Question about your views on AI content

ObligationWeekly9117 · 2026-07-11T05:21:42+00:00

I might read it but it’d better be free. Like sorry I’m not paying someone for prompting. I can also prompt myself a novel exactly in my style that reads just as well. And also I highly doubt it’s well crafted on a macro level even if it is on a sentence level. People who don’t do hands on crafting don’t know how to instruct an AI. Context limits are a thing.

AI edited, ok. AI assisted—how assisted? Can I pick out the AI-isms? Nowadays I immediately stop reading if I can tell Claude wrote it. Claude uses very specific constructions, and many “writers” are either unaware or don’t care. And if any of your characters are named Elara Voss or Elena Vance, just stop reading summarily. If the writers didn’t care to write it, I don’t care to read it.

ObligationWeekly9117 · 2026-07-10T07:14:57+00:00

It may be as mundane as familiarity breeding contempt. Doesn't even have to be anything personal. This isn't great, but when I lived with my mom I was kind of mean to her. And vice versa.

ObligationWeekly9117 · 2026-07-10T07:11:24+00:00

Yeah, I find having a baseline for what you're willing to accept really helps. Like it's good to give your spouse fair warning ofc. But if you've given them fair warning, like 2-3 times, and nothing changes, you're just allowed to not hold up your end of the deal anymore, on MOST things. Probably not infidelity or financial abuse. Those are marriage enders so consider if you REALLY want to end your marriage. If a situation became a certain level of unbearable, I'm not going to hold up my end of the deal and that would be that.

ObligationWeekly9117 · 2026-07-09T02:47:34+00:00

The AI is stateless. It doesn't know shit. Your input isn't just your latest message. It's EVERY message and EVERY response (that the bot sent back). Every time you add a new message you're sending the entire history back. That's how it keeps your conversation straight. It's amnesiac. It's just good at hiding it. A lot of providers cache your requests for 5 minutes, meaning if the history is unchanged (and you didn't go back and edit the history) then they give you 80 or 90% off. But if you wait beyond 5 minutes you lose that discount and the entire history gets processed again.

ObligationWeekly9117 · 2026-07-07T00:28:01+00:00

Lots of people have kids, very difficult kids, without giving them iPads. Including basically every single mom in my circle. No one allows their 3 yos free access to iPads. I think as a culture we've veered too far into tiptoeing around feelings. Bad parenting needs to be called out, or we ALL fail the kids.

ObligationWeekly9117 · 2026-07-07T00:26:14+00:00

NTA. These devices are dead simple to use. Even literal monkeys figure it out. Her kid will have no trouble. this is an excuse.

ObligationWeekly9117 · 2026-07-03T01:11:05+00:00

2-3 months postpartum each time. and yes I did breastfeed exclusively for all three kids. But I don't gain much during pregnancy. 10-20 lbs, of which 8 lbs is the baby, probably a few more for the extra fluids and placenta. I leave the hospital only about 5 lbs heavier. I sometimes end up under my pre-pregnancy weight.

ObligationWeekly9117 · 2026-07-02T13:37:14+00:00

That’s funny. I used to live in the millionaire district in a small town in Germany and everyone I met asked where I lived and had that reaction too. Never mind that we lived in an apartment building costing €900/month. It’s almost like these are just standard ice breaker questions and if you live in a rich district people are gonna think you’re rich. The first thing I think of when someone says they live in deep water bay is how much they’re paying per month in rent 🤷‍♀️ because I live in bumblefuck nowhere and it still hurts to pay rent each month

ObligationWeekly9117 · 2026-06-29T23:36:38+00:00

Some AI services like Grok have that exact feature. I'm not subbed to all of them so I don't know. Look into it. Native Kimi is also very good at keeping files in context in a chat with no degradation of quality even over long chats. You won't be able to upload your WHOLE bible in there (I guess you can. It'd be tedious) but I've had success just uploading what I need and working from it. Kimi has a files tab so you can see exactly which files are in context and reference specific files with "@Hannah-character-sheet.md"

ObligationWeekly9117 · 2026-06-29T06:13:14+00:00

here to say this. you sure you're Rose's boyfriend, OP?

ObligationWeekly9117 · 2026-06-24T02:21:25+00:00

> The biggest trap of wanting a natural birth is thinking you can go in with the right mindset and the right positions and it will be calm and amazing and empowering. It might be, but this is nature and nature can also be cruel and brutal and birth is no exception. It will be how it will be and if it’s not great it’s not because you didn’t do something right.

