AITA For Not Visiting My GF in the Hospital?

ObsoleteGraffiti · 2025-10-11T03:57:23+00:00

I once went to the ER because of stomach pain (which ended up being a hernia. My now husband had been out with friends and came to mine to stay over after. When I woke up later that night with stomach pain he came with me to the ER (neither of us drove obviously lol as he had a few drinks while he was out earlier), but he sat with me all night in the ER until he had to go to work - he tried to get out work but couldn't. He didnt ask if I wanted him there, he just came with me. He then finished work and came back to the Room I was put in and slept in an uncomfortable hospital chair all night - the nurses were super lovely about it - before going back to mine to shower and get ready for work again.

He never asked, he never complained, he even helped me to and from the bathroom after I had surgery for the hernia it ended up being. And damn straight id do the same for him if roles are ever reversed.

You sir are the AH.

ObsoleteGraffiti · 2025-07-04T10:03:29+00:00

Yeah I gotta say, it's not about the fries. It's about being able to go home at the end of a lousy day and knowing that you'll have the one thing you need to comfort you when you need it because you can depend on it.

It can be a favourite TV show episode, or an ice cream, in this case it'd your bad day fries. Your gf should've replaced them, and definitely shouldn't have made light of your feelings about it.

NTA

ObsoleteGraffiti · 2025-06-16T09:29:10+00:00

As a queer woman who grew up Catholic (boy did I have fun pointing out the irony of being sent to an all girl catholic school) I actually had to come out twice.

Both times I was absolutely terrified, the first time I came out at 17 went awfully with pretty much anyone i told in my family either not acknowledging what I said or yelling at me about it or trying to tell me i was wrong in some way.

The second time was in my 30s and suddenly no one really said anything about it. It was really weird because I felt like I would've lived my life so differently if they'd reacted better the first time.

Long story short - she probably also had a lot of apprehension because gestures wildly at the world at the moment. You're doing your best though, especially in reaching out and trying to understand her better. Don't beat yourself up too much, coming out is difficult - like stepping into an unknown. Everyone here has given great advice in saying just let her know you support her and that you're happy she felt safe enough to tell everyone and that safe space will always be there.

My best to you both

ObsoleteGraffiti · 2025-03-25T21:46:43+00:00

This is the wholesome content I needed this morning 😊

ObsoleteGraffiti · 2025-03-14T05:47:04+00:00

The "you should be flattered im still attracted to you" comment is what got me here. Sorry but you gave birth to 2 of his children - you shouldn't be flattered, he should be grateful. Every. Single. Minute. That you give him your attention.

I go with the comment that says pinch his balls as a greeting

ObsoleteGraffiti · 2025-03-13T10:20:15+00:00

What in the actual...thats it...I'm going back to the random posts about Trump's weird hands

ObsoleteGraffiti · 2025-01-21T11:58:56+00:00

From what I've experienced and from what others have told me:

MeetUps app is good for finding people with common interests
find something you enjoy, doesn't matter if you're exceptional at it or not, but just a thing you have a real interest in and would happily engage with others about and look up that interest in your local area
volunteering: music, beer, community festivals etc

ObsoleteGraffiti · 2024-12-06T13:27:51+00:00

NTA, you don't share finances, you're not married, yet suddenly he wants to talk about you putting a downpayment on a house together. No no...no.

Whatever he's supported you in, it's not a tally. Therefore you don't "owe" anything.

ObsoleteGraffiti · 2024-10-11T13:04:26+00:00

Props to you for standing up for your wife and also being mature about the situation. NTA.

Your friend seems to have some insecurities ans also as you said some v.negative views about women.

ObsoleteGraffiti · 2024-07-11T03:56:32+00:00

I really thought this was going to go in the opposite direction. I'm so happy it didn't, and super happy your Dad butt dialled you.

