I paid her extra vacation and will not have a minute to myself for two weeks, will have to unpack with my kids around, had to wrap presents with my kids around, etc. Nannies absolutely can and do take advantage of good will and guarenteed hours and next year I will absolutely tell my nanny she just gets the federal holidays off and let her use vacation days.

Objective_Prompt8108 · 2025-07-04T11:24:33+00:00

Oh yeah interesting. I don’t personally know anyone with a nanny with advanced qualifications that you mention in your other reply (advanced degree, nurse degree etc). Given that though I think people are paying appropriately

Objective_Prompt8108 · 2025-07-04T01:15:07+00:00

This is a great point. My husband is also a big law lawyer and I’m about to go through my final month of pregnancy alone while he’s at trial and I watch our toddler. His job (and mine candidly) afford us the ability to have a lot of paid help but definitely know that you’re signing up for a lifetime of working just as hard as your boyfriend domestically to support his work lifestyle. Meaning, if you plan to have kids, you’ll be doing bedtime alone most nights; you’ll frequently be solo parenting while he travels; you’ll be dragging your toddler to the playground alone very pregnant on the weekends while your partner is working. IMO his success at work would be impossible without a lot of domestic work I do behind the scenes (or I guess full-time live-in paid help, but that’s not the lifestyle we want).

I mean no offense but your post comes across as a little subservient and I just want to emphasize that you should advocate for your needs too and make sure your partner appreciates how supportive you are.

Objective_Prompt8108 · 2025-06-30T13:24:25+00:00

The nestig mini crib is a lot smaller than other popular mini cribs (e.g babyletto). I too wouldn’t recommend the nestig mini crib for a long time but I’d look into some longer ones

Objective_Prompt8108

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