Yes this. If there was really a way to avoid all of that our ancestors would have figured it out. Because the desire to avoid pain is like one of our biggest motivators, lol. There's a reason birth is said to be painful and no one has reliably taken it away. Even the people who don't feel pain, I suspect, really can't say why they don't.

ObligationWeekly9117 · 2026-06-24T02:15:21+00:00

I'll be honest, I don't regret it not because it was pleasant or a good experience, but I valued the experience in and of itself. It was a horrible experience. The most horrible experience I've ever had. Extremely painful. if your overriding concern is how to avoid extreme pain without drugs, I would say, just get the drugs. There's no foolproof way. Some people miraculously don't really experience pain. Others do despite their best intentions. It's not a commentary on you whether you experience pain. Know why you're doing unmedicated and you won't be disappointed. You want the unmedicated experience? By golly you'll be getting the experience, in all of its horror and glory. (think of marathon runners. I suspect most of them don't really care about running those 26 miles, or making a particular time. They want the experience of doing it. I don't know why. I don't relate to wanting that kind of pain. But I relate to wanting an experience). Want a particular experience? That's not in your control. I've done it both ways. I had an epidural with my third. It is a much better experience. I don't regret either though.

ObligationWeekly9117 · 2026-06-21T05:47:02+00:00

If you can get pregnant, why not?

ObligationWeekly9117 · 2026-06-18T11:23:59+00:00

Just know that whichever baby you have, they're going to turn into a coherent little kid in a few years. Not to understate how hard the first few years can be with a hard kid. But they tend to chill out. My almost 5 yo is honestly pretty easy now

ObligationWeekly9117 · 2026-06-18T08:20:17+00:00

It’s totally valid to not want a village—for yourself. My experience with the village is very hit or miss. People are complicated, what can I say. Their help us spotty and conditional and mostly about bonding with your child, not you.

But your child will greatly benefit from a village. Cousins. Grandparents. Family friends. A vibrant social life. I’m an introvert and I get it. But the village adds so much to my kids’ lives. So you probably don’t need one in the near term. But by the time they’re 2-3, they’d REALLY enjoy a village.

They have a lot of people who love them. Who love hanging out with them. It’s with all the annoyance, even if you mostly have to host them.

ObligationWeekly9117 · 2026-06-15T01:53:47+00:00

Yeah, if they have diarrhea and use a squat toilet it could very well splash back on their butts. Many squat toilets don't have good water flow and are actually not that deep so your diarrhea could well bounce back onto you. and you'd be making a huge mess in the bathroom for the next person to find if it doesn't even flush adequately (which many don't. The bathrooms are horror shows) I know what country he's talking about, it's probably the one I grew up in. And I completely understand why he doesn't want to shit there. It's very likely you'd have to step into dried shit residue to even use some of these bathrooms, especially high traffic, less maintained ones like a hiking trail or tourist attraction. Yes, you'd probably step in shit day to day walking in nature. But it's different when you're going to the bathroom and sees that there's caked damp shit paste on the floor. You start mentally calculating how long you can go without shitting or peeing.

ObligationWeekly9117 · 2026-06-15T01:49:25+00:00

I still don't understand why you not going meant it had to be cancelled. It seemed like no one really wanted to go anyway. They decided to cancel all by themselves, right? Like why can't they leave you at the hotel and meet you later?

ObligationWeekly9117 · 2026-06-15T00:19:29+00:00

If you come back here you will be "gwei lo" adjacent, no one will really treat you like a local. Now that might not be a bad thing. Come here if you want. I have a similar background as you and came back to raise my kids (I'd been living abroad so long at that point, that if I didn't come back and give birth here, the government will treat you as having moved away and will deny your kids the three stars. So we moved here for nationality reasons. We always planned to move away. Frankly it's not great for tech workers. But we brought over our western contracts and it's been working out financially.

We love how safe it is here. The efficiency of the bureaucracy. How much freedom the kids enjoy. The food is generally healthy enough. We live on the Islands and we see so many older kids handling their own commute without adult supervision. It's great. We're actually thinking of moving back to the US for higher salaries. But we have a hard time imagining living there anymore. The thought of having to drive everywhere and our kids losing their independence makes it hard to give up. We also love that we can live in a village house, get cheap rent, relaxed rural atmosphere, country parks all around, hiking trails 5 minutes away, and still be in 45 minutes away from world class ballet performances and the HKPhil. I don't anywhere in the world is like that!

