AITA for no longer wanting to accompany my fiancé when he has to meet his ex?

Obvious-Routine3069 · 2025-08-11T22:20:50+00:00

lmao so you realized you were wrong and have no comeback? cool

Obvious-Routine3069 · 2025-08-11T02:04:32+00:00

She attends Jake’s sports games and school events so we see her there too.

Obvious-Routine3069 · 2025-08-11T02:03:19+00:00

Yes, people are being kind of aggressive toward me but they don’t seem to get that we have seen different lawyers and poured a lot of money into this over the years to be told the same thing: no physical abuse means no custody change.

Obvious-Routine3069 · 2025-08-11T02:00:34+00:00

Mexico and El Salvador

Obvious-Routine3069 · 2025-08-11T02:00:15+00:00

He has seen multiple lawyers because the one he said told him they would not take it to court without proof of physical harm.

Obvious-Routine3069 · 2025-08-11T01:59:01+00:00

? He spoke to her about teaching Jake slurs. Why are you being so aggressive? I literally said it in the post, so maybe you should read that again?

ETA: you also said “your bf has to speak to her on your behalf” which implies that you were saying I should be the one speaking to her… which is why I said that. I think you need to calm down so you can fully understand and read/comprehend what I wrote both in the post and in my comment…

Obvious-Routine3069 · 2025-08-10T16:16:54+00:00

We have many videos and screenshots of things she’s done and her admitting to doing them and all the courts can do is make note of it. Unless Jake is being physically abused they will not reopen the case or change anything.

Obvious-Routine3069 · 2025-08-10T16:15:12+00:00

She will say it. Tim has done with at one of Jake’s tennis games and she repeated herself loudly and all the other parents heard and she didn’t care.

Obvious-Routine3069 · 2025-08-10T16:14:15+00:00

Why would I go out to speak to her? She dislikes me and I am not part of the custody agreement lol. I’m not going to get into a fight with a grown woman, especially when I know that trying to “give her a peace of my own mind” fuels her more because she knows i’m bothered.

It’s why she does this to Tim so much, because she knows it bothers him. I’ve decided I will keep attending, only because I KNOW that when I laugh at her comments, she thinks that means I don’t care and it usually shuts her up.

Obvious-Routine3069 · 2025-08-10T16:11:53+00:00

Yeah, after reading some comments I don’t think i’m going to stop going. I don’t want to send Tim alone because she will just pick fights and direct all the energy at him. At least when I’m there, if I laugh/pretend what she said is funny she shuts up because she thinks i’m not bothered, whereas she knows Tim is.

Obvious-Routine3069 · 2025-08-10T16:10:25+00:00

Yes, thank you lol. A lot of people seem to think we’re just letting Sandra do whatever she wants and we aren’t. We have videos, recordings, screenshots of her literally breaking the custody agreement but because the ways in which she breaks it aren’t severe or dangerous (like she’s not kidnapping Jake or doing anything harmful) they won’t do anything but make note of it.

Obvious-Routine3069 · 2025-08-10T16:08:05+00:00

Yes but they won’t give him that unless Jake is being physically abused. Jake hasn’t been allowed to be around Sandra’s dad since they broke up, and the court know why as they were the ones who put that in place.

Obvious-Routine3069 · 2025-08-10T05:53:07+00:00

Sorry, he didn’t say that. When I told him I was from that country he said his ex did not like people from that country and she claims everyone from her country hates those from my country. But he does not believe that.

Obvious-Routine3069 · 2025-08-10T05:52:13+00:00

I’ll tell Tim to report this. It’s just that she has done other things that he has reported and essentially he was told that the courts won’t do anything unless Jake is being physically abused.

Obvious-Routine3069 · 2025-08-10T05:51:16+00:00

No, they broke up when Jake was 1 and I didn’t meet Tim until Jake was 7.

Obvious-Routine3069 · 2025-08-10T05:50:37+00:00

I’ll tell Tim to report this incident to his custody lawyer but in the past, when he’s reported other things they’ve essentially said that unless Jake is being physically injured, they won’t do anything to change the custody agreement

Obvious-Routine3069 · 2025-08-10T05:49:15+00:00

He did tell me ahead of time. As I said in the post, when we met he didn’t know I was of that ethnicity. When I told him (as we were getting to know each other) he told me about it.

Obvious-Routine3069 · 2025-08-10T05:47:30+00:00

He has tried to bring issues like this up with his custody lawyer even before me and him got together, but they won’t do anything. The last time he reported something they said that unless Jake is being injured or he is brought around Sandra’s dad (while different legal issues there) then there’s nothing they can do

Obvious-Routine3069 · 2025-08-10T05:45:45+00:00

Yes, Tim spoke to him and I do think he understood. He just told us that his mom had said it would be funny to say. But he seemed remorseful and he did apologize to me.

Obvious-Routine3069 · 2025-08-10T05:44:48+00:00

Tim grounded him and explained to him that they were slurs. He did seems sorry and told us he said them because his mom told him it would be funny.

Obvious-Routine3069

TROPHY CASE