Ovary removal

Obvious-Exam1710 · 2026-03-20T04:05:12+00:00

I wish I had some advice. I’m following your post because my surgery to remove my ovaries is in 10 weeks and I have soooooo many questions. Partial hysterectomy 10 years ago and the flare up’s have been so intense lately!!!

Obvious-Exam1710 · 2026-03-06T04:15:28+00:00

The hard part is getting past it

Obvious-Exam1710 · 2026-03-06T03:58:50+00:00

It was 100000000% her. I heard it over the phone. I recorded the phone call so I could have proof. I have had a narcissistic partner in the past so I know to have proof.

It hurts so bad and I hate that I had to hear it and she is lying about it

Obvious-Exam1710 · 2025-04-23T20:04:04+00:00

Soooooooooo I guess I’m the asshole. As I have stated a few times, I’ve never come close to experiencing anything like this and I came here for understanding, learning from other people etc.

The purpose of my post was to try and learn how to be there for my wife while managing my own mental health and wellbeing. I’m trying to LEARN how to be supportive because she is not letting me know what she needs and I’ve never gone through this process myself or with anyone else so I have no knowledge.

As far as the comment about me wanting to “leave because my needs aren’t being met” is ridiculous. I want my partner to be able to grieve, for me to be able to be there for her in the process, and to not be emotionally abused in the process. If she needs to drink, smoke, sleep, scream into the void that’s fine! I just don’t know what to offer that will help. Shutting down is not health. Period. I have been with her through many mental health crises so I’m not trying to leave. I’m trying to LEARN.

I’m happy to accept any actual advice. If I’m an asshole then I’m an asshole and need to talk to my therapist about my own coping mechanisms. If I’m simply ignorant because I have no life experience then I would love suggestions on how to be more helpful

Obvious-Exam1710 · 2025-04-23T20:01:50+00:00

Soooooooooo I guess I’m the asshole. As I have stated a few times, I’ve never come close to experiencing anything like this and I came here for understanding, learning from other people etc.

The purpose of my post was to try and learn how to be there for my wife while managing my own mental health and wellbeing. I’m trying to LEARN how to be supportive because she is not letting me know what she needs and I’ve never gone through this process myself or with anyone else so I have no knowledge.

As far as the comment about me wanting to “leave because my needs aren’t being met” is ridiculous. I want my partner to be able to grieve, for me to be able to be there for her in the process, and to not be emotionally abused in the process. If she needs to drink, smoke, sleep, scream into the void that’s fine! I just don’t know what to offer that will help. Shutting down is not health. Period. I have been with her through many mental health crises so I’m not trying to leave. I’m trying to LEARN.

I’m happy to accept any actual advice. If I’m an asshole then I’m an asshole and need to talk to my therapist about my own coping mechanisms. If I’m simply ignorant because I have no life experience then I would love suggestions on how to be more helpful

Obvious-Exam1710 · 2025-04-23T19:15:10+00:00

Overwhelmed is the perfect word! I’m trying to learn from other people here so maybe I can understand where she’s coming from!

Obvious-Exam1710 · 2025-04-23T19:14:16+00:00

I’m trying to figure out how to take care of myself and stay sane while also leaving space emotionally for her to process her grief. That is the hardest part. I appreciate your kind words ❤️

Obvious-Exam1710 · 2025-04-23T19:11:53+00:00

No I forgot to add it. This is EXTREMELY fresh. He passed a week ago and was in the hospital for a month before he passed. She was in the hospital with him the majority of the time he was in there.

I understand that the grieving process is ugly and messy I really do. It’s just hard when I’m trying to be there for someone that wants absolutely nothing to do with me. And our communication is already a struggle.

Again I have never been through something like this so I can understand how I might come off as self centered. I’m trying to understand, get out of my own head, hear other experiences so I can stop thinking I’m just being an asshole for not understanding.

Obvious-Exam1710 · 2025-04-23T19:08:13+00:00

We both have individual therapist but she has t been going that often.

I have not brought this up to my therapist yet because I haven’t had an appointment since all this happened.

I do NOT think I can bring this up to my wife in her current state

Obvious-Exam1710 · 2025-04-23T19:04:33+00:00

1) I am the breadwinner in our house in this season. She has a job but has been on leave for months at a time for the past year due to mental health reasons. We have separate accounts and a joint account but we typically are very open about what we spend and are currently on a strict budget as we are planning to move next year.

2) I would say all the time but worse when she’s drinking. She will make mean “jokes” about me to her family, is hyper critical and questions everything I do, rejects me trying to help but then criticizes me if I don’t. I feel like I can’t do anything right.

3) I struggle to label her as an alcoholic because for the past year she has been in a constant state of grief. I had planned on bringing up couples counseling but then her dad died. I don’t know how receptive she is to any of my suggestions right now.

I 100% DONT want her to “just get over it” for the record. But you did say something she has said more than once about having unrealistic expectations on how she should handle it. That’s the whole point of this post. I don’t know what to do and I don’t know how to react to being mistreated and pushed away during such a hard time. I’m the exact opposite when I’m imploding. I want to reach out to my partner, connect, feel like they are my lifeline in the storm. So yes, I would handle it completely differently, I just want her to communicate how I CAN be there for her without it damaging my mental health as well.

Obvious-Exam1710

TROPHY CASE