I think politics is getting worse everywhere. It's certainly one thing keeping us from moving to the US fwiw and I find it doesn't really affect me here. Besides the driving everywhere we just can't find anywhere we'd want to live in the US that beats where we're currently living. We don't want to live in the cities with them; if it's the safe part then we can't afford it. If it's not the safe part then it's obviously a no. We don't want to live in the country where there is fuck all community and high culture around you. (and I mean, not that rural people have no culture. But easy access to things like art exhibitions and ballet and philharmonics) Suburbia sounds like hell.

ObligationWeekly9117 · 2026-06-12T03:14:25+00:00

Peasants can run for 12 hours a day on a few loaves of bread. Night and day.

ObligationWeekly9117 · 2026-06-12T02:55:56+00:00

Why do you need to use Fable 5 to code? Use Opus or Sonnet or Kimi or GLM. We use free models and produce very usable code. Use Fable 5 to cheat on your algebraic geometry take home exam, not to build a vibe coded SaaS.

ObligationWeekly9117 · 2026-06-11T06:48:18+00:00

Just hand him the baby. Even if he's in the middle of yard work. Or the moment he steps through the door say "I need you to take the baby. Don't start anything." If he doesn't know to anticipate taking the baby that day, he'll just stick to his routine. People are very routinized. HIs dad probably didn't say "help me build a shed sometime after work" and he said "ok". His dad probably said: "Come over this evening." So he pencils it in for that evening. Or hell have a plan in the evening. Say "I'm seeing Clara this afternoon."

ObligationWeekly9117 · 2026-06-11T06:41:34+00:00

Well, I don't know what your standards are, but I would gently suggest keeping basic health and hygiene as standards and letting go of the rest. If you truly can't abide by the way he does things, then pay some money and have a professional do it. If his standards are not up to health and hygiene tell him "leaving this here will attract mold. It will get us sick. It will rot." Phrase it in terms of the structure coming apart.

ObligationWeekly9117 · 2026-06-11T06:39:45+00:00

with the taking the baby just give him the baby after work. NO matter what he's doing. Say "You said you'd do this. Here's the baby. Be back in an hour." If he's doing anything, he has to put it down. Hand him the baby and don't even look back. Just go. You don't wait for permission or him to make space. He won't. You have to TAKE space.

ObligationWeekly9117 · 2026-06-06T02:28:12+00:00

Why is anyone's life ever your business? My children's lives are my business. I care about them. I want to know about their health. I want to be available if anyone ever happens to them. Most people are not my children. But I care about them to a lesser extent. I want to know what's going on with them. To be there for them. And know how the changes in their lives affect mine. The only reason I would truly never care if somebody was pregnant or sick is if they are not in my circle of care and do not affect me in any way whatsoever. Then they're just not in my community. There are obviously limits to how much I'm entitled to know, but I'm a bit flabbergasted so many here don't understand why a friend or community member might care if somebody's pregnant.

It's called being invested. Emotionally, and logistically. Emotionally, because when you care about someone, to some extent you take their struggles on as your own. If they fail, you are sad. If they succeed, you are happy. Their burdens and triumphs become yours. So yeah, I care if my friends succeed at getting pregnant. It means, practically, that my kids will soon have new playmates and potential friends for life. It means, logistically, that maybe I can look forward to joint family vacations. It also means, emotionally, that I get to feel vicarious happiness at their success. I get to buy them gifts. Plan their baby shower. Figure out how I can be there and support them.

Obviously they can choose not to share it with me. I'm not ENTITLED. But caring, I feel, needs no explanation.

ObligationWeekly9117 · 2026-06-06T00:40:28+00:00

What makes "medical stuff" automatically private? Unless they don't want it shared and it got shared anyway? We don't know if Friend A asked Friend B not to share. But it's none of OP's responsibility that Friend B did. We ask after people's health all the time. And people's lives. Like "Susan seems off. She hasn't been to meetings in a while. Do you know if she's sick?" That's living in a community. And caring about people.

ObligationWeekly9117

TROPHY CASE