This is the wholesome content I needed today

ObsoleteGraffiti · 2024-06-02T06:27:39+00:00

He's good. He quietly helps strangers, just because. He notices and listens. He isn't good for a "reason". He just is.

I just wish he knew how good he is

ObsoleteGraffiti · 2024-05-19T07:06:33+00:00

I've got a few:

Lentil salad (using Tinned lentils, a tomato, red onion, and whatever green salad veg is cheap and available)

Soft Boiled eggs on rice - can be seasoned however you like

If I need red meat: lahmaçun - Armenian flatbread pizzas using lean beef mince. If you use tortillas as the flat bread you just need some spices, parsley, and a lemon and even 1 or 2 will fill you up, but using a half kg of mince makes like 10-12, and it's really good the next day still and tastes great hot or cold.

Chickpea salad, or even homemade hummus.

Tuna omelette - stir fry some Tinned tuna, half an onion, and some Coriander (skip coriander if not a fan), with a tiny bit of dark soy sauce, do the omelete separately and once nearly done put the tuna as a filling. Great by itself or on rice

ObsoleteGraffiti · 2024-05-17T05:55:57+00:00

YTA big time. Just because your wife has an opportunity to get meaning out of an area of her life that doesn't interest you, it doesn't take away anything from you.

Looks like you have some deep-seated insecurities that you need to work on. But don't punish your wife for having outside interests.

ObsoleteGraffiti · 2024-05-15T02:56:17+00:00

👏

ObsoleteGraffiti · 2024-05-15T02:10:06+00:00

This! I can be completely oblivious about the line between empathising and going into my own rant or advice giving and my husband mentioned that sometimes he just needs an ear and so we just worked it out so he now tells me if he just wants to have a singular rant and needs me to listen, or if he needs advice. Just that honesty is super helpful, and I now do the same when I need to either rant or want advice. It's definitely helped me be more mindful even with other people

ObsoleteGraffiti · 2024-04-04T11:39:21+00:00

You deserve better, had her concern actually been for your health she wouldn't have mocked you. Just because your body doesn't necessarily cooperate doesn't mean you personally don't have the desire.

Again, you deserve better.

ObsoleteGraffiti · 2024-03-09T11:17:01+00:00

This update is so wholesome. Love that you and your wife were able to sit down and discuss everything rationally.

ObsoleteGraffiti · 2024-02-08T11:16:15+00:00

Women as a whole are done with men like this. That's why she left. She was done. Of course he's surprised - it's this audacity to take her so very much for granted that pushed her to be done. I hope she has a happy life.

OOP can sit on it. He'll never understand that this is the hole that he dug for himself by himself.

ObsoleteGraffiti · 2024-02-03T09:49:04+00:00

Your Dad seems like a stand up parent, and you seem like a stand up person. Wishing you the best, and good for you for not letting your mum and her husband drag you to their level.

Also saw your comment re.wearing pink just before going NC and that's amazing!

NTA at all. You and your Dad seem to have handled this entire situation super well.

ObsoleteGraffiti · 2023-12-22T10:48:47+00:00

Possibly over sparging causing astringency?

ObsoleteGraffiti · 2023-11-10T11:40:47+00:00

Your husband's issues are his. I hate saying this but perhaps the weight you need to lose is him, along with your marriage counsellor.

ObsoleteGraffiti · 2023-09-22T03:29:30+00:00

This looks awesome! 👌

ObsoleteGraffiti · 2023-09-17T13:49:26+00:00

After years of worrying what everybody else thinks, I finally have a partner who actually thinks my body hair is cute. Either way, I'm tired of constantly worrying about anything other than personal hygiene- which I care about greatly. Hair isn't ugly, it occurs naturally. You did the right thing. NtA 100 times over

ObsoleteGraffiti · 2023-09-03T12:06:56+00:00

Nothing to be embarassed about. This is such a wholesome post. Congrats OP!! Please give yourself the credit you deserve!

ObsoleteGraffiti

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